Where do you go when you have no one to talk to?
I understand. It is fucking hard. And it's easy to dish out advice on the internet but you're the one dealing with all of this. I'm pretty sure it's not an equal playing field either because some people make it look easy, or have luck, or just start from more privileged positions where they don't have to deal with the same trials and tribulations.
The way you described things in your previous post, the dating or just flirting scene honestly sounds like a nightmare these days. People offering to pay you for your company? Sounds like it's almost a normalised thing at the moment but it's actually creepy. And I'm making an assumption here based on knowing how the world works but I'm guessing that this has been your experience since you were a teenager.
What I'm trying to say is that the world failed you and your generation. You've been surrounded by predators and manipulative people and you've been led to believe that this is just normal and how life is. Stop me if I'm wrong. Maybe that is life now but it shouldn't be. And you shouldn't base your self worth on predators and pick up artists and people that evaluate you based on things like body count.
So maybe, you should take a break from relationships with other people for a little while to work on your relationship with yourself. And maybe rethink and reassess what life has taught you about others and yourself.
I definitely hear you, in fact I ended up kinda shutting myself off for years just to avoid that pain. But maybe one has to come first. Maybe if your self worth was higher, it wouldn't be so easy to be hurt by people. People that probably didn't deserve your company in the first place.
I did involve myself I guess in situations where things can go wrong but I never wanted that.
We live and we learn. There's no going back and doing things differently (although I fkn wish there was), the only direction is forward. And the best that we can do is learn and grow and maybe do things differently in the future.
Not to sound too much like a fortune cookie though lol. The truth is that I suck at life myself, so I'm not sure if I'm even qualified to be giving this kind of advice. But hopefully there's something in here that helps.
One thing that I do know is that there's no magic words that you're going to hear that will make the current fresh pain that you're feeling go away. That'll only happen with time. So hang in there, and be kind to yourself. We're all just making it up as we go along.
I just lost something so good in my life because I made a big mistake
I saw your previous post and I just want to say, as an internet stranger that only knows what I've read, I think that you did nothing wrong and I hope that you reach the point where you can see that and believe it for yourself. I'll be fair and say that at most, you both fucked up. But that's just in the interest of fairness towards people I don't actually know. I don't believe it though. In fact, the way it went down, it just proves that you had good reason to not be 100% truthful at the start. And I don't believe the results would've been any different anyway. The only thing that I agree with that person about is that you need to believe in your own self worth.
As for your question, let me know if you get a good answer lol. At least being able to get things off your chest on an anonymous platform and hopefully get helpful advice is the next best thing.
Game of Thrones. To me it just came across as torture porn. Just a series of awful things happening to people from one scene to the next. The schtick about different kingdoms and families vying for the throne or whatever was just the backdrop and context to rape, abuse and murder, which was the star of the show.
I love fantasy but that show didn't do it for me in the slightest. Not interested in checking out any of that guy's books either.
Haha same here. I'm around 5'6 or 5'7 and I find depending on make, I'm either size 11 or 12 shoes. Also have pretty big hands (or long fingers at least). I've always thought of my hands and feet as big puppy paws that I never grew into lmao.
This from the same people who are apparently so worried about loneliness in men.
Either either or either, depending on maybe the context or the phonetics of words used. Kinda like how you say the or the depending on if the next word starts with a vowel or not.
More anecdotal stuff but from lurking in autism spaces I've picked up that the feeling 'younger' or like a child compared to your peers thing is also felt by a lot of autistic people.
Personally, I'm starting to think that it's just one of the ways that our brains deal with feeling like an 'other' compared to general society. When it's clear to you that your mind just isn't working in the same way, certain things just don't come as easily to you and that something is definitely 'wrong', I guess it makes sense that our minds would register that as also being 'lesser' or not as developed.
I know that my whole life before I started asking certain questions, I've always felt like I'm still a child in the company of men in particular. That's how my brain registered my particular brand of 'otherness' my whole life. Which might indicate some sort of internalized misogyny or something. But I'm starting to think that feeling like a child or immature in some way is probably an almost universal thing that people who don't fit in with everyone else feel at some point.
Haha hell yeah, that's more like it. I've never played charades either though lol. So not sure how much help I'll be there.
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I kinda both like and dislike that something as arbitrary as long hair and no beard can cause this kind of debate. In the '80s, the assumption probably would've just been that they're a fan of hair metal lol.
I like it because it means that it's a lot easier to bend gender norms (and be seen as bending gender norms) than I thought and it also just proves how full of shit people are when they claim they "can tell" and that at least half of their perception of the world is dictated by their culture.
I dislike it for the same reasons though. Because it means that this world is still a lot more puritanical and prone to pearl clutching than I thought. It means that boys with long hair who don't like sports are going to be getting beaten up and bullied for being 'gay' or whatever. It means that sightly butch women won't be able to use public bathrooms without judgmental, psychotic people wanting to make that woman's genitals their own business. It means that I'm living in a world with people who still think in terms of long hair = girl, who haven't ever expanded their minds or considered that their own cultural norms don't apply to everyone in the slightest.
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Do you still use Facebook?
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Wish I didn't have to but in my country pretty much everyone still uses it. So if I want to keep in touch with people that I know irl or if I want to keep an eye open for gigs to go watch or whatever events that I might want to go to, I have to keep it around.
Well for someone that cares so much about your feelings of self worth, he sure seems to be putting you through a hard time here. Although also, I don't really know anyone in this situation and here on the internet we'll always arrive with our pitchforks out. So I hope your assessment of the situation is right.
Red pill ideology is basically 'manosphere' shit. Where they talk about "high value women" that can carry their babies and gender roles and shit. Like Joe Rogan and Jordan Peterson and shit.
Your whole story makes me kinda sad or at the very least uneasy, if I'm being honest. I'm guessing you're pretty young, like gen Z. And if things are like this in general now for people growing up online, I dunno. I feel bad that you've grown up this way and this is your experience of men and relationships and shit. Although I guess I already saw signs that things were partly this way when I was younger too, going by what I heard from certain people I used to talk to.
This guy sounds insecure and kinda mean if I'm being honest. And from my perspective, the obsession with body count gives me suspicions of red pill ideology. I hope that you eventually meet someone that doesn't even ask questions like that.
Funny, but I for one think that this place could do with more silly and fun questions to beat the boredom and / or break the ice for new users. It'll probably get more engagement than 5 or so hyper specific questions a day at least. But to answer your question, I didn't see the need for both a TV and an air hockey table.
Sounds like I'm going to have to get hold of this book. Both Superman and Lois are two of my all time favourites and this sounds great. I'm throw in another random fact. Pretty sure he only got his ability to fly during the running of the Fleischer cartoons. Originally he could "leap tall buildings in a single bound". Then somewhere along the line in the cartoons, they just found it more convenient if he could actually fly to take on some threats.
And this one even has a little homophobia sprinkled in.
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Just my laptop (with a second external monitor) that is my TV, console and general purpose computer in one.
Not quite as bad as 20 in 2 days but basically any time I get a phone call, it's probably safe to say that it's someone trying to sell me something. It especially sucks when you've been handing out your CV and applying for jobs and shit, so you have to answer calls from unknown numbers. But if it's anyone that I actually know, they'll use WhatsApp.
Yeah, every time I see people saying that they like the amount of users now just makes me think "hmmm must be nice that all of your particular niches and tastes are accounted for". It's pretty silly to be so anti growth for this place anyway. Even on Reddit, you literally have a choice to take part in the bigger 'default' subs or find a smaller one if that suits you. And I like choice.
This place still has a long way to go IMO. I'm starting to resort to lurking chat / ask style communities more just for something to do around here and even there, it's not quite as engaging or active as it should be. As a humble user, sometimes I don't have something particular in mind that I want to see. Sometimes I just want to bed rot and scroll and read people's stories and discussions, maybe give my two cents if I feel so inclined. And there isn't really that here yet because once you've checked AskLemmy or whatever, you've already seen 90% of the content for the next week.
Nah don't worry about that. Everyone is entitled to a bit of wallowing after heart break lol. Besides, we all get hurt but yours is fresh and real and not just a bad memory yet. And it's not a competition either, your feelings are just as valid as anyone else's. I just hope that being able to talk it out at least helped ease the pressure a little bit.
And so much for my suggestion about taking a break lol. I'm sorry that this happened to you. Life fucking sucks lol. I'm all out of fortune cookies now but I know that love fucking hurts, so I understand your pain.