Flushmaster @ Flushmaster @ttrpg.network

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135

Joined

2 yr. ago

Just start by giving a speech with a bunch of BS buzzwords about traditional brand value recognition and proven growth practices and they'll wait until the financial reports come in before calling for your head. Much like many executives, shareholders rarely actually understand how the companies they own and operate actually function. They just want to be reassured that they will be getting money without having to actually do anything and the little people can take care of the nitty gritty "work" stuff.

I'm amazed that none of these comments are mentioning the subject line of the post is a reference to "Stop! Hammer time!"

Yeah. Start by chopping any seven figure (or more) executive salaries in half, then rehire all those people who actually create products for the company. Then go back to making products people actually want rather than overpriced collector sets of material with almost no actual content in them or turning preexisting products into subscription based services. Coming up with new stuff is one thing but when you have literally fifty years of history to see what people like from your primary products it shouldn't be difficult to not alienate a massive customer based.

Don't overcomplicate things. Not every single NPC you meet demands a half hour RP session. I'm Bob, this is Sally, the guy in clerical robes is Father Steve, and the dude in the plate is Sir Dinglus of Berryvale. Yeah, he has a weird name but that's apparently normal where he's from. Off to the southeast somewhere. You folks have a nice day.

Would she get advantage on the roll if she pointed out that practice under stressful but safe circumstances is both responsible and good preparation for unforseen stressful and potentially dangerous situations? So, really, playing strip poker is the mature and responsible course of action here.

I now want to make a Glory paladin from the Church of Macho Madness.

The "twist" was pretty clearly telegraphed to anybody familiar with the genre, but the delivery was good and we didn't have to wait long to get there. Also the cleric and paladin were pretty on top of his smooth talking game, which explains him apparently deciding to just cut straight to the inevitable fight. Because it's pretty clear what bargain he's referring to. Well told and bravo, sir. Now let's see some holy butt kicking!

You know you're in the fun religion when your ecclesiastic superiors tell you to up your card shark skills.

"Gee" with a hard G as in geek, then "us." Stress on the first syllable.

Assuming you're referring to the corporate level management, I think you misspelled "euthanized."

I'm putting giant snails into my homebrew world now. It's a skypunk setting so I just have to decide if the snails are native to a specific cloud enshrouded plateau, a flying nuisance species of blimp-mollusks, or an invasive species that shows up everywhere. Maybe all of the above.

The biggest thing that irritates me from this is the implication that anybody is arguing for "historical accuracy" to medieval Europe in a setting that has dragons and goblins that shoot lightning from their fingertips. If, for whatever weird reason, the DM doesn't want potatoes to exist that's okay, but you're not waiting for the Columbian exchange to bring them over from the Americas because the Americas don't exist here. If you have a player character that's a shape shifting sentient blob who casts illusions and is on a quest to seduce every milliner they can find then a plain tasting sausage made from fine ground questionable cuts of meat shouldn't be seen as a stretch.

Additionally, as someone who majored in History in college, I can assure you that most people insisting on "historical accuracy" on any one or two things they learned from a tweet or a tiktok about are almost definitely getting fifteen other things wrong in any given session.

My ruling would be that the vampire does not appear in the mirror but the illusions do. If someone got creative I would also rule that if you aim your attacks based on looking at a reflection you would be attacking a single target with full concealment (normal attack roll with disadvantage) and not rolling to see if you hit an illusion because you're aiming specifically at where they aren't.

The biggest problem with homebrew is that most of it is unbalanced crap made up by people who think rule of cool is an appropriate substitute for learning why those numbers in that book they barely skimmed are arranged the way they are. Yes, there's some good stuff out there but like the internet in general Sturgeon's Law is usually a generous assessment.

A great example was in a game I briefly played the DM allowed a homebrew class with seven different class features, most of which could be used in the same turn combined to great effect, at first level. Why? Because the DM didn't know half the rules to the basic system, the class came from a pretty website that was designed to look like an official source book, and the abilities sounded really cool. Nevermind that it made one PC more powerful than the other four party members combined.

Take homebrew with a large grain of salt or everybody will end up very salty.

I am familiar with the gazebo story. It's nearly as old as the internet.

Not at all, Konsi. Your skin is a very healthy shade of green.

He seems nice. And it absolutely isn't suspicious at all that those Gnoll raiders left the cart alone after hauling off the dead horse with no obvious blood spatter or drag marks. Just a simple traveler in mild distress. No need to put your guard up or have any abjuration spells ready with names that include words like "protection," "dispel," or "evil."

Also problem players. Like the ones that steal from other PCs, murderhobo, use meme threads as a "to do" list, and frequently say the words "It's what my character would do." You send those players here and they cease to be a problem.

Unfortunately this one actually happened in Florida. Police arrested a guy who, among other things, someone had said was in possession of something that "looked like a pistol with a suppressor." After searching the guy and finding no such weapon the cop put the guy, handcuffed, in the back of his cruiser. As he walked away from the car an acorn fell and hit the roof, at which point the cop started shouting into his radio about shots fired and that he had been hit by gunfire, dove and rolled around a bit (nowhere near any actual cover), then unloaded the entire magazine of his pistol at his cruiser with the suspect locked inside it. Another officer on scene, reacting to the first one yelling that he'd been shot, also fired all of her ammo at the vehicle. None of the shots actually hit the handcuffed guy in the back seat.

A "thorough investigation of the incident" (including body camera footage from both officers involved which is now publicly available online) determined that the noise the first officer thought was a suppressed gunshot was, in fact, an acorn hitting the roof of the police vehicle after falling from the large oak tree it was parked next to. The acorn was still on the roof. Despite his panicked reaction and assertions otherwise it was also determined that he had not been struck by gunfire and that he was certainly the first person present to start shooting. The other officer was cleared of any wrongdoing as she was determined to have had legitimate reason to believe there was a clear and present danger. The first cop, who gave the second one that reason by freaking out over a fucking acorn, was determined to be whatever the official wording is for delusional, unstable, and dangerously incompetent and he resigned. In statements he still insisted after the fact that, while not disputing the findings of the review, he still recalls having heard a gunshot and feeling an impact to his torso.