hOrni @ hOrni @lemmy.world

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907

Joined

2 yr. ago

For me it's always time to watch David Pumpkins daily.

Why? Why would they even notice? It's not like the rope is made of metal.

Perfect.

I've already said this, but this year's best couples costume would be JD Vance and a couch.

A guy I knew flew Ryanair to go climbing. He wore his rope as a belt.

Imagine a candidate spilling bullshit like "Haitian immigrants are eating the dogs". That would be hilarious.

You cannot lose something you never had.

Great, so now can I get an add-on to my browser that skips these?

Ever watched Bladerunner?

They're all fake, just in case anyone's wondering.

I like how this post turned into tips on how to kill yourself. Saving it for later.

Don't You dare screw this up. Assisted dying is the only thing I'm looking forward to in life. And I'm 37, so I'll need this good and running in like the next 4 years.

I already did. Would not recommend.

Now let's talk about your car's extended warranty.

Considering his mental decline in the last four years, in 2028, he will only be able to get on a stage and shit himself. And people will still vote for him.

Didn't George Carlin do this bit 2 decades ago?

Shhh. That's the secret ingredient.