Image Transcription: Meme

STOP USING CSS

HTML WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE GIVEN CLASSES
YEARS OF MARKUP yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for styling beyond \
Wanted to center content for a laugh? We had a tool for that: It was called "
"Yes please align that content exactly 32.89% left. Please align 59.0px down"
     Statements dreams up by the utterly deranged

LOOK at what FRONT-END Devs  have been demanding your Respect for all this time.
(This is REAL CSS. done by REAL Devs)

[Three screenshots of CSS code, each one marked with a number of red question marks. The first screenshot has five question marks and reads as follows:]

    
h1 {
        font-size: .75em;
        position: absolute;
        bottom: 20px;
        width: 94%;
        left: 2%;
}

  

[The second screenshot has eight question marks and reads as follows:]

    
*{
    font-size: 30px;

}
    q::before {
  content: "«";
  color: blue;
]

q::after {
  content: "»";
  color: red;
}

  

[The third screenshot has sixteen question marks and reads as follows:]

    
#header ul a:focus, #header ul a:active,
#header ul a:hover {
    background-color: #5A5A5A;
    outline-color: -moz-use-text-color:
    outline-style: none;
    outline-width: medium;
}

  

[The screenshots end.]

"Hello center that div please"

They have played us for absolute fools

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Image Transcription: Meme

In Unix there is a "man" command and a "cat" command...

[Image of a black dog with a white throat and floppy ears that hang limply, sitting by a bed. Their mouth is downturned and their round, sad eyes look up.]

so why no "dog" command???

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Image Transcription: Meme

People in every profession: We know what we do

Programmers:

["Awkward Look Monkey Puppet", two images of a red monkey puppet from “Ōkiku naru Ko”. On the left, the monkey faces right and sideglances with wide eyes and contracted pupils, while the right image shows the monkey staring straight ahead.]

I am a human who transcribes posts to improve accessibility on Lemmy. Transcriptions help people who use screen readers or other assistive technology to use the site. For more information, see here.

This, all of this. Meta is the one company I really manage to completely shut out of my life, partially through use of extensions like Facebook Container and partially through simply never interacting with anything I see from them. I'm on places like Lemmy because I want nothing to do with these huge corporations, because they always bring nothing but corruption and exploitation.

Image Transcription: Greentext

Anonymous

[Image of a feminine anime character with very pale red hair, pink eyes, blush under the eyes, and an open mouth.]

Install the Linix operating system

Suspicious black van is parked outside my apartment and doesn't move

Black cashier at the grocer made weird hand gestures at me

Every second night at 8 PM a car will circle past my window and honk exactly 3 times

Every new month someone will leave a piece of litter in my mailbox

Start receiving silent calls from random numbers every time I do the laundry

Coworker talked to me about his dog in-person, next morning all youtube ads are about dog food and dog toys

Stopped by a burger stand one day on my way home, all my bookmarked blogs running google adsense start advertising McDonald's exclusively

My hotmail account is suddenly flooded with spam mails about alien abductions

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Image Transcription: Meme

BRACE YOURSELVES

[An image of the character Lord Eddard Stark, from the TV series "Game of Thrones", protrayed by Sean Bean. He wears leather armour with a a thick cloak, a fur mantle about his shoulders, and grips a sword with both hands, hilt in front of his chest, blade pointing down, as he stares forward with narrowed eyes.]

I HAVE PROBLEM IN KALI LINUX

WIFI DOESN'T WORK (RTL8821CE)

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Image Transcription: Meme

[Four images of toilet roll holders, each with text above them.

The first shows a toilet roll holder holding a partially-used roll of toilet paper. Its text reads, "Non-zero value".

The second shows a holder holding a completely used roll of toilet paper, leaving just the cardboard tube. Its text reads, "0".

The third shows a holder with no toilet roll or cardboard tube on it at all. Its text reads, "null".

The fourth shows no holder; simply plain wall. Its text reads, "undefined".]

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Image Transcription: Comic

[Swords DCCXXXIX: CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON, by Matthew J Wills]

Panel 1

[A sword with a brightly glowing blade. The hilt is blue and scaly, while the guard forms the shape of two yellow-eyed, green-scaled dragons consuming one another's tails to form a circle. The pommel features a ring hole from one side to the other. At the tip of the blade are two dots and a very thin line forming a slightly smiling face.]

A SWORD THAT GLOWS BRIGHTLY WHENEVER YOU'RE HUNGRY

Panel 2

[A sword on a wavy dark blue background. The blade is large, heavy, and only sharp on one side. There is a large spike like a dorsal fin bending backwards from the blunt edge, two divets like side fins on the flat, four divets along the sharp edge, and a large crack digging into the tip, reminiscent of a toothy maw. The hilt is dark brown, seemingly bound with leather straps.]

A SWORD THAT ONLY WORKS UNDER WATER

Panel 3

[A sword with a blade enclosed in pink-and-white striped wax, like a decorative candle. The hilt is blue, with a crossguard that curls up towards the blade. At the tip of the blade, the wax is melted away, revealing a dark, sharp interior like the wick of a candle, and more reminiscent of a wooden stake than of a blade. This tip is on fire, and the fire blazes forwards to form a more conventional sword-tip shape.]

A FIRE SWORD THAT ONLY LASTS FOR A SINGLE DAY

Panel 4

[A jagged, decrepit sword, curved in multiple places. The tip curves forwards then hooks back again like the tip of a khopesh, with two distinct, sudden corners to change angle instead of a gradual curve.

Beneath the tip, the blade is partially enclosed in a wooden guard of some sort. There is a spiral marking leading into a line on the upper part of this, and the wood is unenclosed at the front until the very bottom of the blade, where it closes over and curves to a very thin point before curving back to meet the hilt.

From the spot just above the hilt, grey hair like a beard emerges from the wood. The hilt is wrapped in white strapping of some sort, and the pommel has a ring hole from one side to the other, and three spikes, one on the bottom, two on the sides.]

A SWORD THAT STEALS THE VICTIMS AGE AND ADDS IT TO THE WIELDERS

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Image Transcription: Text

[Centred, white on a black background:]

There's no place like

~

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Image Transcription: Comic

Panel 1

[A green snake and a green turtle are facing one another on a plain pink background.]

Snake: I want to be a good programmer!

Panel 2

[The turtle's mouth is open.]

Turtle: Just pretend you're already a good programmer

Panel 3

[A close up on the snake, showing only its head, with the turtle offscreen. The background is now purple.]

Snake: When should I stop pretending?

Turtle: Never

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Image Transcription: Code

    
bool is_prime(int x)
    return false;
}

  

[Beneath the code is a snippet of console output, as follows:]

    
test no.99989: passed
test no.99990: passed
test no.99991: failed
test no.99992: passed
test no.99993: passed
test no.99994: passed
test no.99995: passed
test no.99996: passed
test no.99997: passed
test no.99998: passed
test no.99999: passed
95.121% tests passed

  

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Image Transcription: Comic

[An Engineer Helping A Designer]

Panel 1

[Two people stand in front of a computer. One, the designer, has blue hair with a full beard and moustache, with sideburns, and a large nose. The other, the engineer, has brown hair and wears a hoodie. The engineer is typing at the computer, with a window up on the screen, while the designer stands with their arms limp by their sides.]

Engineer: No problem, we can fix this on the terminal

Panel 2

[The designer has their hand up to their beard, with wide eyes and a mouth rounded by amazement. The designer has a slightly confused expression, eyebrows frowning a little.]

Designer: Whoa, you're a hacker!

Engineer: No, it's just the terminal.

Panel 3

[The designer has their hands in the air, their mouth wide open, their eyebrows arced and both eyes looking in opposite directions in a look of bafflement. The engineer is rolling their eyes.]

Designer: Where are all the buttons, icons, and dropdown menus?

Panel 4

[Now with both hands to their beard, the designer has returned to their look of amazement, but with a hint of fear in their eyes, their pupils contracted to tiny white dots. The engineer looks relatively unphased.]

Designer: Is this... the matrix?

Engineer: Yes.

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Image Transcription: Twitter

Giray Özil, @girayozil

Ask a programmer to review 10 lines of code, he'll find 10 issues. Ask him to do 500 lines and he'll say it looks good.

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