Waldelfe @ Waldelfe @feddit.org

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4 mo. ago

Well, according to her, university degrees are all worthless nowadays and "a masters is at a level a high school degree used to be at". She also told me my As were worthless because "everybody gets an A nowadays just for showing up to class".

While writing my master thesis my professor suddenly left the university. Noone ever really knew why and there was no official statement other than a short sentence on the website that Prof. XYZ has left the department. My master thesis was on hold while I had to find a new professor. My mother, who has always accused me of being lazy and lying, insisted that it was all a lie. When I pointed out the news on the university website, she said: "I don't know how you hacked the website and got it to display your lies, but I'm not falling for your deceit." I am not a computer science major, I studied linguistics.

I found the general culture on reddit pretty discouraging, too. You post an answer to a question and all the contrarians flock to it, twist your words or just sift through your profile in order to find a gotcha. "Haha, you wrote X but three years ago on subreddit Y you mentioned you're Z, so that means you can't possibly know anything about X!" Don't get me wrong, sometimes it's necessary in order to point out trolls and liars, but I often found it exaggerated. It made me not want to participate in discussions. Not to mention attacking people for their grammar and spelling when a large part of the platform doesn't speak English as their mother language.

Would it be that hard to revive them? If enough people are fleeing Reddit, these platforms could be built again.

That's why I started writing a diary. On the same day I can still remember very well how things happened, but weeks or moth later I might not. So I write a diary every evening with everything that happened.

I'm German and I worked in an office with managers and engineers who had a background in construction or related jobs. There is a very strong attitude of "We didn't need that bullshit back when I was an apprentice." There is a lot of scoffing at people who wear saftey gear and follow the rules. Corners are being cut and safety rules ignored because "we didn't need all that bullshit back then and losing a finger or two is just part of the job".

Some German news articles mention that the company in charge of the project had a bad track record when it comes to following safety regulations and the very same construction site had to be stopped before due to broken bolts in the bridge.

Adrian Paul in The Highlander TV Series.

The University where I studied switched from Linux to Windows because to many people complained that it was "too hard". Even the computers in the library that were just for searching books aka 90% of the time just using the browser were switched from Linux to Windows because the students complained. I now work in a job where most of our customers are public institutions and you won't even get our IT department to let go of decade old outdated software. Too many old people who will throw a hissy fit if anything suddenly looks different from what they've been used to for 30 years.

My contract also won't be renewed. My bosses reason that he explicitly told me is: I don't fit in because I ask too many questions like "Why don't we use better alternatives for X software." We do "project planning" with email-chains and Excel sheets. No, we can't have any project planning tools, because this is what the 60-year old colleagues have been doing since their first day 43 years ago. If it was good enough for them back then it's good enough for you now. That's just how we do it here, since you can't get used to it we're letting you go. Etc pp, you get the idea. And the people in the IT department are the same! Never change a running system, it's worked for 40 years now, no need to try something new.

There's just no way you'll get a public institution to switch to open source. Everybody over 50 will scream bloody murder about having to change how they work and it'll be changed back in no time.

Just keep telling her she's awesome. Don't focus on the legs, just tell her all the things you love about her. And if she directly asks you about them, don't make it a big deal. Just say "I don't care, you're beautiful." For me the best thing my husband did was to counter the constant onslaught of beauty standards over media by telling me every day what he loves about me and how cool he thinks I am.

Don't worry, they'll have forgotten all about it by Friday.

I've been abused (physically and mentally) by my parents and bullied at school. I can obviously only talk about myself, but maybe my experience helps you.

Understanding, that those people will never care or feel guilt, is hard. Especially when you were abused as a child and hoped for a happy end. Actively trying to get over it also didn't work very well for me. For me the best thing to do was focus on other things: find friends, find hobbies, do whatever you always wanted to do (I started wearing clothes I was forbidden to wear and practicing hobbies that were ridiculed).

Just fill your life with things you like and the bullies and abusers will become smaller and smaller.

Therapy is a good start to help you with this and question yourself, who you are and who you want to be.

A pocket knife and a houseplant in a pot.

No, it didn't cover anything, it was really just the lines for the character. I don't think you could cover much under it other than a very tiny tattoo.

Maybe not quite as dumb as others here, but I once saw a woman in a sauna who had a GIANT 女 (woman) on her back. It went from the shoulders to the ass. I get finding Chinese characters cool and wanting them tattooed, but why on earth would you just tattoo "woman" instead of something meaningful and why so large it covers your entire back?

My entire life I've heard Americans lecture everyone how superior the US is because of all their rights, freedoms and "real democracy". The freest country in the world! Look at the constitution and the bill of rights - the most democratic country EVER! Where are those Americans now?

If they only mimic me and have some knowledge based on what is on my phone/online, they probably don't speak the same foreign languages as I on the same level. So I could authenticate myself by proving that I speak those languages.

That's not true everywhere, my city has a pretty good meetup scene for various hobbies. However the amount of people who sell their useless courses as "meetup, but I will ask for a 20€ fee from everyone" or shady "we will talk about investing/crypto..." groups has gone up.

Tom Cruise I just don't like anything about him

Will Smith, because he's annoyed me in every role after Prince of Bel Air

Try out things. What you like to do isn't always just something you always dreamed about. Finding a job you're good at will make you like it. That doesn't have to be something connected to a school subject. I was always very organized and I found out that I like working in project management. Had you told me in school about this job I'd probably have said it sounds boring. But I tried it by chance and it's actually very satisfying because I get to plan and organize.

You'll never know if you don't try. Get an entry level job, even if you don't like it you might find out that you like certain aspects of it and get a better idea of what you like in a job.

I'm forty, so a different generation than your parents, but I still grew up and had my first dating experiences before the internet. Online dating wasn't really a thing here until I was in my early twenties.

At least where I grew up the guys who randomly approached girls to ask them out were seen as creepy even back in the 90s. I and everyone I knew met partners through activities like sports clubs, parties, bars etc. (I'm not from the US, so people from my school started going to bars pretty early). While there wasn't a big discourse around men approaching women in public (or none that reached my little town), we did have some guys in town who'd just walk up to girls on the street and ask them out and the consensus was that they were weird and should be avoided.

I met all my partners so far through activities. My first boyfriend was a regular at the same student café and we ended up sitting next to each other during quiz night. I met guys I had dates with in uni - sitting next to each other during lectures and talking about the Prof, going to the same presentation or cooking night etc. None of them "approached me" in the sense of coming up to me and asking "can I have your number" with zero context. We chatted, had an interesting conversation. At the end we exchanged contact information to meet for a coffee, usually without any expectation of it being a date. When coffee went well, someone would ask the other out on a proper date. No approaching, no deciding within a few seconds wether you want to date someone. Just casually getting to know each other before asking for more.

I also met my husband that way. We went to the same event, talked, had a lot in common. We met the next day to continue a discussion about a certain topic we were both interested in. That's when things started getting flirty and by the end we made plans to meet for a real date. I don't even remember who asked whom, we were both heavily flirting with each by the time we talked about seeing each other again so it was very obvious the next meeting would be a date. He didn't ask me out out of nowhere or hit on me, we were just getting to know new people and eventually we started flirted somewhere along the line.