If you lived alone I'd say it would be a terrible idea to get a dog. But if your wife is home a lot then it sounds like a much more doable situation imo.
Yeah I love alone and have a career where I cannot work at home. Sometimes I think about getting a pet, but I just can't see it as being ethical in my situation. Sometimes I do ponder getting a cat though as they seem more independent, but I don't have much experience with them.
I know people with kids and they always seem like they are perpetually exhausted and barely hanging on. They talk about not sleeping and conflicts and issues and it just honestly makes it sound horrendous and really looks like they are all suffering from an outsider's perspective. But then they tell me that it's worth it because it's "fulfilling" like you said. I don't know. From an outsider's perspective, parents' words don't seem to correlate with what I see and hear.
I have a feeling that when people talk about things being "fulfilling" or "worth it" despite seeming to objectively be suffering must be some combination of strange hormones with coping mechanisms.
Idk. That's just my thoughts as a confused outsider. I'm happy that people are able to raise children. Someone has to. But I don't think I could make myself suffer to that extreme for a being that will never truly understand what you're doing for them until decades later.
Honestly, it's kind of obnoxious that you're inundated with porn by default in "all". I mean, it's fine if people are into that, but it's not necessarily what every user wants to deal with blocking when the are a new user. Some might just erroneously assume the whole platform is just a porn site and leave if that isn't what they want. I have blocked a shitton of porn communities because I'm not interested in that, but there are a hell of a lot of them. I'm glad instance blocking became a thing because prior to that I had a zillion communities blocked.
Would just nice for the default to be different is all. I get why some people are immediately super turned off by using Lemmy because of stuff like that.
Again, I'm not trying to say porn is necessarily bad, but it's a bit jarring when that's not what you came here for and when it's not what the platform is "advertised" as. It's like if Grandma tries to join Facebook to stay connected to people but when she first logs in there's just porn all over her feed. Obviously that doesn't happen there. I'm just trying to paint a picture.
Thanks for helping to validate my comment haha. I do appreciate it.
Is there anything specific you've done and would recommend to help swing in the other direction like you've stated?
Was curious as to what you might have found helpful. I had tried the beginnings of CBT in the past, but it just makes me feel bad and frustrated. I have always been taught that my thoughts and feelings are wrong, and that's effectively the core of CBT. I don't like it because it just propagates how everything I think and feel is invalid. Yet it's the "trendy" thing to do nowadays so every therapist and their mother uses it as their modality.
Interestingly though I don't think that this issue necessarily stems from deliberately toxic parents. My mom did the best she could and is very loving and nurturing but I was just too much for her to know how to deal with in this way.
When I was a kid, I would always get in trouble for getting upset. No one ever wanted to know why I was upset. They just wanted me to shut the fuck up and I often had a hard time doing so. I really wish things would have been handled the way you describe. My siblings didn't have the same problems as me in this way so it has always made me feel alone in feeling what I feel. Now as an adult, I never know if what I'm feeling is real and valid... usually I think it isn't.
Really not that shocking at all compared to many... occasionally finding out someone is dead and etc.
But one of the ones that got me was finding out that the girl who I grew up... initially was sort of friends with and eventually painfully shunned me and treated me like an alien eventually became a therapist lmao
I worked extra hours because work had been insanely busy. My supervisor decided to give me a lecture about some incredibly minor thing I did wrong so that was fun when I already was overworked. She loves picking at everyone like that. Then the following day I ran 11 miles which is the farthest I ever ran. But otherwise I was just at home alone.
I'm not sure who out here is randomly posting that information to ChatGPT. But even if they were, your address and personal details are unfortunately readily publicly available on the web. It's 2025.
First, I do NOT work in IT or anything like that. But I seem to be the most tech savvy of all my coworkers. Occasionally one of them will ask for help and I'll fix something for them. Sometimes one of them will comment that I am good with computers or something. Honestly, I figure things out just by clicking on everything. I think sometimes people are too afraid to click too many things for fear of breaking stuff, but there's not a whole lot that can go catastrophically wrong imo. I tend to just click shit until I figure out what to do.
Goddamn you guys are the most paranoid people I've ever witnessed. What in the world do you think mega corps are going to do to me for babbling incoherent nonsense to ChatGPT?
No, it's not a substitute for a real therapist. But therapy is goddamn expensive and sometimes you just need to vent about something and you don't necessarily have someone to vent to. It doesn't yield anything useful, but it can help a bit mentally do to do.
Right?? One of the first things I do when getting a new phone is disabling all the useless notifications and keeping the ones I care about. My phone doesn't spam with notifications all day.
If you lived alone I'd say it would be a terrible idea to get a dog. But if your wife is home a lot then it sounds like a much more doable situation imo.