RBWells @ RBWells @lemmy.world

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2 yr. ago

Well I am on the other side of this, I feel so fat even though objectively not overweight at all (BMI of 22, and pretty lean) because I was underweight a long time so in a relative sense I feel fat. I also feel better than I ever did when underweight, physically, and my bone mass is a little better (which is supposed to be impossible to achieve at my age) and that pisses me off, I want my healthiest weight to be the size I like better.

I don't think it's good for you to enable them in losing weight, no. Unless you are 100% sure they are not falling into disordered eating. It's their body, you can't control that but it's fine not to support or help them with it.

As someone prone to eating disorders - the suggestion to work out is solid. I find it much better to focus on athletic goals and just let form follow function. It's good to be able to feel good about what my body can do.

My ex got so mad because down here the boy name Don and the girl name Dawn sound about the same. He would yell no it's not it's DAAHN and DWAWN! But we don't have that nasal Midwestern thing, it's just Don and Daun.

More years usually = more healthy years, that's how you end up with more years. Chronic disease wears bodies out faster, not more slowly. I'd rather get it over later, and yes with something quick.

Sure there will come a time when I am uncomfortable every day but at near 60 still do yoga, eat well, sex every day, nothing hurts, very good quality of life. Didn't expect it but I have it for now.

Having an Inner Critic is normal, but you seem to have fed it, until you believe it is true. It's not. I hope your therapy does help.

You know what's funny? I have the body dysmorphia, like still cannot see myself as having a good body, and usually mirror or photo just confirms this. But one time my husband took a picture when I was just in underwear, so nearly naked, and I looked so good, it's like somehow he captured how he sees me. And we have one flattering mirror in the house, I thought it was like a fun house slimming mirror, asked my kids and they were like, no, that is how you look.

So if you have someone you can trust to bounce things off, that can really help, occasionally others can see past your insecurities and give a clearer view.

What sort of whims are we talking here? The way you word this it answers itself. The needs of everyone are equal, rights apply to all. If we can't protect "the few" we are all at risk.

But if you mean whims like every time I go to the beach someone doesn't have food for a week, no, obviously I wouldn't go to the beach until that was fixed.

By the first evening by 9pm, when they didn't get dinner.

I would take that "we don't care" as an invitation to leave and start a new life with people who do care. Nobody should say that out loud, what assholes, but since they don't need you, you are free.

My kid got a worksheet on the long A sound. She got through most of them but was stumped on the "lobster". I looked at it - Lobster, Crawfish, neither of those have a long A sound, what the heck?

Hours later it occurs to me.

OH, Craaay-fish? Who in the world calls them that? Nobody here. Where was this printed?

Migraine. I've broken bones, had unmedicated childbirth, nothing has ever hurt as much or as disgustingly as a migraine.

Other than that, any pain to do with fingernails or toenails sqiucks me out, I would cave under torture.

I was around for that time, and yes in many ways the world is better now, it's a mixed bag but:

My kids were not beat up in school for being queer.

The bay is much cleaner (though that is going in the wrong direction)

Solar power has come down in cost so much that there is hope for the clean energy transition to accelerate.

I was literally paid less than the men doing the same job I was doing, openly, in the early 1990s. And there was smoking in offices.

Violent crime is much less prevalent than it was back then. My kids don't have to be as careful or afraid as I was.

Overall - I don't think it is useful to be nostalgic, there are enough changes in a positive direction, sure we had more hope for the future in the 1990s but the reason we needed it was because things were kinda shitty.

What the heck? How did you jump from her dressing the way she wants, to wanting to have sex with someone 60 years younger?

My sister in law said she tried to dress "appropriately for her age" and I don't. I told her I try to dress appropriately for my body type and style.

What's the use of living 80 years if you can't at least wear what you please? And BTW, how do you feel about Dolly Parton then?

I hope you live to 100, OP.

Not usually, no.

I can agree with this. Like entering your dog in a dog show. I did want my kids in sport or dance as part of their education but told them if I ever gave criticism, to tell me to do the sport my own damn self. So they did their stuff as their hobbies, and I did my own art/sport stuff and kept out of theirs.

Y'all have some weird ideas about what a hobby is. Parenting as a hobby cracked me up, that's just having a family, you presumably grew up in one of those. Religion isn't a cult-like hobby, it's a hobby-ish cult.

On the parenting front though, I think those pageants are, those kids do it for a hobby and I would consider it abusive, and hard to exit once they are in.

This is the most recent data I can find.

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Famous is different from working. I have known plenty of artists who just hustle and make a living - singing telegrams, weddings, bar gigs, teaching, they make enough to get by. They are working musicians.

Then there are all those bands who plug on, famous but not wildly so, I think they are making enough to live on just their band earnings.

Then a very few who get rich. Mostly those are kids of connected people, not always but often.

It's the same with any entertainment industry, right? Average earnings on onlyfans is something like $3 a month.

And there is just So Much Talent in the world, and people have limited entertainment budgets.

That headline. First I thought Iranians sunbathe and play with drones at the same time? Then had the unfortunate mental image of Trump sunbathing.

It's really hard to have a routine when your work schedule is irregular. I don't think you are wrong to rely on easy to prepare stuff but you need more nutrition, yes? My kids say I have ADD, and most of them do, my second to youngest was having trouble because Adderall so I got her some easy things.

Bagged salad packs with the dressing.

Packaged Hummus from the grocery, on Triscuit crackers, has a lot of calories with fiber & nutrition from the hummus.

Apple with sliced cheese or peanut butter

Do you like tuna? Make tuna salad at the beginning of the week, or a can dumped on one of the aforementioned bagged salad mixes.

Hard boiled eggs last a long time in the fridge, also an egg dropped into your ramen would add nutrition.

Keep your work schedule in your phone calendar and set an alarm for dinner.

For breakfast cold fermented oatmeal is amazing, we call it summer oatmeal. Mix rolled oats with yogurt, coconut water and/ or kombucha/kvass/tepache if you have it, juice or water if you don't. Mix in dried fruit and nuts and seeds, even chocolate if you want. It should start a little sloppy as the oats will take up the liquid. Taste and adjust, sweeten if you want, I don't. Put it in the fridge and each morning take a little for breakfast.

And also, don't stress about eating regularly if you don't have weight issues. If your body is feeling ok and staying in a healthy size you don't need to force yourself.

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your dad is a racist.

I would say it's a shining example of my theory. He wants to go back to when he was ignorant of the struggles of other people. They did exist, he just didn't know and now he does.

+3 or so, benign neglect, with unavoidable trauma. My dad died when I was a teenager and that sucked, my mom fell apart, also she was diagnosed bipolar and I didn't enjoy being a child at all, but do honestly believe my mom did her best, and we were fed, housed, schooled, (ETA including sports! She was big on physical fitness, and that is something that absolutely ended up improving my adult life, once I recovered from my own disordered/restrictive eating) and not interfered with much beyond that.

What score would the over-involved helicopter parents of my kids' friends land on this scale, though? Those kids aren't spoiled exactly but certainly not neglected.

I think people who think the past was better are all white men, and it's because they didn't have to think about other people. They want to go back to ignorance.

He literally says that to you? The 1950s? Have you asked him specifically why? My mom had a great time in the 1950s and no way would she ever have wanted the world to go backwards to that time. She recognized, as she became older, how bad things were for her mom, for black kids (her school was segregated), for so many people.

The only reason I can imagine wanting to go to the past, is to try to make this future better, but I know better than to fuck with the timeline and can't imagine I'd be able to do anything about it anyway.