Leilys @ Leilys @lemmy.dbzer0.com

Posts

4

Comments

58

Joined

2 yr. ago

My interests are like that other meme that got shared here recently, lol. I'm a jack of many, many trades, and I can't ever seem to complete projects I start, though I am trying more now.

For people like me, being stuck monetising a single interest strikes this deep sense of unease in me. I've been working a few years now, and I've decided to stick to something I'm not passionate about, but I can do the job to my abilities and put a lid on at the end of the day.

Anything else would probably consume my thoughts and leave me feeling mentally exhausted. It's like task paralysis, but worse.

I agree. Society was not built upon accomodating the neurodivergent, and we've had to struggle a lot as a result. I've also thought about it a lot as well, so there's nothing wrong with that.

I spent a lot of time growing up wondering why I wasn't "normal", like everyone else. I grew up unable to socialise well with my peers and unable to keep up academically with the demands of my academic environment. I was always struggling to stay awake in class, or focus on a subject I desperately needed to learn. I had to drop out of the sciences because I was struggling horribly and my teacher treated me quite badly for my lack of ability to keep up.

I wonder now if I could've done better if my parents were aware of ADHD and had gotten me the help I very desperately needed, because my mother is still in denial to this day that I'm anything but normal, only lazy, selfish and inconsiderate. I was called a lot of horrible things because of things I couldn't control. I developed depression, but frequent therapy and counseling as of late has reduced how intense the mood swings are.

So, given a choice, I likely would've wished to be more normal in my own eyes.

When I went into university and met incredibly accepting and loving people, I really thrived. It's just sad that many like us have to struggle undiagnosed for such a long time, only to realise that with medication, managing our shortcomings would have been made so much more achievable.

I still spend a lot of my time unmedicated because I've come to accept and love myself, including the ADHD diagnosis that I got on my own last year. The diagnosis helped me find mechanisms that actually work for me, and I'm better off for that.

I am no less of a person in my own eyes, but the judgement of a society is a lot of weight to bear.

I have ADHD, so music helps me maintain focus when I'm (usually) unmedicated. That being said, I do have a very strong media dependency, so I get where you're coming from.

I click on titles I find interesting, but I'm personally not a scroller. But I have friends that do go down that rabbit hole for large chunks of time at a time.

Short form content can be scarily addicting.

I'll split it into games your daughter could play, and some that could be fun to watch and get her to interact with. This is coming from someone who was playing Pinball 3D in preschool, so your mileage when bringing up a gaming child may vary.

One thing I haven't seen here is casual games. The less deep stuff that can still provide a lot of entertainment for kids that may just be starting to get a hang of things like computer mice and keyboard controls.

Alice Greenfingers (1 and 2) is a casual farm game featuring the titular character starting her own farm and selling the produce. No keyboard controls, just mouse controls and it was a pretty great introduction for me as a kid to finer motor movements.

The Diner Dash series is also a pretty good one to start. They have some variations, I know there's a detective game under the franchise that you could get input from your daughter on as you go through to encourage interaction.

There's the FATE (the WildTangent one, not the anime one) games, where it was one of the first games I remember that let me create my own female character. It's a diablo ripoff with much simpler mechanics. Gameplay can be repetitive but it's still a very fun, mouse-heavy game I still go back to. You can also choose between a cat and dog pet, and feed them special fish you find to turn them into awesome creatures like flaming unicorns!! (I'm sorry, I really love this game) i it's certainly playable with not much reading skill and therefore should be okay for a child, even if there's your standard combat violence.

For games that are fun to watch, I remember playing a Hello Kitty game for the PS2. There's still elements like hitting things, but it's overall a much cuter aesthetic.

There's also a PS2 Avatar: The Last Airbender video game that's based on the show (highly recommended watch even for kids), so you could relive the show you've just watched by playing the game with them. It's 2 player.

Crash Bandicoot Warped - while you play often as Crash, in the latest game I think it's possible to play everything as his sister Coco, who was already the only choice for some stages in the original game. Violence is mild, and was also one of my early games growing up. Fun to watch and play for kids.

I think there's a game called Infinity Nikki (PS4, PS5, PC, Android) that's a dress up platformer game. New outfits unlock different skills. The only issue is I've never played it, and it seems like microtransactions may inevitably come into play. Take caution. It's a crazy pretty game, though...

The Marvelous Miss Take (PC, and some consoles iirc) is a stealth game about a young woman trying to pull off several art heists. It features a female main character and is generally quite fun.

Hope this helps :)

I wish you guys all the fun!

Man, I remember laying my hands on Pokémon Blue before I could even read most of the words there. My uncle had bought it for my cousin brother who was 4 years younger than me, lol.

The older Pokémon games are a linear enough experience that literacy helps, but isn't required since as a child they'll likely explore everything anyway and will eventually trigger the right flags to allow for progress. I played like that up till RSE.

I like soups/broth. I put a bit of stock in, soy sauce, and then anything I please. Only takes one pot, set, cook and eat.

If I'm feeling indulgent I'll have rice to go with it. If I'm feeling healthy, I'll buy firm tofu and put a bit in too. Tofu also helps reduce post-lunch carb-induced food comas

Gosh, sorry to hear that. I'm also "functional", but I'm that duck paddling madly underwater to get anywhere.

I thought my psychiatrist was also going to say I'm normal because my parents insisted I was when I gave them the childhood ADHD assessment form.

I read a few questions to my mother because she didn't want to read it herself, and stopped at about 5 before giving it to my dad to fill out. The final question being: "Does your child have trouble completing schoolwork or household tasks?"

Her answer: (on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being normal and 5 being very bad ADHD) 1, you didn't have trouble, you're just lazy.

All my life, hearing "you have potential, but you're just lazy", or "I didn't see you dozing off playing games". No, I'm not lazy, and yes, I have fallen asleep gaming, multiple times.

I hope you'll be able to find that diagnosis or at least proper support for your struggles. Just because we function, doesn't mean we can't function even better with help and medication.

I'm guiltily looking at my drop corner and I don't like being called out like this. But, I have gotten better about only leaving non urgent things (read: won't develop roaches and ants) lying about for too long.

1. I can get overstimulated now ._. I don't know if it's just a me thing, but my partner took me out to the shops while my medication was in effect and I reached a point where the colours and varieties suddenly was too much, and we had to step out while I tried to recover. It was a totally new experience since I guess normal ADHD brain discards irrelevant (and sometimes relevant) information quickly like nobody's business, but medicated brain doesn't do that as much.
2. Staying awake when I'm bored. I was working in companies with long ass meetings for 3 years before I got diagnosed and I've been falling asleep in classes for even longer. I've slapped myself, pinched, drank water, washed my face, and all it took was medication for that uncontrollable exhaustion to...disappear. No more shame for something that I've been completely unable to help. It's a massive change.

I'm in my 40s and I'm retroactively angry about my life.

I'm a lot younger, but I can relate. It feels like we've been robbed of a much better life we could've had, had we known sooner.

Medication really made a huge difference in my quality of performance in life. No more embarrassement about being unable to help dozing off in meetings and looking like a fool. I've microslept at the wheel several times before and medications completely eliminated that. It's the only way I'd reasonably trust myself to do long outstation drives.

Although, I do have a story about the first small road trip I did with my partner after being prescribed. 3h drive both ways, and both times I only remembered that I was supposed to take my medication (on an empty stomach) halfway into my meals. I still made the drive with support, but it was a lot tougher than it needed to be, lol.

I make a lot of jokes about medication since I take it now but I do have an underlying fear of developing substance addictions, so I'd like to look into psychotherapy to develop even more unmedicated life management skills when I can afford it.

Gosh, I can relate with the depression though. I think struggling with symptoms of ADHD pushed me into depression. I used to have outbursts and crying meltdowns as a teenager, but it stopped when I went into university and met supportive friends. But my mood cycles and occasionally I can get very fixated on negative thoughts that will just drain me and ruin my day. Been considering medication, talked to my psychiatrist (who also has ADHD and understands) about it, but haven't started yet.

If you're not always on medication, like me, I try to actively do a few things:

1. Set things up for yourself. Think of future you like a separate person you're trying to help out.

I generally have problems with going to bed on time (it's still 2:30am, but I'm working on it...), and I realised that I could go to bed more immediately if I brushed my teeth when I took my shower so I wouldn't get into task paralysis doomscrolling on my bed and either staying up way too late or falling asleep with bad oral hygiene.

Other things is like putting out the laundry basket in the middle of your path the night before so it's easier to grab it and bring it over to the washing machine the next morning. I use Google assistant to set a timer now so I'm more likely to remember to hang the clothes out to dry. It's not perfect, but I've at least had to rewash my clothes less due to me forgetting.

2. Setting a timer and time limit to do a thing.

There's still that agony of "oh god I have to do a thing", but on days you really need to get small (but seemingly insurmountable) tasks done, I make a list of all the tasks I need to do, write a number next to the task in the order I have to do it, and then note down roughly how long it takes to do something.

Then, I set the timer, and set it to count down. It provides just a little additional push to start doing things, even if it's an absolute slog.

P.S. could you tell me more about how your task paralysis and workaholism would impact you? That seems quite interesting

My partner was also the one who suggested that might have ADHD. It sort of made sense to at least try since I'd been struggling with being "normal" since I was about 8, so I gave it a shot.

So I got diagnosed last year as an adult. Getting diagnosed doesn't immediately change anything (well, no shit), but it can help you be better informed when developing systems to make your life more functional.

For example, having things you need to do a task close by on hand. By having a small trash can on my desk, compared to just a bigger bin on the other side of my room, I no longer pile up trash on my desk forever before throwing it away once I run out of room.

In regards to medication, if you've managed to make it this far and hold down a job like me, you're likely to be prescribed some short acting medication to start for days you really need to get things done.

I have inattentive type ADHD and I take Ritalin 10mg only on days I need to either get a lot of work done, or when I have long meetings to attend because I struggle to stay awake when I'm unengaged.

Before this was all suggested to me, I honestly thought I was narcoleptic because I was always such a sleepy person when I'm bored. It took having a mutual friend get diagnosed for my partner to realise similarities, and then me getting diagnosed to realise that the friends I attract tend to be "different" themselves.

My parents continue to refuse to acknowledge that I'm anything but neurotypical, which had made my younger years a lot harder than I wished it could've been.

The diagnosis just helped me be more aware about the specific challenges I have to face, like task paralysis, or the compulsive filling in I do when a friend pauses too long in the middle of a sentence, or how I struggle to remember things when I get distracted. The ADHD was always a part of you, but now you can find life hack tips that actually work!

Best wishes, from a fellow late-diagnosed person :)

How is your experience with the framework? I've been eyeing it as my next upgrade but it is a bit pricy so I'm saving up for it at the moment.

Looking at the pricing for the Framework 16 (prebuilt with Windows, to benchmark), it's just under x2 the price of the Acer Nitro 5 my partner bought last year with a 3050. Not the worst proposition assuming most of the laptop's components make it 10 years and the only upgrades/replacements are to CPU, GPU and battery.

The main concern is longevity since it's a relatively new company. It needs early adopters to commit that initial investment and pay the extra now for the company to survive and scale, and it needs staying power and time in the market in order to attract more confidence and convert sales.

I would like to see it succeed since my personal goal is to just reduce the e-waste I contribute as a heavy tech user. Laptops are just e-waste walking at the moment so I think any reduction to throwing out the whole thing every time it starts to fall behind current developments is good.

Awareness is growing and there is a demand. We just have to see if the demand is great enough to push user repairability in tech.

I have been following the developments for Framework, and really hope the modular design for laptops will go the way of the usb in adoption throughout the industry. We could benefit from less becoming e-waste.

In some countries that have lower currencies, a AAA game (like Cyberpunk) on PC or a Switch game (think Pokémon) can cost up to 5 days of minimum wage, even with some regional pricing.

Piracy makes gaming somewhat affordable since PCs may be available through cheaper 2nd hand markets and can be used for other purposes besides gaming.

Yeah, coming from a similar country, buying a Nintendo switch game would cost roughly 3 to 4 days of minimum wage, before tax.

Steam does go a long way to making indie games a lot more affordable though, but AAA games can still cost an absolute bomb. For hobbyists, having only subscription options for software like Photoshop is just too expensive to pay for when they make no income.

Based on the coverage I've seen and what I understand, likely there would be a new motherboard and larger base to house bigger parts and the screen would be maintained.

I do believe they'll be able to achieve the goal of making laptop lifespans last beyond 10 years, which is why we'd like ways to upgrade. I'm cautiously optimistic about developments here.