Fondots @ Fondots @lemmy.world

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2 yr. ago

Mist people cheat,

Assuming that's supposed to be "most people"

There have been a lot of studies on this over the years, and the data is of course easy to skew because a lot of people are going to be reluctant to admit to their cheating, or people having different ideas about what constitutes "cheating" but every study I can find that seems credible, it seems to hover at more like 25% of people cheat, give or take maybe about 10%

Even when you look for people who have experienced a partner cheating on them most of the studies I can find have it at below 50%

You can get into the weeds and probably find some cases where most people in certain demographics cheat if you want to cherry-pick your data a bit.

So no, most people don't cheat.

And I do want to just reiterate that the harassment angle is really what you want to play up with the police.

I don't know the specifics of how policing and such works in your area, but there's a pretty big difference between "my neighborhood is an inconsiderate jerk who plays his music too loud" and "my neighbor is intentionally targeting me with loud music and sirens to disturb our sleep"

The first one is a noise complaint, that's low priority for the police and depending on where you are maybe not even a police issue but something like code enforcement.

The second one is a police issue, it's harassment. This will vary from one jurisdiction to another, but where I work depending on some of the details I might enter that as "suspicious activity" or even a "disturbance" (basically a fight) which should get police there with some urgency.

And some of the other things you've said, like him walking around outside with a frying pan, I could definitely make an argument for putting in those calls as a "wellbeing check" or "suspicious person," and if he's acting particularly threatening maybe even "armed subject," or possibly as a psych emergency to also send EMS to hopefully get him taken to a hospital for a psych eval.

I have a long, bushy beard (and curly handlebar moustache)

First of all, the hard truth is that not everyone can grow a decent beard. Vitamins, diet, etc. certainly won't hurt, but at a certain point you're up against genetics, and if your DNA says your beard is going to be thin and patchy, there's not much you can do about that except maybe hair transplants.

Age plays a factor, I have a friend who couldn't grow a decent beard until he was about 30.

Now assuming you've actually got enough hair growing in the right places

Most important is keeping it trimmed and neat-looking.

Until you've got a couple inches of beard going, I think it's best to keep your neck shaved, pick a point maybe an inch or two above your Adams apple, and keep everything below that shaved. Once you've got some beard going you can stop doing that, no one can see it anyway and at some point the neckbeard just becomes more beard.

Similarly, clean up your cheeks. You probably have a few scraggly hairs growing up above the rest of your beard, shave those off.

If you're a little brave, a straight razor is pretty nice for making some clean lines, you can be really precise with them. They make ones that use a disposable Blade if you're not into all the sharpening and stopping that goes with a traditional straight razor, I have one that uses a double edge blade snapped in half (they break very cleanly) but most of the time I just use a regular safety razor, or a disposable or cartridge razor would do the trick just fine

Especially when you're starting off, a beard trimmer or hair clippers are gonna be your best friend so you can trim it all down to an even length.

Figure out what you're doing with your sideburns. I shave my head, and ideally I like to have them fade into that, but I'm cheap and lazy so I only go to my barber to have that done a couple times a year when I need to look good for a wedding or whatever. Most of the time I just take my clippers to them and try to make them shorter up top and longer towards the bottom, it takes some practice and playing with the guards and such, and I've actually gotten pretty good at freehanding it, but it's not the fancy fade my barber can manage.

Once you've got some length, things get kind of easy, I tend to go for a longer, sort rectangular shape to my beard, I brush it out, and basically just cut off anything that isn't where I want it to be and any split ends d notice.

For soap/shampoo/conditioner/beard oil/balm, etc. you kind of need to figure out what works for you and your hair/skin type. My hair and skin are pretty forgiving, I could probably just about shower in acetone and be none the worse for it. I shower with doctor bronners for no particular reason other than I find their peppermint to be refreshing and I can buy it in a gallon jug, and since it's pretty concentrated a little goes a long way and I don't have to buy soap for a couple years, and I don't personally find any need to use any conditioner or beard balm/oil, etc. Other people find that Dr Bronners it really dries out their skin/hair so YMMV. I also find that it's pretty good at stripping the wax out of my moustache.

I do sometimes use beard balm/oil for special occasions to help tame my beard and give it a little extra shine. I rarely buy it for myself, I find that once you have a beard it tends to be one of those things people gift you at Christmas or whatever.

I use Firehouse Moustache Wax (specifically their Wacky Tacky) to curl my moustache. That's a very stiff wax if you don't intend to curl it. I haven't tried their other waxes but I'm sure they work fine for general styling. It's the second wax I've tried, I find it works well, and I haven't felt the need to experiment further. The first one I tried because it was readily available at CVS at the time was Clubman, that stuff is garbage. Doesn't hold well, and if you get even the slightest bit wet or sweaty it washes right out. I also remember it having some sort of scent, which I'm not particularly a fan of for something that lives right below my nose.

If you're not going for a full Snidely Whiplash curl, some other lighter wax or maybe pomade is probably worth keeping around to help tame and style it a bit. I have a tin of Murray's pomade I keep around for that purpose though rarely use it. A little goes a long way with that, otherwise your beard gets kind of greasy and sticky.

I spend very little time on my beard. I brush it every day, wash it when I shower (usually every day, but I've been known to skip a day or two here and there,) clean up my cheeks when I shave my head (once or twice a week) and style my moustache mostly every day (it only takes a couple minutes, the Wacky Tacky is very stiff, I rub some into my 'stache, run a comb through it to help distribute it through a little better, and then pretty much just mold it into place with my fingers,) and do a little trimming maybe every couple weeks or when I notice it's getting a bit wild looking.

I don't know the laws or systems in place in the UK for this, but I work in 911 dispatch in the US, and I can't imagine that something like this is too radically different across the pond

As long as the cops in your area are fairly responsive (I know a couple departments in my county will take their sweet-ass time responding to a noise complaints) call every time he does something.

Yes, you're going to get sick of it, but more importantly the cops are going to get sick of it too. They really don't want to be out at your neighbors house over this every day/week/month/8moths, or however often he does it. Before too long he's going to get hit with fines and other consequences. Once or twice they might issue a warning

Speak to the officers every time. Make sure they're seeing and hearing what you're seeing and hearing, get it on video if you have to, don't give them an opportunity to write it off because they drove by the house and "didn't hear anything."

Tell them he's schizophrenic, refusing to take his meds, tell them he's harassing you, that last part is important, tell them you want to file a report for harassment, discuss what your options are- pressing changes, restraining orders, whatever they may be, and pursue them. You'll probably have paperwork and court dates and such, it sucks, but that's how the process works.

Be prepared for retaliation from him in some form. Get security cameras, try to avoid any contact with him if you can avoid it. He already has delusions that you're conspiring against him, and having the cops show up at his door repeatedly are going to feed right into that, it's not out of the question that he might get violent, or start vandalizing your property.

Continue to report anything he says and does to you, no matter how small, each incident you document builds a stronger case for more consequences. Every time he accuses your brother of making wolf noises, or hacking his phone, any weird interaction at all, make sure you're documenting it with the police.

Try to catch his niece when she's over, explain the situation, explain that you're going to have to take legal action if it doesn't stop, see if she can possibly talk sense into him, or possibly if she or other family might be able to pursue some sort of involuntary commitment for him (read up on your local laws about that, I have no idea what they're like in the UK except that I think it's called "sectioning" over there, I suspect that you wouldn't be able to start that process, it would probably need to be done by a relative, the police, or a medical/mental health professional)

I had one of the earlier model iPod Touches, maybe 2nd Gen? It was the first one to include Bluetooth (if memory serves, and it may not, I vaguely remember at launch Bluetooth that was disabled and I had to jailbreak it to use it, pretty sure Apple eventually enabled Bluetooth with a software update)

Around that time I'd also gotten my first job and had purchased a new laptop for myself, and sprung a little extra to get one with Bluetooth.

I saw the future, I was sick of wires and dongles, I got a Bluetooth mouse, a pair of Bluetooth over the ear headphones, and for my iPod I went to Best buy and got a pair of rocket fish "earbuds" (it doesn't feel right calling them earbuds, since they were connected with a rigid band around the back of your head, but that's what they were calling them) and sprung an extra couple bucks for the warranty because why not.

Those earbuds were a piece of crap. They worked fine, but they weren't rugged enough to deal with everyday life. Getting knocked off a coffee table onto a carpeted floor was enough to break them.

So for a couple months it became almost a weekly ritual for me to go back to best buy to exchange them, until they just stopped stocking them and gave me my money back.

In those days, there weren't many options for smaller profile Bluetooth headphone, you could get bulky over the ear models that were never really my thing, or you could get a mono earpiece. I'm pretty sure that those were literally the only model I could find at any reasonable price point.

It actually kind of soured me on Bluetooth headphones until fairly recently, and honestly if my phone still had a jack I'd probably still be using the Shure 215 earbuds I bought after that.

(Also, if you're in the market for wired earbuds, I'm no audiophile, but I do not regret getting the shures one bit, they definitely sounded better than the Skullcandy buds I upgraded from back then, and they are damn-near indestructible, there may very well be better, cheaper, and more rugged earbuds out there, but for the $100 or so I spent over a decade ago, mine have gone through the laundry a couple times and had just about every other kind of abuse you could imagine inflicted upon them and they're no worse for wear, and the wire is replaceable if that ever gets fucked up but I'm still on the original)

I'm no electrician, I don't run a lot of cable, I'm just a maybe-slightly-more-competent-than-average DIY homeowner type

Personally though, I like having cables run through conduits when possible for the ease of running them. I'm not particularly worried about water or mice or anything, it's just a lot easier to just drop a cable down a pipe or suck a string through them with a plastic bag and shop vac than to try to fish them through the walls, especially anything I might want to upgrade at some point down the line when a new standard comes out like Ethernet or HDMI.

As I said

pay is livable but not amazing

I personally came up just a hair short of 69k last year, I'm paying my bills, treating myself to some luxuries, and usually manage to save a bit, but I'm not rolling in it by a longshot.

But like I said that varies a lot around the country, I believe that's a decent bit above the national average, but not a ridiculous outlier either, it's fairly average for my area.

For context, I've been there about 6 years, so I have some seniority, but I've also elected not to pursue some training and certifications and such that could have given me a bit of a pay bump. I rarely come in for overtime, but that's always available if you want it (there have been a couple years where one of our supervisors ended up being one of if not the highest paid county employee here because the man is an overtime machine, he's a supervisor so he of course makes more than me to begin with but not so much more that you'd expect him to be in the running for that without the insane amount of overtime he does)

On average the county I work for is fairly wealthy and we're not hurting for funding. We're not union (although every few years someone starts talking about it, hasn't gotten off the ground yet but we've gotten close a few times) but most of our surrounding counties are so that helps keep our pay competitive.

It's absolutely not a job for everyone, but assuming you're in the US, damn-near every 911 dispatch center in the country is always short-staffed and hiring, and usually only require a high school diploma or GED.

Since you have a computer background, I think it's safe to assume that you can type at a halfway decent WPM, that's a pretty big chunk of our aptitude test that a lot of people fail on.

A lot about this job varies from one jurisdiction to another, but in general pay is livable but not amazing and the hours are usually weird, but the benefits and job security are pretty solid.

Background checks, drug testing, etc. are of course usually part of the hiring process, and again it's just not a job everyone is cut out for.

I remember coming across the thing you're describing years ago while digging through my dad's collection of miscellaneous cables, adapters, etc. back in the 90s or early 2000s. It wasn't quite so low-profile, it definitely stuck out from whatever you plugged it into maybe about a quarter to half inch or so, but otherwise it was a 3.5mm jack with a plastic cap on the other with no wires or holes or anything that muted whatever you plugged it into.

The shade of beige the plastic was on that particular example makes me suspect it was a relic of the 80s. I do feel like I remember seeing them for sale somewhere at a later time, but I couldn't begin to tell you where.

A little googling turned up this eBay listing

Based off of that and a little more googling I think the term you're looking for might be a shorting and/or blanking plug or or cap or dummy/dummy plug

Without too much effort I was able to find "shorting caps" for RCA jacks, various coaxial connectors, and banana plugs, but had no luck finding any more for 3.5mm

There's a few other weird situations that can come into play too, like mailing addresses, census designated places, neighborhoods, etc.

My town doesn't have its own post office, so my mail gets handled by the post office in a neighboring town, so my mailing address says that town instead of the municipality I actually live in, so more often than not if I have to give out my address that's what I'm saying.

I also live in a 'census designated place" basically an area that's officially recognized as having its own identity. It's basically just a fancy nickname for my neighborhood, so some people in this area will say that instead of the name of the municipality or the mailing address.

It's actually pretty rare for anyone to give the name of my municipality when asked for what town they live in unless we're talking about local politics.

A lot of this is going to be subjective and depend on your personal frame of reference, as well as local laws and customs that can vary a lot around the country

In general, in normal casual conversation, most Americans are going to refer to a municipality as a "town" unless they're in a big city. Legally, that municipality might be considered a city, town, township, borough, home rule municipality, village, etc. but unless it's a big city we're probably going to refer to it as a town most of the time

There's also, in some areas, unincorporated communities that don't have an actual municipal government, but if there's a relatively dense area, we might go ahead and refer to that area as a town.

Some parts of the US do have some sort of legal definition for "village," in others it might be used informally to refer to a small "quaint" town, or part of the town.

There's also the distinction of, for example, being "in a town" vs "in town" or "downtown"

Most of us who don't live in a big city would say that we live in a town, meaning the municipality we live in. Somewhat less of us live "in town" meaning something more like the denser, more "urban" parts of town, probably resembling what you think of as a village, and "downtown" would refer to something like the area around the main street or main commercial area where you might find stores, restaurants, bars, etc.

So a "rural town" is basically any sort of town in a rural area. I'm not sure if there's any sort of a legal definition for a rural town, but in general I'd say that if a town is surrounded by woods and/or farmland and you can't trace an unbroken path of suburban sprawl from it back to a major city it's rural.

Some of those rural towns can actually be fairly big and urbanized, but they're otherwise in a rural area in their own little bubble so we'd still consider it to be a rural town.

As far as town vs "small town" that's kind of subjective.

The town I grew up in is often referred to as a small town, largely because it's physically pretty small, almost exactly 1 square mile, but that 1 mile is pretty densely populated, I think the population is around 9-10k people currently, it's just a couple miles outside of the nearest major city, and pretty well-urbanized itself, connected to several major highways, was once a big manufacturing town but is now pretty gentrified, with a solid handful of 10+ floor office buildings. People from more rural areas probably wouldn't agree that it's a "small town" but people from a bit city probably would think so, and for those of us "townies" whose families have lived here for a few generations still feel like it has a small town feel, even if the newer transplants don't all share that feeling.

The town I currently live in isn't quite rural, but it's getting there. I'm towards the edge of the suburbs now, maybe even into the exurbs. The town is physically much larger, but only has about half the population. That small, less dense population makes it still feel kind of small-towny.

Also worth noting, my town doesn't really have any sort of a "downtown" area, no real main street to go walking around or anything. We have a few businesses and stores and such roughly clustered in the same area, but it's not a cohesive thing that feels like a "town" or what you might recognize as a "village." I would normally may this, but if I said I was going "into town" for something, most people around me would probably understand that I'm going to one of our neighboring towns that are a bit more built-up

So some combination of physical size, population, population density, and a curtain je ne sais quoi are what makes a town a small town.

People have been throwing that kind of disclaimer on online comments so long that they came up with the abbreviation "IANAL" back in the 80s or 90s, back when the World Wide Web was either not even a thing yet or brand-spanking-new and Usenet was king.

There are, frankly, a whole lot of absolute morons out in the world.

Sometimes those people are the ones asking for advice, sometimes they're the ones trying to give it.

Some people who will take anything you say at face value, won't verify any information for themselves, won't do any research, etc. and if they follow your advice and screw up they sometimes like to lug litigious about it.

And when they're the ones giving advice, they'll confidently state stuff that is just flat out not true and sometimes dangerous.

Hopefully you can see at least some of the ways those could be a bad combination.

Personally when I make those kinds of disclaimers, it's because I'm

1. Looking out for myself, I don't want to get sued, I dont want some asshole to harass me or dox me or ruin my reputation or anything because they followed advice I gave because they thought I "sounded like I knew what I was talking about"
2. I'm looking out for the other person. I'm not a professional and I know it, I'm warning them that they should only take my thoughts or advice for what they're worth which may not be much, and there's a real chance the person I'm talking to is an idiot.

I also feel like it kind of invites someone who does actually know better to come in and correct or add on to what I've said, and I always welcome that sort of learning opportunity.

And it can sometimes be a way to slip in a little humor if you slip in something like "I'm no octopus psychologist" or something when you're discussing the behavior of an octopus. (To the best of my knowledge, "octopus psychologist is not a real job, and that's why it's humorous, at least to someone with the same kind of dry humor as me)

In the Lord of the Rings, what is the explanation for swords and other metal goods?

At some point in the past, the arts of smelting, smithing, casting were discovered, refined over the centuries, different races and cultures advanced them in different ways, and eventually led to swords, mithril shirts, magic rings, etc.

Same thing with star wars, in-universe they have tens of thousands of years of history, I think canonically the old Republic was founded 25-or-so thousand years ago, if you go back that far in real earth human history and you're pretty much at the point where a handful of weird wolves are starting to get comfortable enough with humans to let us start domesticating them.

And at that point in the star wars timeline, space travel and other advanced technology is already pretty well-established, so there's probably at least that long again of incremental technological advancements leading up to that point.

Basically they just got a massive head-start on us

As far as how and where the technology is made, we get little glimpses of it here and there, droid factories on Geonosis, corelian shipyards, various mechanics, scrapyards, tinkerers, etc.

But that's all just kind of backdrop. Star wars is a space opera adventure thing, not a mockumentary about the history of lightsabers and hyperspace drives, or a how-its-made for blaster pistols and gonk droids. It wouldn't make sense for most star wars media to really go into depth about that kind of stuff and probably would piss people off if they did (not that most star wars fans don't exist in a perpetual state of being angry at star wars about something anyway)

You wouldn't go into a Fast and Furious movie expecting a whole history and mechanics lesson on automobiles, the movies are focusing on a handful of people who (race cars? Fight terrorists with cars? I really don't know I've actually never seen any of them) there's a whole in-universe world around them where all of those things happened/are happening out of sight and out of mind but it's not directly relevant to the plot so it gets kind of glossed over, you can just assume most of the history and engineering stuff has been handled by people somewhere off-screen at some point in time.

Same with star wars, there's untold trillions or more people scattered across millions of inhabited planets working dead-end jobs making widgets that have built on millennia of science and technology, but the stories focus on a handful of freedom fighters, smugglers, soldiers, warrior monks, etc. who mostly just use those things and probably don't have much more idea how their hyperdrive works than you do about the alternator in your car.

Personally I've gone in on Hawaiian shirts, bit less good for a laugh, but still attention grabbing and easier to show off in public. No one wants to see my fat hairy ass sporting a whale tail.

Small typo in my comment, was supposed to say get a laugh out of my wife

It served its intended purpose. It was for Valentines or our anniversary or something, so I was waiting in the bed for her to come home in my leopard thong, rose petals scattered around, and some funky 70s porno music playing, and she cracked the fuck up.

I'm a fat, unsexy dude, I bought a goofy leopard-print thong to get a laugh out of my life wife once

It's not my favorite pair of undies by a longshot, I still prefer my usual boxer-briefs, but it's certainly not uncomfortable. Even wore it to my city's naked bike ride to bike around in.

My dog is very aggressive/reactive to other dogs.

We got her when she was just a few weeks shy of a year old, from a family friend who rescued her from some random guy on Facebook who basically said "someone come take this dog or I'm gonna put her down"

I don't know much about that first guy except that he was obviously a piece of shit. He was also at least pretty neglectful, she has a pretty low maintenance coat, occasional brushing is about all she needs, but apparently she was filthy and her fur was even a little matted when they rescued her. I also suspect he was kind of abusive, because for a while she was kind of afraid of people holding broomsticks, fishing rods, etc. and I can't think of any good reason for that except that he hit her with something.

Again, she was still a puppy, less than a year old.

So needless to say she probably didn't get any kind of socialization with him.

The people we got her from kind of suspect that he got her as payment for a drug deal or something along those lines.

She's a very high-energy and intelligent breed (a malinois, she's actually pretty lazy for her breed, but that still makes her more energetic than just about any other dog I've ever met) very driven, incredibly mouthy (we've long since trained it out of her, but I can tell that she still sometimes wants to bite me in a playful way)

The people we got her from are very nice, but already had 2 kids, 2 dogs, and a couple cats, not a very big house, and no experience with this sort of high-energy breed, and I am certain that she was an absolute terror.

But things went pretty much fine for a while, she got along with their dogs and even their cats, they thought about keeping her for themselves

But then she started getting into fights with their one other dog. She was getting into sort of her adolescent phase, pushing boundaries, trying to assert dominance, and probably just being a crazy little crackhead.

So she ended up getting bitten pretty badly by their other dog (and maybe kind of deserved it)

And since then she just hasn't been good with other dogs. We've gotten her to a point where she can more-or-less ignore a couple familiar dogs around the neighborhood, but I doubt she'll ever be at a point where she'll ever be friendly with other dogs.

She's been bitten, she doesn't want to get bitten again, and her breed is pretty much all-fight no-flight (as in fleeing, watch a couple videos of military/police malinois jumping out of helicopters and shit and you'll see they clearly don't have a problem with flying, and their jumping game is probably about as close to flight as any dog can manage on their own,) so in her mind the way to stay safe is basically to go on the offensive and get the other dogs before they can get her.

Better early socialization and more experienced owners who knew how to manage her energy and instincts better in that first year or so of her life probably would have made a huge difference for her.

It also doesn't help that she was a covid puppy, not easy to get proper socialization when your humans are stuck quarantining at home.

She loves people though, she rolls over for belly rubs from just about anyone, cuddles right up next to me in bed, and while she does get a bit uncomfortable in bigger crowds, she always wants to at least be near where the people are. I remember taking her on a camping trip with a few friends, some she knew, others she didn't, and she wasn't sure what to make of all of these people hanging out in the same place, so she didn't really insert herself into the group, but she definitely sat nearby watching us, and anytime someone broke off to go to the bathroom, get something from their tent, grab a drink, etc. she was right there with them

When I was a kid, every Sunday after church we'd go pick up the newspaper from my grandmother's house because she'd be done with it by then and my frugal parents sure as hell weren't going to pay for their own subscription.

I of course was mostly interested in the comics section. I remember Doonesbury being a thing back then, and I'd read it and at some point I even started to understand it when I was a little older, but it was never one I particularly enjoyed, most of the other comics were far more entertaining to my adolescent mind. I remember Non Sequitur and Opus being my favorites back then.

Fast forward almost 2 decades, my wife and I recently got a subscription to our local newspaper, the same one I grew up reading every Sunday. The funny pages are a lot more condensed than they used to be, that's probably a sign of the times as far as traditional print newspapers go. Some of my old favorites are gone, there's a couple new ones that are pretty good, most of the old staples that are as boring and safe as always, I'm happy to see Dilbert gone even though that was once a favorite of mine.

Doonesbury is still there, and maybe it was always this good and I just was too young to appreciate it, but I definitely think it's my new favorite.

I have one idiot coworker who supported Trump (I'm unclear if she actually voted for him, in the past she's been proud that she's never voted, like I said, idiot) largely because of something he said during the campaign about lowering costs for IVF

She doesn't have kids, as far as I know doesn't want them.

She was in some kind of poly relationship, is going through a divorce, is wiccan, we work in the public sector (county level so kind of insulated from DOGE type bullshit, but not that insulated because of course we get a butt load of federal funds) and has a few health issues.

It's like she's aiming to be the poster girl for getting her face eaten by leopards.