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2 yr. ago

  • The best way to beat a fascist is to make fun of them

    Oh I very much disagree, but my way is far more direct.

  • pringles

    Jump
  • No, the shape hinders putting the far enough into your mouth. Luckily, I've got a big one.

    Wait...

  • Well if you know your choices are "definitely go to prison for something you didn't do and either die in prison or come out a completely different person, out of time." or "trial by combat, maybe death, maybe freedom" I know which one I would choose.

    Especially if I know my accuser knows they're lying and it's not just a misunderstanding.

  • And of course the ever-popular "I gave the Teletubby skins gigantic boobs"

  • All I've seen in response is "hurr wouldn't happen without US military industrial complex"

    I've been missing that one.

    Which just tells me you're right, no response to this so they default back to old rhetoric.

  • Huh. When I get asked about mine, I'm very up-front about all of it.

    Weird.

  • He said "communications platforms" not "misinformation, social engineering, and mass data collection platform masquerading as a social media platform"

  • So my nephew was talking mad shit the other day about gymnastics and how it's "not a sport" and it's "for weak girls".

    I asked him "If it's so easy, why don't you go do a couple flips and prove how easy it is?"

    His sister answered saying "Last time he tried that he broke his foot!" and started laughing.

    My nephew immediately glared at us and started crying.

    Russia acts like my 10 year old nephew.

  • "Kamala" is hard to pronounce, yet they never had a problem with "Barack Hussein Obama pause for the scary middle-eastern/Islamic-sounding name to sink into racist audience"

    And I love when Palin got called out directly for that and she backpedaled so hard, trying to make it sound like they always do that with everyone and started rattling off republican full names like that made a single bit of difference...

    Can we get a truth-o-meter to scrutinize all candidates during debates like they do in futurama?

  • There's a difference in saying something sexist and racist to be sexist and racist vs being practical due to other people's sexism and racism.

    I don't like it any more than you, but I'm afraid they're right. While the country might benefit from two women, two POC, two women of color any variation thereupon, they might not have the best chance in certain (usually older) demographics. And unfortunately this isn't a contest we can pick the morally right choice, lose with dignity, and still come out okay.

    "Stand in the ashes of a [Million] dead and ask them if honor matters... Their silence is your answer."

    After going through project 2025, I do not think I am being dramatic or hyperbolic with that video game quote.

  • Oof. I feel that.

    My first foray into any gaming was Alpha Centauri. Had no idea what to do and my dad is shit at explaining anything. To this day I cannot stand the series or even turn-based strategy games.

    I think my first online experience was Left for Dead, and a teammate startled a witch within 30 seconds of starting the very first level. Instant hatred of witches and actively tried to dissuade people from messing with them.

    Nowadays I toss a pipe bomb ahead of myself while pumping away with my shotgun and half the time I down them before they can stand up fully. Mostly so I can traumatize my friends who are still on the hate train.

    Slightly related, I found out that unless you check the "limit superweapons" box in Generals, your opponent will likely just spam a shitload of superweapons, so it won't matter that they suck at strategy, because they can just wait 5 minutes, click 20 times and have your entire base leveled.

  • Their crocodile tears just make them look more like the children they detest every day.

    Sidenote: the phrase "your boos mean nothing, I've seen what makes you cheer" is getting overused, but like.... It's just so fitting how can you not use it.

  • There's a lot that's left out, but I only have so many hours in a day...

  • Legitimately if someone said "it's better than the shelter no matter what" I'd tell them "okay then, you're coming home with me. Every night I will kick you because you're slightly too slow for my liking and in my way. Every morning I will forget to feed you because I don't really care about you. I might give you my leftovers after dinner. No lunch because you only get two meals a day. Forgotten breakfast included. I will also tie you outside in 95 degree heat for a week and only fill your water every other day because I misplaced my shoe and blamed it on you. When you get sick, I'm just going to break your leg and leave you in the woods." and tell them not to complain because at least they aren't in a shelter.

    If that isn't the end of the discussion, then [REDACTED]

  • on?

    I am Transporter Room 3. Or I might just be an amalgamation of all the consciousnesses Chief O'Brien has stored in the pattern buffer uhhhh beamed up.... Yeah beamed up.

    You'd be surprised how much silver is in a transporter though. Vampires just slide right out.

  • Yeah but you have to sneak them in close to the enemy base, otherwise they take their sweet-ass time rematerializing, and all 37 of them that you had spent several minutes of clicking to plan out who will attack what building get slaughtered without a single one firing their weapon.

    And if you miss all the "poof.... Pooof.... Poof..." right next to your base... You deserve it. Send a bunch of grunts or dogs in wherever they gather and they'll all be dead long before you need to worry.

    I legitimately don't like those units because they're so weak and specialized, I never really get a chance to utilize them right

  • second best military in the world

    On paper, at least...

  • Hey now, no need to bring math into this like a civilized person! You changed the outcome by measuring it!

  • Kids

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  • Oh look, it's buzz-Killington.

    "Not on this planet... yet."

    Or if you want to go full crash course, "For now, but that hasn't always been the case and might not be in another million years" and explain things like Oxygen Collapse/Great Oxygenation during the proterozoic when oxygen levels first shot up and killed off a ton of oxygen-hating things.

  • Legitimately would invite them to chill with me on the porch. I'm not inviting them in though

    Vampires ain't gonna trick me a third time.