Wes4Humanity @ Wes4Humanity @lemm.ee

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1 yr. ago

Nailed it

I'm a mental health clinician.

You asked why people reject people with NPD... I tried to explain it. Your response was even more like what you'd expect from someone with NPD than your post was btw. You could have been curious, I am after all, just an internet stranger; who gives a shit what I think? But you went hard on the defensiveness.

You aren't born with NPD. It's a defense mechanism against trauma you went through when you were younger. So I am really truly very sorry you went through whatever you went through.

I'm glad you have a therapist, and I hope they are a good fit for you to really feel comfortable opening up about your childhood, and how that might have affected you.

Being able to recognize that SOMETHING is wrong is not the same as truly comprehending WHAT is wrong. I worded my original statement poorly, sorry about that. But that hurt, when you think that something is wrong with you, is the reason most people with NPD can't face it, not even to fix it. To fix it a person needs to be able to not just think about it, but really dig into it. A full embrace of and deep dive into that thing you say hurts just to think about. Most people can't bring themselves to even think about it, which is why they get so defensive if you get anywhere near it, on purpose or not. Good on you for facing it.

And I know there's no cure, but with a lot of work there are work arounds you can train into your brain. I really do hope we find a cure someday. For all personality disorders. They are truly horrible afflictions.

One of the hardest parts is that it's a non-stop 24/7 battle you didn't sign up for and never ends and ALWAYS feels completely unfair (this is why people with NPD NEED professional help with it). NPD might not define you, but in order to beat it you will have to be defined by your fight against it... You'll need to be "spacefox3 the narcissist who's not going to let it win today" everyday. And we both know you can do it.

They'd notice if he had Trump and all his goons disappeared to a black site... You know, as an official act... Against terrorism and traitors even

They only have "good" policy when they know it'll fail.

That sounds incorrect. Maybe they could recognize their behaviors if you spelled it out for them and put it in a context that in no way indicated you were trying to get them to admit something about themselves... but they're unlikely to believe there's actually something wrong with them that they need to work to fix.

That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.

The Narcissist's Prayer (by Dayna Craig)

All very true... But we do have to DO the work, and unfortunately NPD builds in defenses against even recognizing the issue, let alone doing the work.

They asked why people are so hateful towards people with NPD... I tried to explain it. People with NPD usually hurt everyone around them, and then SEEMINGLY refuse to recognize the hurt they've caused or that they themselves have the problem/are the problem. Which is why people feel so strongly against them.

Experience... And perhaps a little over zealous. I was trying to convey that it's not the person with NPDs fault, but I think it came across as hopeless.

Here's a quick grab from a Google search:

Targeting the Defenses That Sustain Narcissism

"Treating narcissism can be complex and multi-faceted. That’s because many of the hallmark behaviors of narcissism are the very ones that create enormous barriers to change.

Creating a therapeutic alliance in the face of defensiveness, denial, and a lack of self-awareness can sometimes feel like a hopeless cause. It can also seem uniquely challenging to execute even the gentlest intervention without activating the client’s defenses."

They asked why people are so hateful towards people with NPD, and I tried to explain it as simply as I could. With experienced, professional help, there's hope for people with NPD... But the disease itself is resistant to treatment, and almost any lay person trying to help is likely going to burn out fast.

This has simply been my experience. It doesn't sit quite right with me. I want there to be a fix. I've just never seen it work.

Have you applied for unemployment yet? They'll usually back pay to when you were laid off too if you get through all the red tape... Might be a state by state thing idk

Have you ever thought about talking to a therapist about the magic aura thing? There might be something you don't realize that they could help you figure out.

Could you get a job of any kind and reduce your living standard for a little while to match what you make? This is a shitty answer, and really should only ever apply to the 1%... But sadly we do live in a capitalist hellscape... Good luck

Oof... This is a tough one. First, I'll point out that this post is EXACTLY what I'd expect from a narcissist. Woe is me, zero accountability. Assuming you've actually been diagnosed by a psychiatric Dr, they didn't diagnosed you with NPD on a whim. You were diagnosed with NPD after you did something, or more likely after a lot of times doing harmful things, and finally taking some initiative to figure out what's wrong with you. Maybe friends or family had to really push you towards getting help. Maybe your just young enough that seeking mental health help is normalized, so you were able to go for it.

"As someone who has NPD I haven't abused or manipulated anyone ever." -As someone with NPD you wouldn't be able to recognize if you had ever done these things. This entire post is pretty manipulative actually.

NPD is a very tragic illness. One of the worst parts imo is that, almost always, one of the symptoms is the person not being able to truly recognize their own disorder. This can be dangerous, and also infuriating. A person's entire life can fall apart around them, and they are incapable of doing the self reflection necessary to understand why, let alone do the work to fix the problem. People will spend years trying to "save" a loved one, to get that person to recognize that it's THEM who is the problem and needs to do the work, just to get to the exact same spot a decade later because that person CAN NOT recognize it. Recognizing there is a problem is the first step towards fixing yourself. Since NPD usually precludes the person from being able to recognize the problem in themselves, it becomes impossible for them to save/fix themselves. It's truly insidious.

All those things you listed would make you a bad person if you didn't try to correct them. And maybe you actually are. I certainly hope so.

Edit to add: asking someone with NPD to be able to self reflect and do the work to change, is like asking a paraplegic to run a marathon. It might seem to others that the person is REFUSING, when in reality they literally cannot physically do so. However, unlike the paraplegic person, a person with NPD causes harm to everyone around them, and the only thing a healthy person can do is cut toxic people from their lives. It's not the person with NPDs fault (one of the other great tragedies is that it is almost always a result of shit parents) that they are toxic, but they are toxic none the less, and unable to stop it. I'm sorry you ended up this way, I truly hope you can let yourself be treated.

I immediately assumed the oligarchy (through US or Israel) had injected new life into the rebellion to stir shit up for their new never ending wars.

"The war is not meant to be won, it is meant to be continuous."

Thanks... What did this guy do? Did he get to unilaterally make this call? (Serious, I have no idea how France works).

"Democratic collapse nowadays isn’t a matter of abolishing elections and declaring oneself dictator, but rather stealthily hollowing out a democratic system so it’s harder and harder for the opposition to win. This strategy requires full control over the state and the bureaucracy: That means having the right staff in the right places who can use their power to erode democracy’s core functions."

The establishment Dems and Reps have been doing this for decades. Trump is just the last straw. He's walking away with the monster they created and he's probably going to let it off the leash.

The only question I have is whether the oligarchy wants him to do that. Imo they weren't ready for it last time. They built the monster for someone controllable like Clinton or Jeb!, and I think they were actually surprised when Trump won the first time. This time they made him a nice little play book, and they've had some time to learn how to at least keep him pointed in the right direction, if not controlled. They might be ready to release the monster they created. Everyone will blame Trump too, instead of the oligarchy... Bonus.

They'd need a solidly progressive platform... The individuals matter less than the goals... Leave guns and abortion on the table for later... Stick to all the things we mostly all agree on. Keep the messaging simple too... "Life sucks. It sucks because you don't have enough money...YOU deserve to be making more money for whatever you are doing. The corporations and billionaires are taking YOUR money, and we're going to take it back and give it to you"... Maybe follow up with a bunch of times rich people got more at everyone else's expense.

To be fair, Republicans don't go after them either... And the people who aren't Democrats always "make them lose", if everyone was a Democrat, they'd always win everything (okay, they'd probably still figure out a way to lose, but I hope you get my point)

Okay, but my point remains unchanged

Except quite a few voted last time and then not this time... So we know they do vote sometimes

Part of me thinks Bernie never really wanted to be president, I think he thinks he can do more good as a senior senator pushing the DNC left while trying to stop the right from whatever evil they're planning this week, and maybe he can, but so far that hasn't worked very well. If he and the squad broke ties with the DNC and started their own party, and were able to pull enough of the left off the couch and away from the DNC to make the DNC the "spoiler" that needed to "fall in line or else Trump wins" that would be the best imo