Ignacio [he] @ Ignacio @beehaw.org

Spanish guy, who likes open source software and has just discovered the fed

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2 yr. ago

I don't know whether you're using other fediverse services, but here is a link that only shows nice servers: https://fedi.garden/

About toxicity and negativity, I'm only on two Mastodon servers, two Lemmy servers (active only here), and on Kbin. Depending on where you're engaging, you can notice more or less of those bad traits, but their levels are sickening to me. Two or three days ago I commented to a reply I was given, stating what I thought about their opinion. And suddenly I was involved in that toxicity and other bad behaviours made by other random people.

Things can be said in another way, in a nicer and good faithful way, but people consider that, because you cannot see the other party in the conversation, they can behave however they want without consequences for them. But there are consequences, and unfortunately they're for the receiver. I'm sure outside internet those behaviours would be more limited, in general.

And this is not something that occurs recently or during the last 5 years. I've been browsing internet since 2006, and it was as bad as it is now, just with other intermediaries, like online chats, forums, etc. People don't have legitimacy to act in any way they want, but they do nonetheless. And here is my last thought. What if you are toxic to an user, on the other side of your screen, who happens to have depression or other mental disorders, and you don't know that fact? Would you feel OK knowing that you're driving someone to hurt themselves, or worse?

I've faith on Beehaw, because I notice admins and moderators are really serious about being nice, and conversations, as far as I can notice, are superb. We all just need to defend this way of acting, pointing out the bad actors and censuring their bad actions.

I did my part, and I like this kind of feedback. Keep doing a good job!

Sorry, I didn't write correctly what I meant. I meant calling someone names, like "you're this" or "you're that", just because you have a different opinion than mine.

I've only seen brigades from hexbear on other instances I don't belong, but I understand that it's a thing we need to deal with, using proper and more effective moderation tools. Defederation can also be a solution, temporary in this case, until the admins of that instance control, somehow, the brigaders so they stop brigading.

I mean, I can behave in any way I want in my own house, because it's my own house. But when I'm in someone else's house, I never think about behaving in that same way, unless I want to face consequences, even before a court of justice. Instances are like houses, and communities are like rooms, and you have to follow the rules of the place you're interacting on.

I always avoid communities related to politics because of that reason. There are other reasons, like a big focus on US politics or being feed with politics 24 hours per day every day.

But I noticed an increasing amount of hostility in other communities as well, not related directly to politics. For example, in those communities about Ukraine, there is always the usual tankie spreading strong words and what not. Or when there is a post about defederating certain instance, it seems that people take it personally and swear words are easily launched.

People can say the same things in a good way, being nice and polite. There is no need to troll or make others feel shitty. It also depends on what instance you're on, but for the most part, it's on us how we want this to become into: either a civil place to discuss everything, or Reddit 2.0.

Something I really miss from YouTube channels, blogs and other media is that they don't talk about atomoxetine or guanfacine, like they don't even exist. They only talk about methylphenidate. Which is good, I tried it for 3 months and it helped me. But for people who can't take stimulants, for whatever reason, it seems discouraging when they can't read anything about non-stimulants.

Despite that, it's a great post.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

Most of people, if not all, come from Reddit (me included). Depending on how you behaved there, that behaviour can be brought to other places, like Lemmy/Kbin. People have the right to defend their own ideas or opinions, but that doesn't mean they have the right to be rude, argumentative, mean or whatever.

Most of communities/magazines have rules to avoid people be very out of boundaries, like no bigotry or no hate speech, and I'm happy that those rules are enforced and respected. But I think a big mistake of moderators is that they stop writing more rules because bigotry and hate speech are the real evil. What about good manners? What about being nice to each other, even when disagreeing? What about remembering the human? If I were on lemmy.world and you were on lemmy.ml, and I called you stupid because you like oatmeal... is that bigotry? Is that hate speech? What is it? How do you define that behaviour to write a rule not to follow?

Beehaw is great because there is one single general rule to all communities: be(e) nice. Other communities can put other rules to be more specific about what is tolerable and what is not, but being nice is always at the top. I wish other communities/magazines/instances did the same thing.

That's one of the reasons I block every community/magazine focused on politics, no matter the country they're related on. Although European politics tend to be more civil than US politics. But I'm tired of too much polarization and lack of civil discourse. Tankies don't help either, and luckily for us, exploding-heads is leaving Lemmy.

My brother got COVID, and he infected me as well. Tuesday was a bit shit during the evening, Wednesday was totally shit, the whole day, and today it seems better, but it's still shit nonetheless.

That's why I didn't joint them either. I mean, I could join lemmy.ca because, even being located and focused in Canada, English is used. But feddit.de or feddit.ch, well, I can't talk neither German nor Czech, so you're also right about that.

Most of the admins are Europeans and the server is also hosted in Europe (currently).

Yes, and that's really confusing. I mean, I respect the fact about posting US news where they belong and news from other countries where they belong too (I don't like it, but I respect it). But while I browse all on Kbin, 90% of the content is about US, and I'm tired of blocking US communities every time they appear on my feed.

We defederated with both the extreme left and right instances. Which instance are you talking about?

Back in the day, some weeks or last month, or whenever it happened, I read some public disagreements about why lemmy.world didn't defederate exploding-heads when they defederated lemmygrad. Why so much time with the heads and no time with the grads.

Everyone is free to start a community on our instance as long as they have active moderators and follow the rules

Obviously. But again, while browsing all on Kbin, the only thing I see is content from lemmy.world, while content from similar communities on other instances, although being there, it's either invisible or at the very bottom. To the point I had to block that instance, so my feed will be enriched by other instances.

I spend most of the time on Kbin, sometimes lurking and sometimes commenting on different posts.

I can't talk about sh.itjust.works because I rarely see content from that instance. Sometimes a meme, or sometimes a techie news post. But very rarely, as I said. If you stay federated or defederated with sh.itjust.works, I don't really care, because I don't really know that place or the content it's published there.

However, I strongly prefer to stay defederated from lemmy.world. I really can't understand why an instance with the .world domain is so US-centric. I don't give a shit about Iowa, Idaho, Florida, Montana, Texas, California or whatever posts from related communites I see while browsing all on Kbin. Besides, being myself anti-nazi, anti-fascist and anti-tankie, I support when other instances defederate from far-right and far-left instances, but I don't understand why they defederate instantly from certain instances and take some time to defederate from other certain instances. It's sad, but lemmy.world is the most similar thing to reddit right now, and it seems that they want to monopolize everything, because there are communities on other instances, as well as on Kbin, that have few activity, if any, in favour of .world ones.

And then there is a cryptic reply to a comment I made on another post.

Half good, half bad.

Let's start for the bad:

• It's been a week since I stopped taking melatonin before going to sleep. I reach my dreamworld as easily as with the pill, but somehow my sleep is light and I wake up earlier... and I feel sleepy along the day.
• Sometimes I feel like I need to things I did when I wasn't medicated. Like learning this or that language because yes. And giving up shortly after because yes.

Now, the good news:

• I met a woman (transgender) on a dating app. Although she only writes me once per day, while I'm sleeping, we're talking for 5 days already. She seems legit. But given my previous bad experiences dating women from other countries online (again, when I wasn't diagnosed), I've some concerns: Will she want a LDR? How long will it last? ...?

ITS NOT COMMUNISM GUYS, ITS FASCISM!

Most communists are closeted fascists. Poor souls.

Yes, you're right. Sometimes I think that communism is merely an economic system. But thinking about Stalin, Mao and Il-Sung, whose communist developments where economic, social, democratic and whatnot, it's sometimes hard to discriminate the noise from the useful information too.

Besides, I can't understand why communists / tankies are so prone to support dictators. Dictatorship is not exclusive to communism, even capitalism had and has some kind of dictatorships: Hungary, Belarus...

I have enough luck to have joint instances that don't federate with fascists, being they red or not. However, when one of those instances decide to federate with them (not going to happen, but let's pretend), I'll protest like you're doing. And if it doesn't work, I'll go to a more inclusive instance.

Don't get me wrong, I fully understand that a fascist is not the same thing as a communist. But they're equally despicable.

There is a supermarket where I live whose almost all products are gluten free. We don't buy them because they're gluten free, but because they're generally cheaper than other supermarkets, having gluten or not. I think that bread and other pastries are the only products that are not gluten free, but I don't care.

When an online forum, social network, blog, etc. has a lot of users, it's easier that bad elements are present inside those communities. That's something that not only happens online, but in general. Compare a tiny village with 1.000 inhabitants, to a big city with 7.000.000 inhabitants. Where do you think there are more murderers, robbers, kidnappers...?

But defederation must not be the most useful resource to avoid those bad elements. You can't place a dome above that big city with 7.000.000 inhabitants to avoid those murderers from going to other places and starting murdering. Good laws and police officers can do really good to minimize the damage. In the same way, good admins and moderators can really improve how nice a server is.

It's true that when another server has bad policies or bad admins, we can't do their job from here, because that's not only our responsibility. If we do the hard work while they do nothing, it's obvious that defederation can be a good tool, until situation improves over there. But that's one thing, and another thing is complete and absolute defederation. Nobody deserves that, and, in the end, everything will be detrimental.

As time passes, people will realize that things in the fediverse are completely different to things on Twitter, Reddit, Facebook, Instagram... and they'll adapt their bad behaviour, influenced by those trash places, to a more healthy one.

I did. But I can't remember the link right now, it was in March.