TubularTittyFrog @ TubularTittyFrog @lemmy.world

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410

Joined

1 yr. ago

There are very few third places you can just hang out at for no cost. Public transit sucks or is non existant, cars are super unaffordable due to collapsing economy, and all our cities are designed for using cars to drive from place to place… so very few places are actually walk-navigable…

Yeah a lot of these trends are also easy to break down by economic class. the people suffering the most from the are poorer people. well off upper middle income people experience these problems far less proportionally. because they have the resources to get around the paywalls, and have the well-off parents with the money to pay for all the extra schooling and digital detoxing that is necessary for better life outcomes.

but for the middle class and below... they are cooked. the avenues to success and self-reliance are basically non-existence and and have been shrinking at start rates since the 90s and the school system is become a cesspool that any decent intelligent person wants nothing to do with.

that's what the manosphere is dude.

and i bet you don't like that either. right?

because that's what you get when everyone shuns men. these men go to other men who accept them, and well you get the results we are getting. the manosphere is the only place many people can find any acceptance or advice.

Yes they are. The genders are massivenly different in a lot of ways, and failure to acknowledge that is sexist.

But keep screaming that anything that disagrees with your particular narrative that women are great and perpetual victims of men and men are always bad, I guess? Because that's not sexist, at all. lol

it couldn't be that both men and women are people and both suffer from the same bullshit that they themselves perpetuate? nah.

Amen.

There is a boatload of bad therapists and bad therapy out there. And sadly it gets a lot more traction and popularity because well... it's simplistic and easy. It's the fast food of therapy.

Good therapy is hard and long and complex. And most people simple don't want to deal with that. They want the diet pill version of therapy. Just make the bad feelings go away, and give me more good feelings.

I don't think enough analogies are drawn between physical vs mental health. Anyone knows that legit physical health is a long and boring process that takes a lot of discipline and time. Mental health and wellness really isn't any different. Therapists should also be more like physical trainers... you need to have a specific goal in mind and work towards that goal and really and the endgame should be to no longer need the physical trainer/therapist

Sadly in our economic system the incentive for a lot of people is the opposite and many bad therapist/trainers just want to generate dependency of their clients on themselves and as such they will indulge their clients worse habits to keep them hooked.

The amount of sexism in this comment section is…unnerving. Does a community exist for male identifying people to talk and share their troubles in a non hostile space? If it doesn’t I’ll make one.

No. Because if it it did it would be shut down as being hostile and offensive to women and a space for proto-rapists to hang out.

Probably the closest space any guy could get is AA or NA meetings.

a lot of therapists and psychs are also useless for helping men. because they are women and they are basically only trained to deal with women's issues and only see women's emotional processes and processing as 'valid'. there is this default bias that men's emotional processing is 'flawed'.

imo with mental health professionals all my 'issues' were blow way out of proportion. i only had one therapist who actaully helped me was a man and that person helped me understand that 'not everything is your fault'. when all the other therapists/friends/family always 100% told me everything that happens to me is entirely my fault. they also told me it was normal/healthy to vent my feelings by doing productive things (like writing, exercising, relaxing), rather than viewing that as 'not addressing the problem'.

the issue with so much of this crap is that not only does nobody want to talk to men, it's that they don't want to listen and/or the tell us we are 'talking wrong'. even when we do talk to people, there is only a tiny window of acceptable things we an talk about and way we can talk about them or how selfish it is of him to vent/indulge his legitimate emotions.

a woman can burst into tears over any little thing and everyone wants to help her. a man bursts into tears over his father dying of cancer and all the sudden everyone wants to tell him his reaction is too intense and he should be thinking of how he is making other people feel.

Pretty much every guy has had someone in his life try to get him to 'open up' and then we he does he's met with nothing but hostility, disappointment, and eventually rejection. We are told to shut up and never talk about it again. Never, ever is he met with acceptance or love.

You've got it backwards. Society doesn't work without a looming threat, whether that's an enemy or the environment.

participation in local politics is one.

a handful of loud people can deeply impact your local town operates..

A lot of those people are pro-facist, they just want a leftist facist regime instead of the right facism we got.

Truth doesn't feel good. People want to feel good.

Psychologically it's not different than biology in the sense that people don't want to work out and eat healthy... they want to be lazy and eat energy dense food.

Yep. Anger and egotism are proven my studies to basically be like taking a hit of cocaine. It gets people off and they get addicted to it.

Bingo. This is the fundamental disconnect I encounter on a daily basis. All anyone wants to do is lecture me about how they are right, and I am wrong if I think different than them. And if you don't give into them they simply start insulting or shaming you, hoping they can emotionally abuse you into compliance with their beliefs. Or they just think you are evil and divide the world up into hyperbolic terms.

That isn't how you learn or win people over to your side. All it does is promote ignorance & alienation, and that's what we have an overabundance of in our current society.

I'm apparently old-fashioned/out of date, but I went to college to learn how to understand, assess, and communicate with other people... seems like that is no longer what people are taught or at least, no longer value it.

That sounds like you have a mental health problem.

Depends on how badly he fucks up the country.

We won't get legit progressive reform until there is another depression or world war.

Yes. Democractic establishment throws elections away rather than tries to win them. And frankly the professional elite base of the party is more than happy with it and thinks if you disagree with them you're an uneducated sexist/racist.

It's also far less effective than building a strong politician coalition, as Trump and his supports did.

Frankly if I went to a MAGA rally I'd probably feel more accepted and welcomed than I by my fellow Democratic voters. And this is why Trump got so many votes this time. His supporters are enthusiastic, energized, and generally welcome to anyone who is angry and upset. Democrats kept chiding the voters they should be so lucky to have a black female president in such a great economy and if you weren't supporting them you were a bad person.

Frankly as a white guy from a working-class background, all the D have done for me is alienate me for 20+ years now. And tell me that I should vote for them anyway.

Ok, you’re right in this sense. However, I meant beaten badly in the sense of expectations vs. reality. If you followed any media, it was supposed to be a slight edge for Kamala, or at least a good chance for an upset. In the end the R’s got president, senate and congress. And the outcome was clear after the first few hours, unlike something like Gore vs. Bush.

Most telling move IMO is how they sidelined Tim Walz for being 'too radical'.

All he was doing was talking facts and smack. Democrats can't have that! It's not decent!

Funny thing about most leftist activist groups is they won't take a hard stance because they are afraid it will dry up the money spigot by 'looking bad'.

And of course the virtue signalling and purity tests that inevitable result in them become taking fascist stances towards groups they don't like.

I beat elden ring and the expansion.

it took me 200 hours. it took me 6+ months and a few holiday breaks to do it.

most games are like 1/10 of that length. game is crazy massive and long and detailed. and id' probably have to sink 500h+ to get all the details and endings and experience the various play styles.

because i'm at work. or tired as fuck at the end of a long day.