TheOtherJake @ TheOtherJake @beehaw.org

Posts

11

Comments

57

Joined

2 yr. ago

In a nutshell, a couple of drivers took me out on a bicycle 2/26/14, with a broken neck and back. The bones healed but I have some kind of undiagnosed soft tissue damage that makes it impossible for me to hold posture for more than around one hour. It doesn't matter if I'm sitting or standing. If I push past this, I am a useless zombie. It will also take me somewhere between a few days to a month to be able to sleep for more than an hour or two after pushing myself to stay upright for too long.

Naturally doctors in the US don't have a clue what to do with me and neither does disability court. I am stuck living as a burden to my parents waiting for them to die so that I can take up occupation in a ditch somewhere as is the American way.

I don't know what to say really. I've been hesitant to engage with this place, but didn't want to leave you hanging without a reply.

I spend most of my day stuck laying in a bed or on a couch after lots of broken stuff in 2014. No one has been able to say exactly what is wrong with me as far as what didn't heal. I just can't hold posture sitting or standing for more than around one hour. I've slept doing a bad impression of a rotisserie chicken for nearly 10 years. Tired would be an understatement. I also only really go out normally for medical appointments. I can do a daily physical exercise routine. That is what has held me together so far.

I was a buyer for a chain of high end bike shops for many years. Amazon really only sells junk products. Any real quality brands of niche products can't support amazon and the typical brick and mortar business inventory structure. Like, I spent between $100k-$500k in preseason bike brand commitments for 3 stores. If any of those brands decided to allow sales on Amazon I would drop them immediately. Multiply this by every bike shop that exists. This is more than Amazon could compete with by a long shot. The issue is that every Buyer in a shop knows what they are able to sell effectively and buys accordingly. I tailored my orders for every shop independently. It would be impossible for Amazon to predict and fund high end bikes at this scale.

"So what," you say, "it's just bikes." No it is not. The bike brands are usually part of a group of brands that include several parts, clothing, and accessory products. These are part of preseason commitments with the bike brands too. So all of these are not sold on Amazon either. This is the case with most things, the best or even decent stuff is not sold on Amazon.

The worst thing with amazon is that they aggregate all identical products in their warehouses. This makes it trivial for a seller to insert fake goods into a product pool and it is completely untraceable back to them.

2008

It's a bird. It's a plane. No it's weiner sizzle

Over the last days, thinking about this, writing then canceling a half dozen times, then finally posting, and pondering responses, I think the mentally bottled sexuality has been my primary hindrance of emotional growth.

Growing up in an ostracized small religious group meant default friends because there were only 2-3 kids in an age group. These "friends" coexisted more than developed relationships. I don't know how to develop real relationships beyond those of convenient coexistence. I can readily acknowledge I am emotionally shallow, but unlike intellect where I feel free to pursue curiosity unabated, I don't have a clue where to go with emotional growth. It seems like addressing unrecognized prejudices may be a good starting point. Maybe looking to people bold enough to stand out on their own even against social pressures, is a good idea.

I think we all turn invisible at 30 too.

So to really clarify. In my past I have had no problem calling out heterosexual people in my friends group for outright lude behavior. Like, a slap on the ass in public and some quick innuendo that would fly past the average pre-teen unnoticed is perfectly fine. Holding hands or a plutonic peck on the cheek or lips is fine. It's the constant prolonged banter, hands in the pants, groping type of behavior that has made me uncomfortable regardless of orientation.

I went to high school at an advanced, State run, semi private institution that was located in a predominantly black neighborhood in the US south. The school was 90% black. I'm white and I quickly learned that there are times when racism went both ways. There were many taboo words and things that can't or shouldn't ever be said in such situations. I had just as many, if not more, black friends that were often willing to stand up for me when I was the minority in a larger group.

I have felt a similar type of need to avoid saying anything when it comes to open lude behavior and the LGBTQ+ community; like I can't say anything as some kind of reparation for the sins of my ancestors kind of thing. This is not something that everyone does or anything like that. It's the kind of situation where there are a couple dozen people in the group and there is that one person that wants to push everyone to their limits and beyond.

This is internally polarizing for me and I don't want to leave that unaddressed. It is an internal conflict point that slows my growth and perspective. So, does one say something, or avoid circumstances where the offending person is present? It feels like a lose:lose situation. If I say something it will likely light a fuse I'm not prepared to absorb the blast from, or I'm labeled as prejudice because of applying the same sense of morality across the board and so avoiding the person is my only option that avoids conflict. At the same time, I don't want the person to feel oppressed or ostracized.

I can only think of twice in my life that this has happened, but it is a mental wall that I never tried to address or get past. It is what polarized me in a way I didn't acknowledge as significant until now.

I have trouble getting past some of it too. I don't get out much. Sometimes it feels like being uncomfortable is also not knowing what happens if I was not hiding behind the no PDA wall. Coming to terms with this is kinda what I hope to accomplish here, I just don't know how to say it in a very good way. Honestly, this community is probably the only place I would dare try. Thanks for that.

That is the kind of intuitive conflict I'm looking for to find balance. I know there is more in this space that I have not encountered. This hits hard.

I'm really curious, and ready to read that post

No it was related to custom emojis.

Isn't that a subscription service thing though?

There IS one major problem. Many accounts only have optional email attached for .world, mine included. I think that means compromised credentials are a massive problem.

No user data like credentials gets transfered. Everything between instances is done with bot like helpers that do the data transfers.

It's corruption at every level. Like, people keep talking about whatever stupid thing the toxic clowns of the Republican party are doing. The whole point is to ensure no effective laws are passed. It is not about the clown politics it is about maintaining the insignificant tiny set of laws and protections in the USA. The US has a tenth of the laws present in any western country. This is the whole point. Keep the laws ineffective and inadequate to exploit every possible person and loophole by any means necessary. The only thing that matters is controlling the conversation and holding the government hostage to a constant ddos attack. If anything gets deregulated or changed for the worse it is just a bonus side effect for the parasitic billionaires.

Worse yet. Install a whitelist firewall or have a look at the connections required to access Discord. You will immediately stop using it. It involves dozens of undocumented raw IP address connections and weird ports. Top this off by telling me what their business model is and how they are profitable. They provide no documentation whatsoever about what they are doing and why. The best explanation anyone has ever given me when asked why they use discord is, 'because everyone else is doing it.' That is idiotic nonsense.

Better chance of YT -> Odysee