I don’t know what words might better express what I’m thinking. So I’ll tell a story. I was raised religious, in a demanding Christian sect. There were a lot of expectations and judgement about what it takes to be a good person. Now, I’ve arrived at a point in my life where I reject the religious ideology and the conception of what it means to be a good person. I think that life is due to chance, that life is brief and temporary and that meaning is created only in my mind. I’m married and have kids. That gave me a lot of meaning, but my wife and I have drifted apart and my kids are mostly grown and are mostly independent. What now? I enjoy sports, and VR gaming and public speaking. I also tried cannabis (legal in my country) and it’s fun. Is there any reason I shouldn’t use it often? Is there something more important I should do with my life? Will I regret later doing things that are fun now?
Maybe none of it matters, but I’m curious what other people think and feel and believe. I’m happy to hear philosophical views, but I’m really curious about how others live.
Maybe I worded the question badly. Is happiness an indication that the world is a better place because I’m here? I think so, and I think that’s enough. Do you agree?
It probably matters to people who are looking for an external source of meaning, and doesn’t matter to people who are creating an internal source of meaning. In that way, it’s maybe a useful clue to what type of meaning is more valid.
In the scenario you gave, how would you judge whether a life was well lived? How would you go about living a good life? What would you do or become to be an effective human being?
I really like what you said here. Being happy is fine and it’s enough a lot of the time. There can be other ways to find meaning in life, and those will always be subjective and personal. Many people will try to tell you how you should love your life, but it will only be meaningful if it aligns with your own sense of self.
Personally, I’m allergic to the word “should”. My reaction is: “don’t impose your subjective reality on me.” But someone I respect and admire said that there would be more to life than happiness and that’s part of where my question came from. I think there can be more to life than happiness, but I’m not falling short if I’m finding happiness for myself and my family and my friends; that can be enough, because I decided it’s enough.
The church I was raised in also makes a distinction between real happiness and temporary pleasure. I reject that idea. You’re right that drugs and alcohol can have negative side-effects or long-term effects. TV doesn’t, it’s just wasted time. But that makes me think that you’re saying: no, happiness isn’t the point, being productive is more important.
You might be surprised to hear that I've explored Buddhism somewhat, and I think it has helped. I went from worrying that I'm not good enough and I'm not achieving enough, to just accepting who and what I am. I feel that's been positive. The video you linked sums it up nicely. I enjoy the book Who ordered this truckload of dung? : inspiring stories for welcoming life's difficulties by Ajahn Brahm (https://archive.org/details/whoorderedthistr0000ajah).
Part of the inspiration for this post was: I am a grown up and I can do whatever I want with the next hour. What will I do? What does that say about me? What should I do with my life? What kind of person does that make me? Am I shallow for just wanting to experience as many new things as possible? I don't think so, I think that's just my genetics expression themselves. But that raises questions about free will, and I'm not willing to ponder that this morning. I'd rather spend the next hour doing something fun.
But isn’t our life really just the story we tell ourselves about ourselves? I guess I’m trying to create a narrative arc, and your comment says to me: enjoy the exposition and character development; it’s enough.
Thank you for your comments about dementia. It scares me, but I was wondering if happiness is worthwhile, even if the person that I spark happiness in won’t ever remember it. I think of both elderly people and small children, because my kids no longer remember some of our early vacations, which are some of my happiest memories. And I conclude that making people happy is valuable in itself and never wasted, even if they will forget. Maybe because that’s how I conceive of my own personality or being: I make people feel good and that makes me who I am. But maybe that says more about me or my society than about life in general.
Okay, this is an interesting idea. I said purpose, but you said meaning. Aren’t those the same? Imagine I’m pursuing something pointless, like hedonistic pleasure. Why isn’t that meaningful? How can I determine if my actions are meaningful?
I don’t disagree, but I’d like to explore a little further. If you were the last person on earth, I’d everyone else died of old age and you are the last, would you still want to leave the earth better than you found it? Would you take comfort in or be indifferent to the happiness you brought to the people you love? Are your ideas about good and better based on the experiences of other people, or do they exist objectively?
I really like your answer.