GhostFence @ GhostFence @lemmy.world

Posts

4

Comments

188

Joined

1 yr. ago

They have children doing tobacco farming. Tobacco. Farming. 'nuff said right there. This country is trash.

Wow, I just rando browse this site and came upon this. Ten minutes later I am seeing a REMARKABLE improvement in my internet performance. Thank you!

Slave racket? That's a severe overexaggeration. Can we please not use such loaded and extremist words for the issue of male DV victims?

Rarely do I ever hear such sage wisdom, well said!

That's kind of a hyperbole, there are resources and advocates for men in Canada.

Thank you for that balanced take on this issue.

Lesbian partner violence stats are also shocking. It's as if everyone can be an abuser.

The rest of us are having a civil conversation here, what's got you enraged?

Does that mean they go on intercontiental holidays to 5 star hotels? No. Does that mean they can afford food, heat, shelter and the ability to start a family? Yes.

Going on intercontinental holidays to 5 star hotels off profits from low wages is how socialism for the rich works. The rich then use this fact to say socialism is bad. I've seen kittens do less to a ball of yarn in a fit of rage than the Plutocrats have done with people's minds with their propaganda.

Hey can we please be civil here?

Tact does matter. That is why I say "seeking cis man/woman" is better than "no trans man/woman". "No black people" is bad, "prefer SWM/SWF" is better and acceptable IMO (disclaimer: I'm black), "looking for athletic man/woman" is better than "no fat people", etc., just my opinion.

Very good points, thanks for that perspective.

I think your gut feeling is correct, you were in fact being fetishized by the videos that she showed you. I have known Asian women who get red in the face at the whole "I love white guys" thing. I know white men who cringe at other white men and their obsession with Asian women. Fetishization is coming from both sides.

Glad that you feel able to open up here. I hope you and anyone else who stays open and tolerant to new ideas will have a safe space here.

Hi, here’s your coffee. Thanks, I’m trans.

IMHO a work colleague, etc. has no business knowing if you're LGBTQ. Only ever a potential dating partner.

If telling a potential dating partner about your LGBTQ status is tiring and awkward then IMHO it is fully our bleeping fault as a society, not the LGBTQ's person's fault. Society needs to work hard to correct that and I am 100% here for that. Though to be honest IMO the only time you ever (the word 'ever' in this case should be on a Times Square billboard in glowing lights) need to come out as LGBTQ is in a dating situation.

But now everyone should be free to live openly as LGBTQ anyway. They shouldn't have to "come out". I don't have to come out as cishetero in life. If I were single I'd identify as cishetero just so a LGBTQ person who doesn't want to date cishetero can swipe right by me on their way to someone they want, and I'm okay with that. I'd also identify as black and 5'11 so people who don't want to date black men or men under 6'2 can swipe by. Fine by me. If LGBTQ can't identify openly that's our fault, not theirs.

Trans people are marginalized af. Speaking as a black man, I am familiar with how that works. They're scared and they see where the roots of murdering trans people come from. It comes from people who say "Ewwww trans". Our society shames people who date trans people.

Remember that Married With Children episode where Bud Bundy dated a woman who mentioned him as her love and then came out on TV as trans and it destroyed him emotionally, and it was implied his almost non-existent social standing was put out of its misery for good by that incident? That's Truth in Television. Also see that quote/insult in the movie Aliens: "oh but the one you had was male!" (implying genderfluid/trans/etc). That's our real life society right now.

When a trans person attacks and judges someone over who they refuse to date, that's a reaction to being oppressed. It's wrong, it's ironic, but the fear behind it is justified. Calling out and fighting this ironic hypocrisy cannot stand alone, it must be accompanied by a validation and understanding of their fear, which is legitimate, and an increased effort to stop the hate that is fueling their fear. We've seen what happens over and over again when we fail to pair the two together: the legitimately aggrieved group (and more than one group does this) starts saying "we're laughing at you as a class and you're afraid of being a target of that, but we're afraid of you killing us" and dialog aimed at achieving meaningful progress toward equality takes a big fat hit due to the unnecessary antagonism.

Congratulations on being married!

A transwoman (my best interpretation) means someone born male who took hormones to become female, and maybe an operation to exchange a penis for a vagina. A transwoman is completely a woman, they were just not assigned female at birth.

All else being the same, if she had been born with a penis, wouldn’t care. Among 100 other things, I so love her femininity.

See, I support this freedom to choose who you want to be with.

Am I embarrassing myself? Sure feels like it. Never had any trans friends, or even known any trans folks. Anyhow, I hope you understand I’m on your side, all the way. (That’s not a cutesy slogan. I train, I carry, I mean it with all my heart. If it comes to it, no one is going on a train if I can help it.)

Well it's not like half the populace is trans. They make up at most 3% of the overall population. There are whole regions of America where they don't exist or are very much hiding who they are. You may have a trans friend and not even know it.

BTW do you have any connection to the John Brown gun club? I'm not close friends with their members but just wondering.

I am one of those bottom 80% men aka "far less-than-Jason Momoa level handsome" dudes who met my wife on Match. Apps aren't inherently bad. I am looking forward at the world my now 12 year old son will inherit when he one day hits the apps, or dates someone in person.

Speaking as one who did adopt a child, hooboy, that is WAY off. Adoption is wildly expensive. Worse yet, remember the movie Constantine where he visited hell? That scene describes the *bureaucracy *that you have to go through to adopt a child. And that's domestic adoption, let's not talk about a child from overseas.

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2021/10/adopt-baby-cost-process-hard/620258/

"Adoption is a thing" vastly, tragically understates the difficulty involved in adopting a child. If you want kids and are fertile, it's beyond insanely easier to make a baby of your own.

And that's before we get into the ethics (or lack thereof) of shaming someone who wants biological kids of their own.

Thank you for this response. I can totally understand your points. The true transphobes out there have given a bad name for anyone who only dates CIS people.

Rather than pushing to have people explain why they prefer CIS only to show they're not transphobes, I would propose a compromise: these same people should not be questioned about their preferences but they also should not offended by trans people or those who date them. Help make a society where trans people aren't second class citizens. Though some people will say "only dating CIS people makes trans people second class citizens no matter the reason" and I really can't hope to satisfy them. I think we go down a dangerous road if we start demanding why someone doesn't want to date someone else and they haven't given off OTHER bigoted vibes.

I don't think there's a solution that is going to make everyone happy but I'm willing to join the dialog (in good faith) to keep tinkering until we find the best one that respects everyone's freedom of choice.

Not me. I'll happily get to know and befriend LGBTQ. And go vigilante if I see them being threatened. I have a 12 year old son and if he wants to date a transgirl she's welcome in my house as his girlfriend.