Happened to me a while back. In my case, they had also gotten access to my google password manager and were trying to cover their tracks in funneling money from my bank account and purchasing phones on several platforms (google store, eBay, etc).
Absolutely change your banking passwords, let them know that there could be potential fraud, and start looking for purchases on every platform you might have saved financial information on.
Restaurants here often have a spicy oil on the table that I’ve see plenty of Italians put on their pizza. I don’t see it as being all that different. However, if it was a hot sauce with any amount of pineapple and you’d get your Italian citizenship revoked. 😅
Sorry friend, that’s awful. Glad you had almost 18 years with her though. Hoping the pain fades a bit while the memories live strong.