Krudler @ Krudler @lemmy.world

Posts

13

Comments

910

Joined

2 yr. ago

This is exactly what needs to be said. Thank you!

When I did my 4 years of attachment therapy, and I gave it everything I had, I could literally feel the structure of my brain changing.

Not thought patterns changing (which they did) I'm talking about the actual physical structure of my brain. New pathways were forged and old ones closed forever. It very much reminded me of how I could feel my brain developing when I was teaching myself to program at the age of 13-16... and thinking so hard that my brain felt like it was literally overheating.

It's a crazy experience to have as a human - to literally not be able to construct old thought, or emotion frameworks, because the physical structure required for them doesn't exist anymore. To have memories reduced to "that happened" while no longer being able to recall any relevant details.

Don't lie to yourself.

Every moment of their lives is filled with hatred, fear, misery and self-loathing though.

It is not possible to make the following statements and have them both be true: "I feel nothing" "I'm miserable". So it's clear they are in a world of deep emotional pain and burden, and that simply existing is a form of relentless torture.

Nobody deserves to feel or live that way. There's nothing "centered" :(

edit: But JOY! It doesn't need to be that way. I'm living proof that internal change is possible because I used to feel the way that man feels.

It's such a nutty claim for me to make... but I really believe any person on the Web circa 97-2005 and was involved in any kind of Web-based gaming has directly played at least one. Shockwave, Flash, Facebook no difference.

If you played any kind of web- or Internet-enabled, State-run lottery product anywhere in the world between 2010-2015 I would bet my actual life. And since the games I made were all localized for international audiences they were world-wide!

If you've been on a Riverboat Casino in the past 2 decades you've 100% played because I ran the game studio that made the games for a major supplier of riverboat Video Lottery Terminal games.

Holy shit... I never actually stopped and realized how many lives my crappy games touched....

What reparations are owed to the Indigenous people of the Vietnamese highlands, perpetrated against them for centuries against the other Indigenous people of the Vietnam lowlands?

Honestly, it's just fun to blow leaves or snow. It's a mindless puttering activity that lets you improve your home area and be mildly active.

Unfortunately what happens is people's general tendency to think about themselves and nobody else. So they're self-satisfied in their reasons for being out there, not thinking about the dude next door that works nights and can't sleep, and even his construction-grade noise headphones don't help. Or the dude that just wants to listen to jazz quietly.

The leaf blower people are well-meaning people with mild mental illness who are just selfish enough not to realize their home/self care is annoying others. e: A lot of times the guy just needs to get the F away from their spouse. I've lived near leaf blower people and they're invariably older married (sometimes retired) men. Never women.

Help is available. I mean it and I will help you find more help. You don't deserve to suffer in the way you've described.

This comment is magic lol

The cruel reality is that humans kill and steal from each other in competition for resources and security. Doesn't matter if it's a bullet to the head or a dishonored agreemen. Land belongs to nobody, and whoever shows up and beats the fuck out of whoever's there now "owns" it. It is very hard for people to look at several hundred K of years of human history and realize it's always been this way and never will change.

I made several hundred games over my 20+ year career. I started making games for the world's first touchscreen internet-enabled kiosks, the Playdium arcade in Toronto, etc. Moved onto online game development as senior dev for GameLoft.com, made the first online pari-mutuel gaming system, introduced online lottery technology to the world's "Big 3" lotto companies. Made the first 3D tennis game. Honestly too much to even discuss as I could go on for hundreds of pages. Most people who are older than 30 have played my games and wouldn't know it.

I gave everything away and now I live a simple life where I volunteer, work at crisis shelters, do recovery mentorship, housing outreach and other things. I am happy and I do not care about the trappings of the material world anymore. I chased the hologram until I caught it and discovered its true nature.

Just as casual conversation, what items or categories of goods do you usually deal with? Just wondering, as I myself have noticed "the boat" rocking back and forth between different online buying options for years. I live a pretty minimalist life now (used to be heavy tech) so I don't buy much anymore and am pretty out of the loop now.

Effectively ALL of what I was told about what makes a satisfying and successful life. I was told the right thing to do is work hard, go to school, get a good stable job, get married, settle down, have kids, buy a house, own several depreciating assets.

Life is about being happy. Nothing else. Do what makes you happy, because that car, vacation, or other piece of consumer shit won't. Nor will living by scripts somebody else wrote for you.

I had my house paid off at 30 and was traveling 5-6 times a year. High-level in the gaming, lottery and promotions industries. Misery. Now I have a humble life and I paint and craft things and I go dancing. And I'm happy. I could pick up the tools again and make a highly successful Steam game, but I won't. I already proved my point in my career and creative output, and I don't want to anymore.

I personally put 4 needles in a young male community member... hip, shoulder, buttock...

When he came to within 3 minutes he was refusing medical treatment and literally running away.

Four days ago I found out from a former coworker/friend that he just OD'ed and died. His name was Riley B

There is no maximum dose of Narcan and more won't harm a person. The general guideline is every 2-3 minutes until revival or death.

Chest compressions can kill an overdosing person if their heart is still beating, so not always chest compressions. This is the scariest decision to me...

I've worked in crisis shelters so I have wayyyyyyy more exposure to OD'ing people than anybody ever should :(

Did you try installing Linux tho

Kindly do not portray DDG as an "alternative" because it is now trash as well.

2 years ago it was the alternative, today its a sidegrade at best

Tolerance is part of the equation, but breathing and circulation play a huge role too

If a nasal spray is administered but the person isn't breathing it will still be absorbed, but if oxygen levels are low af it's going to take more time, therefore you keep pumping the narcan until you're sure. When I'm standing over an OD'ing street kid, I'm taking NO chances.

Same thing with intramuscular injections. Yes the drug is in the body but circulation helps a lot and if the heart has slowed or stopped... well. You keep pumping shots of narcan until they die or come back.

Final most important is that the user or person attending may believe the user took fent, but they probably had a dangerous street concoction consisting of fent + any other number of who-knows-what. Often referred to as "down". There's absolutely no way to know if they need more narcan because of tolerance or something else

edit: At the end of it all, there is no way after the fact to determine what the "correct" amount of narcan was for that situation. It is highly situational and depends on many factors. The rule is if you're not sure, more narcan, because this ain't the time to guess wrong.

Why spend $12 on an easily replaceable battery when you can just use $11.97 worth of 18650's and six hours of your life?