Exactly 3° point of the requirements. Arch "the arch way" needs a lot of tinkering.
But that's just me. You might be right, maybe we should just encourage people to use debian, arch and Gentoo.
I've already mentioned this a couple of time this week, so I hope no one get bothered.
But I can't recommend Xerolinux enough (page).
I think it's what you may like. Rolling release, gorgeous KDE, a ready to use as is system.
I've been distro hopping for a while but this made me settled.
I recently hopped to XeroLinux (page). Arch based, KDE already "riced", it has a greeting app that lets you update with literally 1 mouse click, a number (1-4) and the enter key. It's really nice looking, it's fast and it's ready to use. The only thing I added for it to be perfect was bauh app center, to manage flatpaks, packages and appimages (even sanps if you want to).
Hear me out, grab ventoy, a decent USB drive (32-64 gb), download debian, kubuntu (maybe), fedora/mojara, any live arch derivative (endeavour, arco, artix. Stay away of Manjaro) and anything else you found appealing. Put all of them there and go nuts. At the end of the day, it's always night.
Following that logic we should rename lots of things, as any word can be use in a despicable way. I get your point. But again. It's just the name of an app.
This is the same as people not using Gimp because they never understood what really means and feel it's derogatory. Sometimes a word is just that, a word, and there's no profit from overthinking it. But in the same regard you can use the term "theme" if it makes you happier.
If that's a spare, I would try chimeraOS, turn it into a "steam machine". You would end up having access to arch at the same time.