Huh. Got agoraphobia myself. It manifest in crowds. Public transport, noisy environments, parties, crowded streets, that kinda thing. No fear of outside nor dealing with people one person at a time, so I can't relate to yours. Thought it was social anxiety at first until I went to a psychiatrist for my depression. My first trip completely alone, 8 years ago, on interrail, left me so stressed that I had to stay in Copenhagen for two extra days just calming down. Took me 7 days down to Venice, then I managed to race home to Oslo again in only 24 hours. Still worth it. Its the start thats the hardest. I just had to jump into it. Nowadays I've afforded myself a cheap car. Felt stuck here in the city without it, the anxiety got worse and I just couldnt handle busses anymore (and just barely trains) so I never went anywhere. With a car my two last solitary summer vacations has been a lot more comfortable.
Sure, you won’t feel so sad anymore, but you won’t feel the high highs either.
Meh. Worth it. Because I was seriously down. Not suicidal, but 3 years ago I spent the 4 weeks of summer vacation just lying in bed, sleeping, eating, staring at the ceiling, nothing else. I dont think I would have cared if I died there. I did self-medicinate on modafinil for a while before that. That gave me the highs back too. But its not legal here and damn hard to import, so anti-depressants it is. And trying to exercise the depression away. Which is going meh, but a lot easier than before.
Those are basic needs
I believe the need to feel useful is a more basic need than socialization. But thats how I'm wired. Which may explain why I'm so bad at learning this social stuff.
shit min wage job
This is a killer. Jeez, having sucky minimum wages literally kills people by stressing them to depression and early death. We aint made for that. Shouldnt be legal.
Traveling alone, with only last-minute planning, is great though. Eating at restaurants alone in a different country without having to wait for someone, or visit parks without having to follow someone.
And depression can be medicated. And I refuse to let my own happiness be dependent upon someone else, I once decided. Other than that, I got no idea how to fix it either. Would love to be able to see myself as others see me so that I can correct whatever I'm doing wrong.
Socializing ain't worth it anyway. Lot of work for absolutely no result. I guess thats my curse.
Luckily I'm good at self-entertainment. I thrive in solitariness. Introvert to my bones. Still, would have been nice to have someone to be alone together with sometimes.
In my culture its common courtesy to thank a person after the meal, either the one who made it, brought it, or paid for it. But only if they're present. It ain't a ritual. Same-ish thing.
Its weird how one just know stuff in dreams despite having no evidence. Sometimes I might even realise it was false when I wake up, despite being completely sure its true while in the dreaming.
I have no idea why I remember this. Its literally my second memory in life and it happened before I was put in foster home, so I can't have been older than 5 most likely 4.
I was in my grandmother's living room. And on a table I see a candle. But instead of a flame on top theres a tiny wax figure of some fruit. Curious I decide to touch it, but when I do it falls over, and the living room starts burning! And theres where I woke up, I think.
I got a feeling this was more than just a dream. Regret I wasn't able to confirm that before my biological grandmother and mother died. I had time but I never did ask.
I got a few other non-dream memories from back then too. Three of those I've confirmed later that was true. So I know its possible to form permanent memories at that age.
I'm using it for my oh-my-posh theme and posh-git. Showing icons for git status and product icon for the remote service (github/bitbucket/azure). There are also themes that uses the weather icons, I've seen. And probably a bunch of other uses for someone more creative than me.
I might be wrong but I thought the official version only had "Powerline with extra symbols". Not Font Awesome, Material Design Icons, Weather, Devicons, Octicons, Font Logos, Pomicons, or Codeicons?
Delugia Code. Which is just Cascadia Code merged with Nerd Fonts. Useful for terminals. One could also just get the Nerd font patched with Cascadia Code, they are almost the same.
emptyother @ emptyother @lemmy.world Posts 3Comments 132Joined 2 yr. ago 
Oh. Guilty. Big time.