altphoto @ altphoto @lemmy.today

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3 mo. ago

Bling bling!

Oh hey guys! I'm WFH today!
Sorry Bob, I forgot it was a teams meeting!
No worries Bob, you mind zooming in to a single screen?
Oh you're seeing both of my screens in a tiny ass piece of your own screen with barely legible pixelated text that a fucking dumbass at Microsoft agreed to make into a default parameter for screen sharing during a meeting using a software they developed and functions poorly for anything?
Yes Bob, exactly. OK I can read the first 10 letters. You mind scrolling a few more letters slowly so I can read what the DFMEA is about?

Its technically an SFMEA as Bob mentioned.
Oh, what's an SFMEA? I'm only familiar with a DFMEA...
Oh an SFMEA is just like a DFMEA, but for safety.
Oooo! Okay. That's exciting. Hey thanks for scrolling! Yeah this design again! I don't known why they won't approve my ECR so we can ECO a safety cover for the switch. You wouldn't want someone to accidentally bump this thing while getting up from their seat. In retrospect its not a good idea to put it next to the knee rest.

OK Bob, I got it in full screen, can you see more than 3 excel rows now?
Yup, its great! The new full screen which is actually just 75% of the screen is great for effective communication! But I wish Microsoft would give us larger squares with funny looking people icons. So important for communication to take up most of the screen with useless piece of shit dumbass icons and controls.
Agreed Bob!

Meanwhile at another 787:

Hey Bob, I just put into full power but engine one turned off.
Dumbass! Didn't you go to the online training?
What training?
The one about the cut off of switch! Turn that shit back on!!! Here's the full power button!

...folks, your captain speeching... We had some turbulence but we'll be arriving at Laconia International airport in approximately 4 hrs. For now sit back and enjoy the ride!

Alright Bob send it!
Full power in 3,2,1! Go!
Oh, Bob, its not going!
Yeah I don't understand...
Oh dude, that's the new cut off that Bob designed!
Oh man, that's embarrassing.
Don't worry, it can happen to anyone flying this airplane.
OK, we'll just turn these back on and hopefully next time we won't accidentally turn them off again.
Sorry Bob, but that's a single chance sort of mistak....... Silence.....

Boeing's Bob: so anyway, whereby gathered here to review this. DFMEA. The failure mode in question is the fuel cut off actuation at low altitude. The effect is lost aircraft.

Bob: you mean dead people?

Bob: OK we know where the aircraft is. Yes dead people. We'll change the occurrence to 1 since we've had one occurrence. And the administrative control "training" was not effective with severity of 5 since the customers are pissed.

Bob: well they were pissed, some. Most were scared shitless don't you think?

Bob: look Bob, we agreed on a scale of 1 thru 5. Maybe we should review the scale.

Bob: oh hey guys, sorry I'm late. Oh this design again. Yeah we should probably have some sort of inhibit so the shut off keeps the engines on if there's not enough altitude.

Bob: yeah that's a good idea. Let's put that in the action items. Can you update the rail while I man the dfmea?

Bob: isn't this technically an SFMEA? OK, I'll start an ECR first thing Monday.

Dullness continues....

Meanwhile at some other random 787max3000.....OK Bob, punch it!...
We're giving it all she's got in 3,2,1.
Dude! Didn't you have the training?
Bob, what training? The fuel pump training Bob!
No, why.
That's the fuel cut off switch Bob! What does it do if I flip it?
I don't known! It just turns off the fuel I guess Okay where's the max power button on this thing Bob?
Don't know, I usually let Bob do it. Oh here it is!

Wink wink...wink is a worthless term like what race is this dog?...shiatsu? Husky? Bulldog? Chihuahua?

In scientific terms all dogs are Canis if they can fuck and make other dog....now replace Canis with human and call that a species within a genus. Realize that the Dutch and the Japanese can have babies if they just fuck for once. Dutch, Japanese, Mexican etc, those are nationalities and are all meaningless scientifically and biologically. "Hispanic" another bullshit term like African American or people of color.

I would prefer to be called by my name, my pronouns or at least "that guy over there". There's a reason I migrated to this country. This country offered "better". So all you gotta do is be honest and open about it...

"Hello Americans, we, the Republican party cheated to gain control of this land. We would like it to be populated only by pasty looking racists. Everyone with melanin should leave now. Not you Mr president, that's Melania, not melanin. Oh that? That's melanoma, trust us you're good. No, no, the melanoma is bad, but you can stay, oh your orangeness."

Like that, nobody would want to visit... Just like now! Good job!

Looking forward to 2078 when we'll be forced to show our kids how to copulate for procreation and what to use the tools of procreation for personal and group recreation.

Anyway kids, you then grab it and you do this back and forth motion on it. Yes billy, just like the jiggler dumbbell commercial!

Why does the truck look like a family sized casket?

This is kind of old news from like 10 years ago.

Oh sure, we could have sponsorship challenges! Gamify water harvesting!

Make large reservoirs to catch all the water! This will cause it to never rain again. Just like setting up flood alarms. If it does ever rain you'll catch water.

Probably cheated some guys out of their pikachu cards or something like that.

We have government cheese! Why not.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Government_cheese

A lot of those agents are brown. They have managed to fight brown with brown.

So will how did Ghislaine accidentally die?
Og English is a little difficult.

So how did Ghislaine will accidentally die?

So how will Ghislaine accidentally die did?

Real nude mathbabes! T^2

As someone else mentioned:

Helion Energy: Located in Everett, Helion is developing a magneto-inertial fusion technology and has announced plans for the world's first fusion power plant in Washington State. They have also secured a significant investment and a power purchase agreement with Microsoft for electricity from their fusion plant.

Zap Energy: Also based in Everett, Zap Energy is focusing on developing affordable, compact, and scalable fusion energy technology. They are working towards a commercially viable fusion energy solution and have received visits from state leaders to witness their progress.

Avalanche Energy: Avalanche is planning a facility in Eastern Washington for commercial-scale testing of radioactive fusion technologies, according to GeekWire.

Let's add solar!.... People never ask questions at night when they're sleeping. Sounds pretty ideal to me.

Did the machine test its first human drug yet?

Yes! LSD!....didn't work.

Well Dr. Chich what will we try next?

We? Or the machine?

Hold on 3P0...you gotta little piece of human stuff stuck on your right end effector clamp top hinge pin. There, all good! Continue!

Finally a solution for ED that works without side effects!

Nah! Other countries pay that!

Nah..

Clementine

Heidi