I have as well, plus the devices do some sketchy phoning home to servers in China. Unfortunately, their hardware does seem to be better than the other choices, at least among current models.
(edit: I should add that lately I've only been looking at 10" screen models.)
You've long been able to switch through your last few opened apps with Alt-Tab, just like on a desktop OS. So maybe Settings is still in your history… or maybe you can get it open again, at least briefly, by mashing keys?
I've read about people connecting theirs by running a hose from the sink connection to the bidet. Normally you'd only do that to get hot water into the mix, but I guess it's also an option to get basic cold water if you're stuck with a fussy toilet.
These are all kind of one-note jokes.