All distros are exactly the same. Theres no such thing as a "distro for experienced users". With that said, just do a minimal install of (pretty much anything you want).
For a second I really thought there was "something else" behind the "nobody" user -- considering its a "typically suggested" user to be used within docker containers (even in some "known" commands/Dockerfiles). So all I need to do then to create a user with the least amount of privileges is to not give it a home directory and a shell? Eh.
Eh... for home servers, when you want to take a quick glance at the files (maybe you are running a script that copies files around after some time...?). Then again, I don't really find em useful when I have ls -al shoved inside my brain. It's (kind of) "second nature" at this point.
Theres a free to play MMORPG called FFXIV with a free and unlimited trial that can get you sorted. But if you really, REALLY want to meet new folks (only)... then your best bet is to hit a nearby bar, grab a seat, drink and do some small talk with random folk.
Chrono Trigger for the "trippy" story.
Pretty much any NES game for the "gamer" soundtrack (beep bops.)