We're running out of time!
cassie 🐺 @ eupraxia @lemmy.blahaj.zone Posts 1Comments 150Joined 2 yr. ago
cassie 🐺 @ eupraxia @lemmy.blahaj.zone
Posts
1
Comments
150
Joined
2 yr. ago
+1 to this for sure. Applies for gender identity too. Speaking just for myself, the longer it's been since I transitioned the less my actual labeled identity has mattered, to the point that these days I just say "nonbinary" and move on. It's what makes a lot of the "what is a woman" rhetoric baffling, given the label and definition matters so little in day to day life.
My bf comes off pretty much straight, but he describes himself as pansexual and attracted to feminine people. It's cool to see him engage with the queer community despite being more or less able to "pass" as cishet if he wanted to, and his nebulous labeling was really helpful in settling my nerves as a newly-out trans woman. Less worrying about whether or not I was woman enough, more just hearing him say he likes me and that's that.
Was just about to post IDLES here myself. It goes and it goes and it goes
But I want red-red, not orange-red! It's not the same thing!!
This is what I came to the comments for! Thanks for the explanation, that's cool as hell.
It's something that's important in personal relationships I think, but the context and human tends to get lost over the internet.
If a friend's drowning in negativity, one can be present in some ways, but that can't be fixed by anyone else nor would that even really make sense. They could be in a bad situation, in which case maybe there's ways to directly help, but oftentimes it's something only they can work through and we also have to maintain some distance and boundaries and recognize we won't fix how they feel nor should we try to. And sometimes people just need to vent negativity and shout into the void or break down to a friend.
On the internet, we fire off walls of text under the presumption people will just read it and get it and fuck off and go change their whole worldview. It takes time and the ephemeral nature of communication on the Internet means we'll never be around for the context or resolution of someone's difficulties. (nor will they for our own.) So, even more than irl, we have to set boundaries on how invested we're willing to get. It's a constant frustration for me though.
ps muse dash looks cute as hell, have fun!!
I crunch it in my mouth and spit it into the pan
Yep absolutely!
For me, it felt like my life was quickly progressing away from a youth I was not ready to leave for inexplicable reasons. In the end I ended up taking a nuclear option once I realized how uncomfortable I was with my future, and while it's not been easy it's been absolutely worth it.
Even though you may be stuck in the same habits and mistakes, they can be rewritten and you'll be surprised how quickly life changes once you find what makes you authentically happy. A lot can happen in 3 years and I guarantee you'll still be young at 24. You can still be young at twice that. There's a lot of life ahead of you, especially once you take calculated risks to improve your future and make the most of the youth you still have. You may not know what exactly will make you happy, but trust in yourself and your judgement to find it as you go.
I fight people and have opinions!
Really depends on the sport. In non-professional fencing and HEMA, practice tends to be coed. Men and women tend to perform equivalently - really height is the biggest "biological advantage". More reach means more ability to hit an opponent before they hit you, and this goes the same for men and women. Sure, men can accelerate a bit faster and tend to be taller, women can plant their feet a little wider and tend to be more balanced and flexible - but these are just averages. Individual people vary wildly because biology doesn't give a shit about the categories we create to describe it. And strategy can make up for a lot of those things in ways that you really just can't with height discrepancies. We had to give our club's tallest member a shorter axe just to make up for the reach advantage when she fought people she stood a head above.
Dividing strictly based on AGAB is not an even playing field and I feel trans athletes only draw attention to what's already a significant problem in competitive sports. And once you get to a professional level, I understand there's more nuance, but a vast, vast majority of athletes are not professional and the issue is blown far out of proportion for them. Anyone pushing to enforce divisions in kids' sports via genital inspections has lost their goddamn minds.
SPD has "limited value" to the small biased sample of locals I know. They're very unpopular in some communities, especially queer/minority communities around where these inspections took place. But as always, many others aren't directly impacted and so they tend to be quietly neutral or supportive of the police.
I went just once in Capitol Hill, Seattle. If I was more of an extroverted type it probably could have been cool - it was a concert venue featuring a bunch of queer artists, and a lot of tents for queer community organizations - mutual aid, healthcare, counseling, etc. There's definitely a way to make Pride useful for the community. But it's really just bringing together a community that always existed regardless - and imo no reason to wait til June to start getting involved and organized 😁
I point conversion therapy out as an egregious example of persecution, but there's plenty more, through a variety of avenues. Many fly under the radar as things that sound less intense - schools notifying parents if kids go by a nickname or change how they present is one that's come up a lot lately.
From experience - lots of people thankfully have a "live our lives in peace" attitude - but unfortunately even a minority of bigots can make our lives pretty difficult and divisive. Especially if they're allowed to do so by other people who don't agree themselves, but also don't fight it when they see it.
And so sure, the message has been coopted for mainstream audiences by corporations running ads like "[sterile uplifting music] at CitiBank, we think you're people! [stock rainbow flags waving]" If you know anyone who's queer, you know there's real difficulty that comes with it, but also a resilient community takes care of each other the best they can. Pride ads are how most people know of us, but they're not even close to representing us or the stakes we face. They're pretty much entirely irrelevant to us - we never asked for them, and they certainly don't help.
A lot more people identify with LGBT+ than there used to be, because it's a very open label and people are more able to identify with it in accepting environments.
There's a hell of a lot more people now who are... pretty much cishet, but maybe have some 5% attraction to the same sex, or they're attracted to trans/nonbinary people, and so they consider themselves bisexual or pansexual, etc. when 5-10 years ago they probably wouldn't have.
The specific number starts to mean a lot less when we remember the attitude of those people answering "do you identify with LGBT" has quickly shifted from "oh, well I'm definitely not gay!!" to "uhh sure, why not?" in a very short amount of time. I'm of the opinion this doesn't reflect a change in our baseline behavior and is... not even consistently measurable given the diverging, shifting cultural context.
Talking in broad strokes all about balancing "freedom of identity/attraction" and "religious freedom" makes for a decent-sounding empathetic viewpoint prioritizing individual liberty. I understand where this is coming from, I don't disagree myself, but then again who would?
And that's why we have to get into the specifics of "forcefully spreading their belief system and values to others" because that's what happens to queer people as status quo. We're legally and socially discriminated out of a lot of aspects of public life and often carry deep trauma from wrath and abuse incurred on the way. Conversion therapy is still legal in many places for fucks sake! The hell is that if not forcefully spreading a belief system?
Often times, the term this is justified under is "freedom of religion" - but really it's freedom to control and abuse others due to religious justification. The two freedoms are not equatable, therefore the balanced center between is not a neutral position.
Corporate pride advertising is super forced and very few queer people are actually on board with it. The term is "rainbow capitalism" and it's pretty derisive. Unfortunately that's all of what some people know of us - they don't know us as people, as communities, just like them; they know us as a rainbow flag on a TV screen and as a Tucker/LWT/[whoever's got opinions about us today] talk show segment, and so that's all they think we are. Nobody likes this, queer people least of all.
While I do broadly agree, I feel it's important to note generational trauma is a real and separate concept. It just refers to the idea that trauma can be passed down from parents to children by repeating the same behavior or perpetuating the same ideas that traumatized them. This can be especially apparent in children of immigrants, religious extremists, or survivors of abuse, all for completely different reasons. It's very common and worth talking about.
Personally I don't care to characterize em as lunatics, because that word really only serves to categorize them into an entirely different realm of brain function, and I feel like that's counterproductive and misrepresents how fascism works. It's not that millions of people lose their minds and frothingly support fascism, it's that fascism is capable of presenting itself as something else, or necessary, to an otherwise normal in-group base using a number of psychological weak points, many of which have been exacerbated in the Internet age with little popular understanding.
To name one example, I think of some folks I knew in my hometown, brilliant engineers, electricians, people with extreme talent in one specific thing, living in places where diversity has been historically squashed so they've only known a snow globe's worth of the world. And, especially among the older generation, they're simultaneously not very social media savvy but also way too online... Once they're given a nebulous external force to fear, the final stop of that train should be a surprise to no one.
I don't say this to absolve fascists of personal blame, because well and truly fuck 'em, they are responsible nonetheless. But fantasizing that their brains are just broken and don't function like ours is missing the point. Everyone's susceptible to a grift, social media bubble, or wishful thinking of some kind. And when you factor in trauma as a politically neutral psychological force, human behavior suddenly becomes a lot less "stupid" and a lot more... frustrating. Pretending we're not weak to analogues of many of the same things is doing ourselves a disservice. We need a better standard than just doing what they do when they talk about trans people like we're space aliens incapable of reason.
I've heard this as a sticking point for some people, and I think it's fair. Some don't enjoy putting themselves in the shoes of a complete fuckup main character who's already made a ton of terrible decisions before the game's even started and will continue to do so despite your best efforts.
But, worth noting this is part of the appeal for a lot of other folks, and the game is going somewhere really special with it. It's not bad writing, it's a necessary component of the story being told.
Well ultimately, someone's age is (generally) a pretty easily verifiable fact with little room for argument. Whether or not someone's actions constitute an insurrection is not something you can read off a birth certificate - it relies on a subjective standard of what constitutes an insurrection. And given how many different forms that could take, I feel the 14th has to be as vague as a it is about what constitutes an insurrection. Jan 6 very obviously qualifies imo, but making a bulletproof legal argument to that effect is a whole other matter, especially considering how much scrutiny this decision will be under. Remember how wrapped in dog whistles this whole thing was - getting up on stage and vaguely suggesting to an angry mob to take their country back then going home and quietly muttering "nooo don't break the law or hurt anyone pls go home nooooo" gives a very annoying level of rhetorical wiggle room to those responsible. It's an intentional strategy to make this exact kind of argument as difficult as possible.
That on its own is no reason to not pursue invoking the 14th, because imo this is the exact situation in which it should be used, and it specifically does not require the same level of proof as in a criminal trial. But it is a significant complication we will be dealing with at all stages of this process and it remains to be seen how many are willing to stake their political careers on it.
Do consider this doesn't actually happen - but this hypothetical point is often repeated and signal-boosted above the bad things that actually do happen to trans kids, and people who simply don't want us to exist fully believe it's real, discuss it as our agenda, and even threaten institutions and doctors who may or may not actually provide gender affirming care.
"As a child, I once considered such unknowns sinister. Now, though, I understand they bear no ill will. The universe is, and we are." - Solanum, Outer Wilds