In theory my insurance covers my weekly out-of-network therapist. In practice, I pay the therapist, submit my bill to insurance for reimbursement, and it disappears into the ether. They claim they'll pay me back within 60 days (sometimes 60 business days, sometimes calendar days).
I've gotten a couple reimbursements in the last year, but I'm currently waiting on at least 5 months of payments. That's maybe $2000 and I'm lucky I can float that through savings.
And this is all supposed to go towards my annual maximum out-of-pocket expenses but the online system doesn't show that, but the papers I'm mailed do.
Oh, and in theory I could go to an in-network therapist but in practice they either don't exist or aren't a good fit.
Edit: and this is with what's theoretically really good insurance, thanks to my union. I spent 5 months not knowing if they'd arbitrarily deny my therapy.
I'm not certain his PA jail funds will transfer to NY if/when he gets extradited. I know there was an issue with transferring my brother's commissary funds when he moved jails, and that was within the same state.
My (unmarried) partner and I went to a lawyer together. The lawyer walked us through everything. We're basically leaving things to each other, with backups in case that's not an option. We have a special clause for who gets the dog if neither of us can--pup and some cash goes to a good friend, and we checked with friend ahead of time.
Lawyer asked us for any relatives we'd like to specifically exclude from inheritance, and she wasn't judgey at the length of our lists.
We're also each other's health care powers of attorney and decision-makers.
I recommend doing this at a lawyer if you can, it makes things much less stressful.
According to the 2021 census, trans people are .5% of the population. Jewish people are .4% of the population. Where is your cutoff for what population is too minor to care about?
My current theory is he doesn't experience pleasure or closeness from sex and doesn't have the emotional capacity to understand that others might. Maybe he thinks others are making up/exaggerating the non-reproductive benefits they receive from sex?
This is not the representation we asexuals need.
Just because sex is boring AF to me doesn't mean others can't enjoy it. I have hobbies y'all might not enjoy. Let people enjoy stuff!
My aunts' grandparents came from Poland. Their parents spoke Polish in the house. They were raised with a whole close-knit gaggle of cousins, also with Polish grandparents and parents. The old country wasn't that long ago for them. They've visited.
Me, eh. My dad married someone from Appalachia and I grew up away from his family. I haven't heard Polish spoken outside of my great-grandaunt'a funeral. I like pierogi, kielbasa, and sauerkraut because they remind me of my dad. He'd cook them when he was feeling nostalgic.
I have looked into claiming Polish citizenship through descent (mostly because an EU passport would be comforting what with USA politics), but my folks came over too early for that.
Tldr: thinking out loud about my relationship with Poland in a way that might be a cognate to how others feel about Ireland
Yeah, we Americans have an odd relationship with the countries our ancestors come from. My dad's grandparents were all from the region now known as Poland. He was always fond of Polish foods, I think because that's what he grew up with. His niece wore a borrowed traditional Polish dress for her confirmation. My aunts knit and are into Polish patterns. Lots of Polish love on that side of the family.
My mom's family has been in Appalachia since the 1800s. That side brings in Hatfield and McCoy blood and carries on those traditions by being a disfunctional mess. I don't associate with that side.
Given the choice, it feels better to lean into Polish stuff. Pierogi and cabbage+anything is a comfort food. Makes me feel closer to my dad. So, for me, it's not about the country Poland. It's about distancing myself from my asshole mom's family and embracing my dad's relatives.
I did like working in an open office back in a previous career. I did QA and was integrated with a team of devs. It was lovely to turn to the person whose code I was testing and ask for clarification on a behavior. There really was a lot of teamwork facilitated by the lack of privacy.
The office had small rooms with doors where you could make phone calls without distracting everyone.
My current assessment is that having a gun in the house would increase the risk of a household member's suicidal ideation turning into suicide. That risk is higher than projected benefit of being able to shoot a threat in the face.
I grew up with guns. I've enjoyed shooting guns. I should not have a gun in the house..
I am team "know your neighbors and have a disaster readiness kit". My neighbors are great. We help each other.
They can also force transgender people in institutional settings (prison, college, military, etc) to be housed with the wrong gender. That can be dangerous.
I've been to venues in New England where the formerly gendered restrooms are unisexed with just signs--something along the lines is "unisex with urinals" and "unisex without urinals". Sometimes the change is just for an event, sometimes it's more permanent. It just works.
For me, I'm in a condo that we bought with a 15-year mortgage during the pandemic. My mortgage (including escrow/taxes and insurance) plus HOA fees is about $2100/month. My old apartment (including monthly pet fee) was more than that when I lived there. It's currently listed for $2500/month (big complex, not necessarily my unit).
I promise all y'all I'm not spending $400/month on homeowner-specific costs. And, I could reduce my monthly cost by moving to a 30-year mortgage instead of a 15-year mortgage.
Edit: looked up my old apartment again. Holy shit, it's listed for $2750, which doesn't include a pet fee.
I finally blocked my mom's phone number earlier this month. It's only taken me 7 years since she blew up at me in a way she couldn't/wouldn't take back.
It can be a slow journey and you might question it as you go, but it's worthwhile. And more people than you might expect are estranged from their families. I used to worry that my IRL acquaintances and friends would judge me for it, but nope.
grysbok @ grysbok @lemmy.sdf.org Posts 10Comments 532Joined 2 yr. ago
Spicy rocks make water hot.