humorlessrepost @ humorlessrepost @lemmy.world

Posts

5

Comments

664

Joined

2 yr. ago

There’s a loophole where his coworkers can ask him a really long question and as long as he’s back by the time they’re done, it’s all good.

Maybe one day minorities will learn to shut their fucking mouths and try harder to blend in with me and mine.

*A manifesto alleged to have been found on the suspect.

There are plenty of well-funded organizations willing to pay good money to shift various Overton windows. Especially now that Google is so enshitified that people append “Reddit” to the end of searches.

Yeah, in a strictly financial sense, they already offered to make her whole. IANAL but I doubt this would be the million-dollar suit that I wish it were.

Damn pharmacy benefit managers.

What a pithy reply.

This ^

They’ll sell your debt to Capital One. Or whichever company sucked Trump’s dick most recently.

1. Most dealerships don’t buy the cars they put on the lot, they have floor plans
2. Insurance

The result of this, if anything, will be higher insurance on Tesla floor plans, which is a small good thing.

If Kyle Kulinski ever said this, he’d be castrated.

Surviving humans, take note:

Per Syndicate rules, subsection 543 of the Precious Elemental Reserves Code, having failed to file a proper appeal for mineral and elemental rights within 50 solars of first contact, your planet has been successfully seized and is currently being mined of all requested elemental deposits by the assigned planetary regent.

Every interior of your world has been crushed and all raw materials-organic and inanimate-are in the process of being mined for the requested elements.

Per the Mined Material Reclamation Act along with subsection 35 of the Indigenous Planetary Species Protection Act, any surviving humans will be given the opportunity to reclaim their lost matter. The Borant Corporation, having been assigned regency over this solar system, is allowed to choose the manner of this reclamation, and they have chosen option 3, also known as the 18-Level World Dungeon. The Borant Corporation retains all rights to broadcast, exploit, and otherwise control all aspects of the World Dungeon and will remain in control as long as they adhere to Syndicate regulations regarding world resource reclamation.

Upon successful completion of level 18 of the World Dungeon, regency of this planet will revert to the successor.

A Syndicate neutral observer AI-myself-has been created and dispatched to this planet to supervise the creation of the World Dungeon and to ensure all the rules and regulations are properly followed.

Please pay careful attention to the following information as it will not be repeated.

Per the Indigenous Planetary Species Protection Act, all remaining materials-estimated to be 99.999999% of the sifted matter-is currently being repurposed for the subterranean World Dungeon. The first level of this dungeon will open approximately 18 seconds after the end of this announcement. The first-level entrances will be open for exactly one human hour and one hour only. Once the entrances are closed, you may no longer enter. If you enter, you may not leave until you have either completed all 18 levels of the World Dungeon or if you meet certain other requirements.

Seriously! Just ask your dad to run to Whole Foods, dummy!

or maybe then it'd be called the USRICS?

SIRCUS

Yet nobody objects to fantasies about time traveling to kill hitler.

1337 SP33K iz 8USSin 0n 90d phr phr

Good idea! I have one of those for my Invisalign thingies. Just need to clean it thoroughly between the two.

If you’re going to laugh at the death of Kentuckians because the majority of their voters voted for Trump, I hope Europeans give you the same treatment if you drown to death since the majority of American voters did the same.

Nope theirs was more clever

They probably a/b tested some headlines and this one got the most clicks.