Skanky @ Skanky @lemmy.world

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Joined

2 yr. ago

Cemetery Gates

🤘

Spray cheese

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning, I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool

And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long (that) Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone. I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline, Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin. But if you finish all of your chores, and i finish mine, Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699.

We been spending most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
I churned butter once or twice
Livin' in an Amish paradise It's hard work and sacrifice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Livin' in an Amish paradise

The original joke was pure Gold, but these later ones are just Boron me

The funny part is that Mormon god was only flexible when it suited Joseph Smith.

I mean, it's kinda oddly coincidental that God spoke to JS and told him that polygamy was ok right after his wife told him she was furiously against it, don't you think?

Hello. Would you like to know more about what happens after you die?

Yeah, i hate to say it, but unless you're in the path of totality, it's pretty lame. Sure, the light gets weird, and you can make neat little crescents with shadows, but that's about it

Being in totality is without a doubt, one of the most awe-inspiring things you could ever witness

You know, did this really need to be posted? The sooner this walking trash dumpster fades into nothingness the better

Like others said, you'll be fine. Also, the eclipse apps out there will tell you when the full eclipse starts and ends... Down to the second.

If you've never seen an eclipse in totality before... Believe me... TOTALLY worth the risk. It's honestly one of the most surreal and breathtaking events you may ever witness. If you've got the chance to see it, you absolutely should.

Oh i remember.

Not only do they get to continue business, they never received any sort of punishment whatsoever. Not even a fine.

Just to be clear, it's not safe unless it's eclipsed totally. It's not that unsafe while the sun is totally obscured by the moon. Just make sure you're not looking at it before and after its very brief time while in totality

Oh no!

Anyways...

But, do they have chicken nugger sand sweer potato?

I should have qualified that phrase better.

"What same person with a fraction of a brain..."

You're not the boss of me, now

Serious question... Who the fuck is actually trying to look at the sun before/after totally? That shit is insanely bright, even in the few seconds before/after.

Maybe?

100% this

Last count, i have well over 300 online accounts - and i don't know the password for a single one of them, except for my main Google account and my password manager. It remembers all of them for me.

Don Poorleone

You're the best LD!