Theres a decent web frontend for YT Music called beatbump that should work in the browser. That might hold you over until you can figure something out.
These comments are wild and mostly sexist as fuck.
If you have kids and you give them complete unfettered access to the web I'm sure they have seen more than a boob. If that bothers you perhaps try being a parent. Maybe getting involved with your child's online activity. Maybe don't use the Internet as a fucking babysitter.
You can use the character without infringing the trademark. Part of the reason they scatter the hidden Mickey shape everywhere is because that's part of the branding.
A good example of using the character without infringing trademark is the "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey" movie.
I've had this conversation with lots of first time Linux users. They think that Kali is the most hardcore hacker OS and that's what they need to run for a introduction to security course.
That's all anecdotal. Everything in your list I can do without a car. Especially take a walk. I literally just walk out the front door.