You put so much effort into your post but my simplistic answer is: we put TV trays next to the players. Like the kind you use while sitting on a couch, not lap trays - the ones that have legs down to the floor.
My partner and I are playing Lego Fortnite of all things. We're having a good time. Played a lot of Lego Star Wars when it was new. Lego Lord of the Rings had a couple frustrating bugs that we got fed up with and kept us from finishing it.
In general with Lego LOTR and Lego Star Wars I recall being disappointed that a lot of the building was scripted - "hold to build". Lego Fortnite has a nice mix of full-building blueprints and freeform piece placement, although it's not quite block-by-block pieces.
Fortnite. My friend wanted to play the Guitar Hero mode. Also playing Lego Fortnite some, which is kinda Minecraft-y. Occasionally some Zero Build battle royale.
Oh yeah I'm totally aware it is an unpopular opinion. I feel the need to bite my tongue every time there is a thread recommending it because I know I'm in the minority, and the person receiving the recommendations will probably enjoy it :)
Tried to play this with my wife some years ago. We kept getting sent to separate instances. That and the poor quality graphics at the time were a deal breaker for us.
You put so much effort into your post but my simplistic answer is: we put TV trays next to the players. Like the kind you use while sitting on a couch, not lap trays - the ones that have legs down to the floor.