In the billionaires’ defense, when Muslim children aren’t dying in the Middle East, they’re unable to get erections, and they’re all booked for Epstein’s island 2.0.
Absolutely fantastic that these people run the world and are accountable to no one.
“Not my big boat penis!” yelled the oligarch who got tens of thousands of Russians killed by siphoning gas and stealing tank parts to sell on the black market to buy said boat penis (probably).
This should not have happened. Google Cloud has identified the events that led to this disruption and taken measures to ensure this does not happen again.”
Our AI golem destroyed something important again, but we’re too big to fail so our mistakes don’t matter.
We promise it won’t happen again, but when it does happen again, it still won’t matter.
We’re a totally safe and responsible company and should be trusted with most of the world’s data management.
The intentionally-created famine and water shortage may be the worst war crime of all. There aren’t enough bombs to kill everyone, but starvation and thirst will.
Human beings should not be treated this way. At least allow humanitarian aide in for innocent civilians. Children.
That’s for the best. The unwritten rule has always been that children are off limits until they get involved. 18 is way too young to enter his father’s media circus.
You see, our stock price goes up when we buy other companies and it goes up when we fire people. We're doing both at the same time, so our stock price will go up double. This is a sustainable business model and not at all a very dead canary in a very deadly coal mine.
The legislation is personal for Rehder, who was married at age 15 to her 21-year-old boyfriend in 1984. A year earlier, her sister, at age 16, married her 39-year-old drug dealer, she has said.
That's the reality of child marriage. It's exploitation and child molestation. Keep in mind these are the same people who want LGBT+ people exterminated for being "groomers." The accusation is a confession.
Maybe it’s methane release. Maybe it’s gasses from the sea floor we knew nothing about. We have no fucking clue what climate change is going to look like. PR firms told scientists to put the lowest projections in press releases for the last decade. The real numbers are both grim and proving to be optimistic.
As it turns out, the math was all wrong. Who knows why? Maybe all the Earth’s various systems are interrelated, and when one system collapses it causes dozens of other systems to collapse. Maybe Earth and the delicate balance that enabled life to grow on this planet is a little more sensitive to sudden, radical change than we thought.
Maybe all the people who lied about climate change since the 1970s lied about more shit we’re going to find out about shortly now that we can’t stop it from happening. But they’ll still make their profits and get their taxpayer-funded subsidies, so capitalism is working as intended.
They’re working on a way to project ads onto your closed eyelids and count that as engagement. It’s technically eyeballs. Maybe the brand makes it into your dreams.
It’s sad that that’s probably all we can hope for, but it is what it is. The playing field is not even remotely level. Fight and scrape just to get the bastards to be transparent about their thievery.
Finally some good news on the climate. Our ability to fuck the Earth will mostly go away when our civilization collapses. We might even get a second Genghis Khan cooling when everyone dies.
There is no ceiling. It might go up 6 or 7C. The people who have the power to change things do not give a shit if the rest of us die. They don't care, and they won't change anything. That's the world we live in.
It’s pronounced “shitter.”