ameancow @ ameancow @lemmy.world

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1 yr. ago

Yah I love how places like Lemmy are packed to overflowing with "radical leftists" who scream murder at liberals and moderates and how broadly appealing progressive policies aren't going far enough to address [issue X].

Guys, we're getting literally murdered out there, figuratively and literally. If there was ever a time to start building larger coalitions, it's now. No, you're not getting everything you want. No, we're not having a revolution, we don't have the military. Yes, you will have to compromise. And if you hate that word because you think it means walking alongside someone you despise...

Tough shit.

Pick an issue, gather allies, overwhelm it, then repeat for the NEXT issue and realize nobody is coming, you may not see a better world in your lifetime, your immediate sense of resignation at this fact is manufactured. Get your shit together. Your personal problems are clouding your thinking.

They're winning because they don't recoil in horror at the idea of working towards mid-way goals or making deals they find distasteful, that's how they pushed the overton window off the fucking map.

But yeah, lets continue to fuss over if our flags represent enough people and if [popular content creator] said the word "retard" once, while our administration builds camps and readies for war for funsies.

edit: just because I'm ready to soak up hate on this, you all also need to make real friends. You don't build movements in discord, not ones that have impact at least. You are medicating your loneliness while the world burns outside. Get out and push through the discomfort of your introversion, your ADHD, your ASD, your sexual identity insecurity, your looks or your accent or WHATEVER it is that you think is keeping you from being social and building community. We lost because we're isolated. Online groups don't count. Don't reply to me, go outside.

Nothing I said is to even suggest that you shouldn't talk about your passions, just that you can temper it and gain the emotional intelligence in how to make it engaging for others, but I do hope you continue to take care of yourself and seek the happiness you deserve.

edit: i so love how people are literally addicted to the idea that they can't change or be helped. We have truly given up as a species.

I don't know what kind of care and support you're getting, but if you have an ADHD diagnosis, I hope you're aware that you still have agency and can still make major improvements to your life, it's just harder than it is for others. Depending on the severity of the symptoms. You don't just "grow out of it" normally, you DO have to make deliberate effort to improve the quality of your life if you want that, and that's one of the major differences between having ADHD and people who don't, the need to understand in greater detail how the brain works so you know how to manage it.

I changed my upvote to a little cute "down" arrow when I got to the end of your short but unhinged comment. Way to turn "informative" into "needlessly spiteful for no good reason." You could have ended the comment with a link to the episode even.

Lemmy is worse than reddit in terms of unhinged and hateful replies to benign, good-faith but ignorant comments. I don't know how shut-in the users here are but everyone is itching to rip someone's throat out over imagined slights or the desperate, performative need to look better than someone else who doesn't know something.

Intimately familiar, that's where this kind of knowledge of how brains works comes from, this is process that most people who don't have ADHD go through naturally in the course of life, ADHD and ASD can make it so you end up stunted slightly and never develop the tools naturally for change and growth.

Step 1. Be a young male with a terrible home life and only male friends, learn to communicate only through irony and sarcasm, preserve a culture of condemning or making fun of any genuine expressions of emotion or empathy from others because it's "cringe."

Step 2. Have ONE date in your teens in high-school with another teen who has no idea what she's doing either, have it end badly as most teen relationships do.

Step 3. Use that experience to color your entire world-view for the rest of your life and start consuming manosphere content to relieve yourself of the discomfort of remembering how terrible that one romantic experience went. "It's not you, it's her!" should be echoing in your head every day.

Step 4. Really internalize other people's ideas, thoughts and experiences as long as it validates what you're feeling. Distance yourself from women even further, convince yourself they have nothing to offer you and are less-than-human so you have nothing you can learn from a "female."

Step 5. Don't forget to hate yourself most of all, wallow in your virginity like it's your entire sense of self, think about sex constantly and hate yourself for it, develop a crushing porn habit that dulls your ability to feel pleasure from daily life. Self-medicate with games, escapism and drugs and alcohol. Ruminate on your depressive thoughts until you've picked your emotions raw like a scab that won't heal.

Step 6. Make your disgust for women part of your entire identity, develop political views that also validate these feelings, avoid people in your life different from yourself lest they remind you that there are alternative perspectives in the world, only your own experiences and your own misery matters. Scowl in disgust when you see an attractive woman with a man, have dark, violent fantasies about having power, control, and bad things happening to people who aren't you. Over-correct your sense of masculinity to an absurd degree, avoid the color pink, don't touch your own ass in the shower, sneer in disgust at any attempt by others to reach you and talk about life or offer advice, they're just NPC's and are brainwashed by liberal media! None of this is real! We're in The Matrix people!!

Step 7. A beautiful, submissive woman who fits all your ideals will now approach you and beg you to marry her. You will live happily ever after.

It works 100% of the time.

Problem is, the same girl who finds it attractive will find it annoying in a week or two, and all of a sudden that thing she liked makes me a jerk.

If you can only talk about one thing with any level of passion, yeah people are gonna get bored.

I think a lot of younger folk online really misconstrue what it means to "get hobbies" or "just put yourself out there" and other tired cliches.

It doesn't mean having X hobby and just standing there around people is going to change how women look at you. It means you have to train your OWN brain to be more comfortable expressing yourself and finding new ways to feel about your situation or interests.

Basically, everyone whines endlessly how they wish they were someone else, but you can literally change who you are on a fundamental level by changing your environment enough and forcing yourself to feel new things. Brains just do that. But people resist the moment they feel something starting to change inside them and recoil as your ego tries to preserve itself. Then they make up reasons why they didn't commit to change and why they can't let go of their old-self.

That's a lotta Henry Cavill in your life, are you sure you're not Henry Cavill?

Apparently we're also going to mix it with deeply toxic envy of celebrities for seasoning.

Imagine how happy the world would be if people suddenly stopped wishing they were someone else and just realized that they only get one fucking chance to live life and every moment you spend wishing you were someone else is just a massive fucking disservice to yourself and people in your life.

I think a big problem is we aren't really sure what we're looking for in social media. We see things that give us satisfying dopamine boosts and want more of it, but also feel the hollowness of it. It's exactly like eating processed carbs when you're starving. You end up addicted with cravings for more even as the stuff you're consuming makes you sick.

I was there for the start of it all, I've seen the space evolve over the decades. I was out in the pioneering days championing free discussion and moderating huge communities. I love reading someone debating an idiot more than anyone arguably, I get the same sense of satisfaction seeing groups connect and share great ideas and jokes.

But I also know the pleasure gained from that kind of community is as contextual as it is fleeting. We are not the same people we were when we first read some chain-post replying in stupid memes until it got so absurd we're laughing so hard we can't breath and we're waking up our housemates. We're just not "that people" anymore. Even the younger people now are living in a different time, we are so desensitized to imagery and text on a screen that it won't ever have the same impact on us, but it doesn't stop us from looking everywhere for a hit of the ol' drug.

It's part of why I cut my social media entirely, there's nobody I care enough about and can't just talk to or call that would make me want to endure the endless stream of people I barely know or long-lost coworkers and friends hitting me up to buy a ticket to a "conference" or try to get me to sell energy bars or essential oils.

They don't have consistent values at all. We keep interacting with them in terms of pointing out their hypocrisy or inconsistent messages, but they literally do not care about what they said yesterday. They are simple, linear minds who only work in terms of what they're feeling right now and I think if we did better to treat them that way and remember we're not winning intellectual arguments with them, we would make actual progress in changing them.

They scream about "free speech" when they feel their words are unpopular and being booed. They care about life and abortions when it's not their daughter. They cheer on cops who shoot innocent black kids, but would go firebomb the local station if a cop came into their house and shot their dog.

We seriously, absolutely HAVE to digest this so we can collectively start forming new tactics to manipulate them into making better outcomes for all of us.

Because whatever else happens, even if we win back everything tomorrow, we will continue to share a world with them as our neighbors and the people who... who... okay I guess contractors and plumbers? Probably a few truck mechanics too, but point remains, they exist all around us, and if we're really going to be better than them, we have to be like parents who subtle change the way a toddler feels without yelling at them and making them feel mad or put out.

Our country is riddled with ancient old sacks of shit who serve as sheriffs until they die. It's a whole thing. Among our many, many problems with police in America.

I... I don't know how to pronounce the line through the word D:

I agree. But don't really care if people use it, I just cannot stand when people wave it around like a new teddy bear that gives them a smug sense of superiority for... checks notes ...using a product that someone is selling to let stupid people do easy things.

None of the kids you're talking to on this site have friends, much less play actual D&D, they probably just read the manuals and imagine running campaigns based on how they interact with other loners online.

As a game, it's a purely social experience that even the rules are far less important than the narratives and shared storytelling experience, most adults know this and it's why they play these kinds of games, not to "win" or be some champion of self-expression.

I am ranting about it because there is a wild disconnect between the kinds of people who use sites like this and reality. I don't think a lot of people who comment about things online have healthy, balanced lives. I mean, I know I don't, but I also know that many others have totally different kinds of issues that pulls them into the comment sections of sites like Lemmy or Reddit.

Sorry my comment didn't have Subway Surfers playing in the corner with a popular streamer reacting to it so you could actually read it and understand it.

I want to be able to say what In think and read what others have to say even if it hurts my feelings / views.

I promise you, after two days moderating an actual large discussion forum, you will implement sweeping rules about who can say what about who. The only places people enjoy chatting anymore are places that are moderated.

We can complain about youtube and facebook taking down messages critical of power or corporations, but places like Lemmy are managed by people. It's not censorship, it's going into someone's house and abiding by their rules. It's a whole other topic if what you want to read/say is popular enough that you can find someone's "house" that centers around that topic and is also large enough to have meaningful interactions.

And if you're looking for debate, that shit is dead.

The fact that every community is now insular and bubbled echo-chambers is a result of human tendencies, we gave people total freedom on the internet and instead of using it to learn more and include more people in more conversations, our instincts turned the place into a curdled honeycomb of walled-off communities which were ripe for the plucking by corporate interests.

I'm not impressed by today's AI and I also fully understand that the tech is going to completely upend society and will eventually be a part of our picture of utopia, or our picture of actual hell on Earth.

The people who are screaming it's wild wonders and benefits are at least as closed-minded as the people who think we're going to be able to put the toothpaste back in the tube. The actual direction this tech moves is going to be far more like the discovery of radio, in that at the time of it's discovery and early implementation, the people then had no idea the implications down the road and we're at the same point. Except the big difference and why this is contentious is that radio was far less dangerous to society broadly.

Radio was a fundamental force that always existed around us, we learned to use it the way our ancestors used rivers and waters to move goods and people. AI is completely human-made and doesn't exist without human engineering, so it's not neutral, it's a tool shaped by man to do whatever a man wants with it.