I used to have a similar type of rage towards my parents and my existence. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fAsHGEB69P0 this Alan Watts video helped me move past it. Not saying it will definitely help you, but it's worth a shot.
My first email handle was poodlecruncher. It was referring to the harmonics shrieks my guitar made when I lightly touched the fret, and had the amp turned up. Got a few strange looks with that one.
I treat Chinese checkers with the same reverence and over-seriousness that chess players have towards chess. I'm not especially good at it, but I really enjoy it.