What PC do you have? Is it company's PC with locked BIOS?
Did you set the bootable flag on the usb partition?
Can you test the capacity of the flash drive and verivy it's not fake?
As others have suggested that you have depression. I disagree. You wouldn't say that your life is basic, you would say that life is miserable. (you shouldn't take medical advice and diagnosis from internet). I think you are feeling Empty.
I always thought there was something more to life and something I am missing.
You thought correct.
its really just the same no matter where you end up
Yes, because feeling empty is not caused by lack of something physical, instead it is caused by something more esoteric, spiritual or abstract.
To „Cure” the emptiness you can do two things:
Engage in spiritual practice of your choosing. - It doesn't need to be the one you were born into, as you have traveled quite a way you can choose one that feels right. Beware as Lemmy is VERY hostile to any notion of spirituality.
Find Signifiant Other. The connection and Love will fill your life to have something special as no other person on earth will have the exact same experience. You wont have to live only for yourself. You could live for others and then life stops being basic.
Of course there are other ways to fill the void inside of you but they are way harder as they are non standard. So pick your battles.
Oh! We are pretty evenly matched I challange you to a duel! HMU whan you have time