I completely understand, but remember that for some people this is just a matter of ideology. Any response will be filled with so many bullshit claims that you'll have to spend an hour digging through random articles, YouTube videos, and googling drive-by statements in order to refute them.
They argue by shooting dozens of points at you hoping that you'll just say "ah shit, this person is quoting X, Y, and Z so they must be correct", knowing that no reasonable person would spend the time required to refute each and every BS statement they've made. (gish galloping, for the uninitiated)
I did this once before, and it took much longer than expected to refute each bullshit source. When dealing with these people you either don't engage, or enjoy them feasting on your free time.
You're arguing with a person driven by anti-Western/NATO viewpoints; you'll never get a fair response. Even if they find something to back up their claims, it'll be a biased source. Expect sputnik news or some other direct Russian propaganda source. Just gotta get used to that on Lemmy.
Edit: Removed the "t" word as apparently that's a slur now.
Sorry man, I don't know what to tell you. I've got a pretty medium end VPS on which I host my Matrix instance - only had to add an extension for storage after the first few years when the DB got too big. Things were never as bad as you said early on, and as time passed I absolutely got to the point where it would take 10-20 seconds to sync - but this was after 2 years or so of constant use.
The reason why it takes long is because of the size of the sync payload - logically, for a new server/user, this really shouldn't be that big (unless you're in rooms like Matrix HQ). So, genuinely, look into optimization: postgres, your web server (nginx, apache, caddy), and limiting your users from accessing "problematic" rooms.
Barring that just deploy the sliding sync proxy and be done with it. It's not really a problem that requires you to attempt it a thousand times.
So either you put some fancy wizardry into your system or you’re just in denial.
It's called pure Debian, baby. Also, you'll need a decent chunk of RAM if you don't have that yet. Avoid a pagefile if you can.
Might need to check your setup. But, I will concede that after 2 years in - a point at which the DB grew into something massive, what with the massive Matrix rooms I was idling in - I started to notice slowdowns. The whole sliding sync proxy thing (with the new generation Element X clients) fixed everything.
You shouldn't be having 10-20 second syncs with a new deploy (and limiting the amount of massive rooms your users can join, depending on your hardware), might be something awry relating to your config. If you're absolutely certain it's not that, check out the sliding sync proxy until it gets merged into the main spec - it's great.
Vote's done, now - CHP cinched it. Good times.