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  • The burdens of adult life weigh heavily on me, but I would never give up my freedom of choice to avoid them. I have enough trouble living with myself as it is, without losing that last bit of self-respect.

  • The victims in this case are magats.

    "My brother voted for President Trump. What he and his wife regret is the trauma they endured on U.S. soil—both handcuffed without cause, separated, humiliated, and treated like threats instead of citizens."

    They'll jerk off to it until it's their turn.

  • Yeah, I know it wouldn't be a good thing for the U.S., but they want to destroy everything anyway so they can create their fascist paradise. I'd prefer if they just get it over with already.

    If the end is coming, I'd prefer it to get here already.

  • You could call it amblyopia.

    It's kind of fun to say. The syllables roll over each other like wet pumpkin seeds.

    Most people won't know what you're talking about, unless you hang out with a lot of eye nerds. You'll probably find yourself saying, "... which is the medical term for 'lazy eye' ..." all the time.

    I just googled "amblyopia" and the result came up as:

    Lazy Eye

    Also called: amblyopia

  • My wife lost an inch, then had to have a vertebrae fused in her neck and she got the inch back.

    Pissed off my daughter as she had just outgrown my wife, only for my wife to pass her and force her to do it again.