Practice. What helped me is to accept the reality of small talk. I used to hate it. I stopped being so invested in conversations. I still try to listen, and ask questions, and be interested, and all that. But it's OK to talk about the weather or mundane stuff like that, keep things light, walk away when it's natural, and forget about things. Not be so invested.
Appreciate and integrate the difference between small talk and deep philosophical conversation. They are both important and both have their place. Small talk comes naturally to extroverts. Introverts (me) have to work a little harder at it.
it’s especially difficult for me to create genuine friendships with women because I can’t help thinking of them as “possible future partners” (or some bullshit like that)
Folks may not like this, but if they're "possible future partners" then they're not genuine friendships. They're dating prospects. It's fine to be interested in dating women, but as soon as you have an inkling of interest, ask them out on a date. Say the word date. If they say no, respect that, and accept that they are not available as potential future partners. You want your choices to be respected. Respect the choices of others. Asking people out is hard. I know. So is being rejected. I know. That's life.
I would like to feel more comfortable with my singleness
Once you achieve that comfort, you will become more attractive. I think this is another matter of practice. Go do fun things by yourself! Things that you want to do! Eat out, go to the movies, travel. Not so much to meet other people but because you find fulfillment in those activities for their own sake.
while forging more non-romantic relationships with other people.
Make small talk with folks you are not attracted to. This takes a bit of the edge off and it helps with the practice. Their insight and opinions are just as valuable as those of the folks you're attracted to.
Interesting, thank you. You sound like you know your stuff and you had concluded that the Total thing was "very unpleasant" in the long term. I was into Soylent myself and actually tried to subsist mostly on it for about a year when life circumstances changed my path. I was wondering if I had inadvertently exploded my kidneys or whatever with my own personal Soylent experiment.
It sounds like Soylent is a little better than Total and I'm curious as to why
I use YouTube for this myself but I'm under the impression that Apple TV lets you do this too. The content is still hosted by them and I'm sure you can't easily download the content and do whatever with it, but I'm under the impression that what I've paid for (the one time per piece of content) is the rights to stream it from them forever. Content has not disappeared for me like it has with Netflix (and what finally drove me away from it).
The only thing I'm trying to get across is that there are other streaming models present beside the subscription one everyone is doing. And this model that I've highlighted is the one I prefer.
There are legit services where you can buy digital content and keep "forever." No subscriptions. That's how I prefer to consume my content. AFAIK I still have access to everything.
I was content and managed just fine with paper maps and directions before smartphones. When I got my first one it rendered those devices obsolete for me.
I hear ya. I too was a late cell and smart- phone adopter.
If I couldn't use them anymore I would be annoyed at first. But I would adjust and yes, would certainly lead a fulfilling life regardless.
I myself am in between both extremes. Here are some ways I remain old school even though I've bought into the smartphone era:
I remain in a real sense anti-app and keep them to a minimum on my phone. I keep their permissions as locked down as I can and I review every update pretty extensively. It's ridiculous how everyone and their brother wants me to install their app. No thank you. I'm quite content getting up to adjust the thermostat and don't need a fully automated smart home.
If I'm socializing with someone they get my full attention. If I need to look something up, respond to a text, etc I excuse myself.
When I'm out and about I'm present in my environment. "Smartphone zombie" behavior is foreign to me.
I take full advantage of the digital well being and bedtime features of my phone. I set timers for my addicting apps.
Oh, when I do drive I am hands off with my phone. If I really do need to use it then I pull over.
If you don't find value in smartphones I can respect that
You'd have to pry my own from my cold, dead hands. I have a map of the entire world (mostly) in my pocket! That in itself I find invaluable. I use Google Maps all the time. To find places and to navigate to them. On foot, public transit, and car. Here and in other countries.
Sure, I used to manage before Maps was a thing but do I ever want to go back? Nope.
That is one killer feature for me
And yeah I definitely see how life changed for the worse because of them. I actively moderate my own behavior.
Practice. What helped me is to accept the reality of small talk. I used to hate it. I stopped being so invested in conversations. I still try to listen, and ask questions, and be interested, and all that. But it's OK to talk about the weather or mundane stuff like that, keep things light, walk away when it's natural, and forget about things. Not be so invested.
Appreciate and integrate the difference between small talk and deep philosophical conversation. They are both important and both have their place. Small talk comes naturally to extroverts. Introverts (me) have to work a little harder at it.
Folks may not like this, but if they're "possible future partners" then they're not genuine friendships. They're dating prospects. It's fine to be interested in dating women, but as soon as you have an inkling of interest, ask them out on a date. Say the word date. If they say no, respect that, and accept that they are not available as potential future partners. You want your choices to be respected. Respect the choices of others. Asking people out is hard. I know. So is being rejected. I know. That's life.
Once you achieve that comfort, you will become more attractive. I think this is another matter of practice. Go do fun things by yourself! Things that you want to do! Eat out, go to the movies, travel. Not so much to meet other people but because you find fulfillment in those activities for their own sake.
Make small talk with folks you are not attracted to. This takes a bit of the edge off and it helps with the practice. Their insight and opinions are just as valuable as those of the folks you're attracted to.