There's cracks in the foundations of my mind \
Now every structure is compromised \
And I lie and say I'm alright \
But my can of worms has snakes inside \
So I keep the lid closed \
And seal my lips so \
So my loved ones do not know \
I'll be the keeper of their happiness \
And prolong their blissful ignorance \
Of the cracks in the foundations of my mind
It might help you to learn about their evolution - they look weird AF and creepy because they come from the sea - I had arachnophobia, and while I still get that initial shock at seeing one, I can rationalise my way out of it now. That's because I basically did a sort of 'exposure therapy' on myself by learning about their evolution, behaviours and biology. The Tarantula subreddit helped immensely - seeing a male lying upside in his wank-blanket (or wanket) is the stupidest looking thing ever 😂
Here is an example of a male tarantula wanking off into his badly made wanket 😂😂😂
My hair has grown to that annoying length where it pokes me in the eyes. Too short to tie it all back without still having a mop at the front, and clipping it back... I need more clips than I possess due to it's wavy chaotic nature.
But I don't want to cut it, I want to grow it out longer, so here I am whinging lol
I'm used to it now to be honest - been in this apartment for 5 years this month, and prior spent 1 year in a CBD apartment 😂 The trains and the horns, the tram dings, overnight construction, hooligans in the alley, occasional methheads in the alley, ambulances in the alley, music from Sydney Road - it's all white noise to me now. The soundproofing in my apartment is actually really good considering its age, the outside world is barely audible and I've never heard my neighbours in their apartments, only when they are in the hallway.
It's funny, I find it difficult to sleep in quiet environments now, like camping or staying over in suburbia. Im much more hypervigilant when I can hear a pin drop 😂
You are always welcome always to vent and just get it all out here!
It isn't light or airy, no, but it doesn't have to be. This is what is happening in your life and to you, and it is worth talking to people you trust - even if it's just this forum 💜 I get the pain of watching your mum deteriorate, even though my experiences cause was different, and it isn't easy to look after them. The chores are easy, the mental energy and internal stress it takes to just be present and witness to it is draining. I'm so sorry you and your mum and dad are going through this right now, I hope your mum is able to settle down now she is back home and will accept food. Sending you all my love and good vibes, if I could give you some of my mental energy I would do that too 💜💜💜
My neighbours 3 stories below me has recently had their first baby, and I'm pretty sure tonight's Sydney Road doof doof bars and clubs aren't the most favourite sounds for that babe - I can faintly hear the sounds of a baby crying over the heavy drums from the bar across the road 😬
I hope they can find a quieter place at some point for their bubs and their own sanity!
Edit: oh wow it's 4am lol incredible least I have no plans
I think cats are special in their self-domestication. When they choose to lay on us or keep us close company, they know we need their love the most and it's feels so utterly special and genuine. I truly believe if there is a reason humans evolved the way we did, it's so we can be the guardians of life on Earth - pack bonding with animals and plants and objects is just what we do and when they love us back? It makes it all so worth it!
Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate the kind words and support! And I am saddened to learn that there are more people here whose parents were/are very lacking, I'm sending you all my good vibes and love 💜
Here is Mickey as thank you as to bring food* luck to you all
*Meant to say "good luck", but I'll leave it as is and channel the luck into your cooking and baking
Just needed to get this out into the world, I can't talk to my family about this, especially not now, and my partner doesn't really get it as his parents are wonderful. I'm sorry.
I can't imagine doing jury duty for a case like this, ugh!!
And yeah, there is so little nuance to the discussions on that subreddit. If someone tries to explain reasonable doubt they're downvoted. Way too much of an echo chamber.
It's not rude! It's beautiful! Thank you for sharing, truly and sincerely! Big hugs and good vibes! 💜💜💜