kelpie_is_trying @ kelpie_returns @lemmy.world

Trying not to over-share is my natural state and I am usually pretty bad at

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4 mo. ago

According to Serengeti, it is entirely possible for a dong to hurt enough that it affects one's ability to walk. I've never experienced this, but I trust Serengeti, so I'm gonna say.....valid!

I am okay with this (but only if Mistress allows ofc)

I was hanging out with my cousin (I was maybe 7yo at the oldest) and we were laughing because I had suddenly farted. He responded with his own toot, but to our surprise, it came out with such force and velocity that it shook every window in the room....or so I had thought.

Turns out that a large shipping truck had passed by at just the right time and because of where we were in the room, he had seen it, but I could not. His earth-shaking ass-clapper was but a farce! Hardly even a poot left his patootie! And still, he let me believe for years (I was a naive kid lol) that he could end the world if he only ate enough beans and wanted it bad enough. What a rascal!

Fastball's The Way!

Nice

This post is gross af

Half agree. Even if many of them are just money-hungry, there is still a ton of non-fiscal value in making it clear that queerness is not a shameful anomaly and can instead be a point of both strength and pride. Lots of kids out there are stuck in families that want them to believe the exact opposite, when they genuinely need to know that the world has more to offer than just that.

I don't appreciate companies trying to capitalize on this, but as a friend and sibling to many queer folk (and as well as being a bit fruity myself, even if not fully this or that), I think this visibility is currently very necessary and possibly even life saving for some severely stuck folks. Even if the motivation is obviously crook, I can get behind giving those people the inspiration they need to accept and understand themselves in spite of those who would rather see them hating themselves or worse.

Others have mentioned money, but I would like to propose this: horny

So extremely real

Likewise with Kate Bush. She filled her bag and fucked right off and I couldn't be happier for her

Many such cases, unfortunately

Am I misremembering, or was he also disturbingly obsessed with an underaged girl?

Pattern recognition. There are only so many stories and story elements that people work with. Familiarize yourself with them for long enough and most stories can be correctly 'read' before act 2 even begins.

Good authors know how to take advantage of this and fake out a seasoned audience, but most stories follow fairly simple patterns.

That is cool. Maybe don't tho.

I can click my tongue really, really loud. Like a baseball hitting a bat hard. Aside from making people jump, I have yet to find any practical use for this talent.

I have only ever lived in slums and ghettos except for the two years I spent living with my mother after her second divorce. There was also a half a year spent at my exes family's summer home. Never felt so free as being able to wake up, go outside and see nothing but trees and hills in every direction.

Other than those two spots, it's been shitty landlords and inconsiderate neighbors all the way through. Color me surprised if I ever find myself with enough money for more than food and housing.

Even a laptop in hs seemed like an incredible luxury to me. Only "rich" kids got that stuff, from my perspective back then. All my toys except a single gameboy color and two pokemon games were gifted to me by my far better off cousins/aunt and uncle.

The way things are going in my country, I don't expect this to change before I die. Money and the comfort it can bring are a pipedream for people like me, who grew up in dirt, now still live in dirt, and can only imagine a life above all the grubs and crawlers down here in the dusty, dusty dirt. Oh well 🤷‍♀️

2BOOBS

A butterfly complaining about change is low key really funny

Give it time and there will be more than 9. Dude is a known problem.

It kind of is though. Any ass licking is technically anal sex because it is sex that involves the anus, but not all anal sex involves ass licking.