If you actually take an active role in the process (constantly stirring AND adding moisture back in) instead of just bunging them in the pan and walking away you absolutely can caramelize onions in like 10-15 mins.
People that say otherwise are just lazy chefs, which is fine, but your way is not the only way to achieve the same results.
Could you not use a keygen or grab a serial from somewhere to get a "valid" key and block the app from the internet via firewall to prevent the check from calling home?
Sorry I'm not familiar with how this specific game checks validity.
Users are probably reporting less too since mods are useless now after the API debacle resulted in many of the ones who gave a shit getting ousted or neutered.
I certainly stopped bothering since they fully committed to becoming a (n even bigger) cesspit.
Omelette du Fromage.