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11 mo. ago

well...

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  • Poor genie didn't realize you were hitting on them and just wanted to ride their massive cock.

  • I've summoned a demon, AND been to MULTIPLE hells.

    LPT: don't summon a demon if you aren't certain you can control it.

  • Imagine if you had one of the greatest piano players in history offering to play you something, and you ask him to play the opening bars of "Heart and Soul", three times in a row.

    Yes, they could do it, and do it perfectly.... But why would they want to do that when Claire De Lune or Für Elise exist. And yes, those are still fairly basic in the grand scheme of things but heart and soul is boring AF.

  • Make no mistake, there are plenty of people in positions of power, who could all make sure this doesn't happen.

    They aren't. Mostly because they want it to happen (also to own the libs) , or because they don't seem to realize we are in fascism times and think "surely there is a good reason for this"

    They are giving it to him.

  • I never thought I'd see the day when a draft dodging felon was given a military parade for his birthday.

    For the record, fuck the draft. If they ever call it up again, I encourage everyone to metaphorically burn their cards en masse, and present a middle finger to the federal government.

    But you don't get to use daddy's money and connections to be allowed to stay when others have to make an actual choice to make a stand, and you sure as FUCK shouldn't get to have a military parade after doing so.

    If the 9,000 military personnel had any sense of duty to the oath they all took, then they would refuse to go, or honestly even do the funniest thing on planet earth.

    Cheeto said it himself, "he who saves his country commits no crime"

  • "If you're too insecure to wash your nasty-ass stank smell off because of a nice smell, you ARE a bitch, and a whiny one at that. When you grow up to be a REAL man, my body wash will still be there, not giving a shit about what dangles between your legs or what you think is or isn't manly."

  • That's the point.

    Set the bar low, but just high enough that tons of people still trip over it.

    Sit back and enjoy the comment wars.

    The people who are confident but wrong are too proud to admit they were wrong even if they realize it, and comment angrily.

    The people who are right and know why, comment for corrections and some to show off how S-M-R-T they are.

    The people who are wrong but willing to accept that just have their realization and probably don't think about it again. So do the people who don't know and/or care.

    But those first two groups will keep the post going in both shares and comments, because "look at all these wrong people"

    It's all designed to boost engagement.

  • GIMP

    Jump
  • Had me in the first half, not gonna lie.

  • My condolences to your digestive tract...

  • The Game (which you just lost)

    goddamn it I just lost the game...

  • DO NOT start chainsaw between legs

  • I turned my wife into a nerd and now we go to half price books.

    You can't separate the art from the artist, but I can damn well ensure that none of my money goes to them.

    Secondhand all the way baybee

  • If Bob is pissing in the sink, who the fuck cares if Larry The Sink Pisser is saying someone else is pissing in the sink too?

    "what about all the sink pissing Larry has done?" is literally whataboutism.

  • They're being elitist with their headline, but this is why I personally think they're sort of right.. We will make the planet uninhabitable for modern society before the sane world can pool their resources.

  • The meat grinder is working exactly as they want it to.

    All those pesky social programs keep allowing the poors to escape it.

  • Well, if studies on microplastics are any indication, they DO carry your trash.

    Just indirectly.

  • I once had a granola wrapper blow away in the wind, and I felt so bad I started looking for trash on my way out.

    Then I realized I could be doing that every time and I started bringing shopping bags with me on hikes and grabbing any trash I see until the bag is full or I leave.

    It's made me realize something.

    Even the people who hike several miles into deer paths, the kind you would expect to be the less than casual group and therefore should know better, are fucking disgusting.

    Humans are gross and it's nothing new, we know the most about ancient cultures that left a lot of garbage.

  • It's a good thing those torches are still burning after thousands of years, otherwise you would have needed a flashlight!

  • A judge would sign a search warrant because a cop pinky swears the target is a black ms13 Muslim antifa commiesocialmarxist.