cordlesslamp @ cordlesslamp @lemmy.today

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790

Joined

2 yr. ago

How'd you even start that conversation?

"We've been together for a month now and I think it's getting serious. Maybe it's time for us to take the next step, let's go get you a plunger 🪠"

How so? I thought they're great hunters?

Please take my critical thinking away, I don't like it very much anymore. Seem like it's the only thing keeping me from happiness lately.

Ok, you just struck a nerve here, that shit drive me crazy.

I'm a first time father of a 6 months old and I love him to death. I want to spend every waking moment with him so I take up as much "baby works" as possible since his birth. Bath, feeding, changing, play, exercise, going outside, doctor appointments, I do all those things.

And EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN TIME I got asked "where's the mother?", "Is she busy today so you're babysitting?", "Why you have to babysit today?"

HAVE TO? BITCH! This is my fuckin pleasure, I'm craving it, I'm addicted to this little poop machine. GTFO!

I want to yell at their face "THIS IS MY SON, I LOVE HIM, CAN'T I JUST BE WITH HIM!?"

My wife admitted that I do a much better job taking care of our baby. I am kind of "extra careful" type of person and I've been taking care of foster newborn kittens for a decade, and believe it or not but some skills does transfer over. Infants is basically function on pure instinct, and I'm damn good at anticipate it. I can accurately translate my son's cry 90% of the time. He has 3 distinct cries for hungry, sleep, and diaper change, then later another "i'm bored" cry.

My wife would often call me on the phone to have me listen to his crying and ask what'd he want.

I'm a damn good father and I'm proud to take care of him. I don't have to do it, I GET TO do it!

STOP with the Shrek AI pics already!!!

My penis can only get so erected.

Would Sudo do anything you said if you say his name first?

Imagine:

Sudo fetch

Sudo close the door

Sudo rm -rf /*

Sudo poop in the toilet

This graph alone conclusively proven global warming.

What else would you like to do? seize the means of production?

Why is Dave chappell is a POS? Did he do something awful recently?

I haven't watch anything from him since forever because I don't find his jokes funny, it's mostly him complaining or trash talk other people.

Then failed half way through, and needed another hour to "reverse changes".

Be patient with a baby/child and not getting frustration.. They may not always do what you want and it's important to understand that it's not on purpose, they don't know any better (literally).

And?

Those are supposed to be inanimate objects. You know how many toys a kid destroys out of their curiosity and experimenting?

AFAIK he loves his dog and it loves him back (that's a win in my book), and he hasn't done anything bad to a single living thing (beside messing with his sister, but who wasn't messing with their siblings when little?).

we're living in a world where "conspiracy theorist" is a career that makes billions.

Please, make more cat-related community!

Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to give them the internet?

I've always been skeptical about the reliability of those foldable tub. Seem like there's no reputable brands are making them, and I wonder why?

I would buy one asap if it comes with at least 2 years warranty.

You mean like farming gay people to extract the gay essent or something?

Jackpot.

I remember stopped watching when the Asgardian is on the verge of extinction. I love them so much that I couldn't watch their demise. So I still haven't finished the show till today.

I switched to Atlantis but it didn't hook me and I gave up somewhere mid season 2.

You have any ideas where I could stream both shows?

It's been over 2 decades since I watched SG-1. Please remind me of the plots with the Antarctica. I can't remember what they found under there. But I remember a huge battle to protect/destroy it?