intensely_human @ intensely_human @lemm.ee

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2

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9,641

Joined

2 yr. ago

It was my reddit account, where I had twelve years’ worth to commentary, predictions, poetry, etc in the comments.

But they permabanned me and deleted everything I ever wrote.

He’s so determined to have a good time with his son

Same as mine

Turns out your mom works in mysterious ways too

Diamond Now in the ruff

Yeah they’re called moderators

Wow, really?

But that’s like putting “do no chew or crush” on a bottle of prescription pills. That’s how you know it’s the good shit.

• proportions and quantity. This won’t help

If we use less high-fructose corn syrup then it will help since fructose delays your body’s feeling of satiation.

• Don’t buy supplies. Workers often think they need things to do their jobs but they’re always wrong
• Make the lights flicker. By flickering the lights continually, you save 50% on electric bills without major loss of visibility
• Deny PTO requests. It doesn’t cost anything to have employees work through their vacation. You’re already paying for that time, might as well get some productivity out of it.
• Salary = 24/7 employee. By paying your R&D staff per year, you can extract a year’s worth of productivity every year. The sleepless delerium is good for creativity
• Skip the R. Research doesn’t make you any money. It’s the Development of new products that makes new money. Order your employees to Skip the R, which consumes a significant portion of R&D budgets
• Creative bonuses. A pizza party is bonus enough. Everybody loves pizza, and when they see you come in with that piping hot goodness it hacks their brains into liking you even more
• Lead the charge. Polls show that C- and mid-level management can find creative ways to help the process along, and often while skipping large portions of unnecessary work, by spending time showing R&D staff how it’s done
• Coordinate often. Further polls show that the number one reason things take too long is that nobody is asking for progress reports. Progress reports are best delivered in person, in the presence of the entire team. Zoom and other tools can support up to 3500 meeting participants, but even better is to clear out any lab space for a regular all-hands meeting. SCRUM stands for Standing Creatively, Reassessing the Utility of Meetingless time

You have to get a little creative to slash those R&D budgets, but in the long run it can pay off in terms of bonuses and promotions. Getting noticed by even higher management is important. You got this!

All of them except the licensed trades. You can get any of those jobs by undergoing the proper training.

But basically go on indeed and browse the list of jobs. You can have any one of those jobs, in principle.

Well, they did technically just say “millennials”.

They omitted the modifier “a tiny fraction of”, but that’s assumed

Think about it like Socrates, man. Of course there’s gonna be a category for things that don’t fit in any other categories.

Yeah but you oughta see the other guy

That’s playing though. Have you seen the videos of cats dodging cobra attacks?

If you land a kick or a punch.

I bet a cat could open your carotid artery before you could touch it with your hands.

True, the human’s fight level would increase as death approached so a cat probably couldn’t kill them after all.

But a cat could probably blind a human before the human realized how serious shit was.

I don’t believe you

Model number

Jesus