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773
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2 yr. ago

  • Basically. People just get used to the nebulous mental calculations of how much tax one can expect. It encourages a culture of routine overspending and should be illegal.

    People expect to budget roughly tax and tip, they are basically mad because this is not a cultural norm and they got stung by surprise.

  • Definitely what I am talking about! A lot of trans folk aren't really all that enamored with the cultural trappings of masculinity or femininity either. It's just a tool to allow us to be recognized by others and maybe emphasize what we may be lacking. A lot of the late transition folk I know find a solid measure of that euphoria.

    I feel like under the hood gender is really interesting and a lot of cis folk just never really think about what it actually means to them? Operating at a deficit or discovering your joy in a non-standard presentation definitely forces you to think about it. I feel like binary trans folk just experience what you feel but under the reverse of circumstance. It's harder I think for folk who don't have direct match to empathize with the binary trans experience...

    The other side of things seems sort of closer to a non-binary situation but where the rewards are not really strong enough to act. The path of least resistance just works well enough. Holding up a mirror to cis-ness I feel like is something we as a society don't really do. We skirt it tentitivly when we ask these pop culture questions of "what if you woke up as the opposite sex? " But most people's take goes no deeper than "lol BOOBS!"

  • Not a matter of "how we proceed" but a matter of maybe having a little empathy and urgency? I am trans and gay and an a little under forty. I realize being gay has come a long way. I grew up during the time gay rights were expanding and "gay" was a slur. Right now I am a minority where bashing is happening with protests in the hundreds. There is a decent amount of transphobia I encounter within the gay community itself much less in public. I am not saying not to press the advantage but saying "some liberals get upset when we should be celebrating" is trivializing a lot of the pain happening under the surface and just comes across as tactless to those of us still living our version of the "80's".

    I get told a lot that maybe the Liberals would be more successful if they just sacrificed our cause to appeal to the Conservatives who might swap sides... As if waiting another four year stint to address things isn't going to mean wondering if anybody I know is going to die giving up hope things will get better. Heck I have heard variations of this from the gay community as though I am simply an obstacle to greater acceptance and that our moment is gunna be further down the line. "Oh, Not now of course but hold off for that sweet reward that could mean your life gets better... eventually... Once the gay thing is in the bag and we've got ours and then can maybe consider if you are actually worth the effort from a place of safety and privilege. Meanwhile get out of our establishment will you? Your desperation isn't quite matching the vibe. " The number of gay folk flaunting their gayness on the anti-trans picketlines meanwhile is still a thing. The LGBTQ+ no man left befind mantra is deliberate because we know that callousness has a cost. To quote Catch 22 "The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on. It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead.'

    "You are a pawn get used to it" is not the talk of an ally, it's the sound of someone openly discussing the opportunity to make you a martyr.

  • It's harder to feel like a capable badass when you've borrowed a friend's hat to cover your rainbow colored hair and are ralphing korean food into a strip mall garbage can.

    At some level we as a demographic are sensitive, I can't really control the way I feel about my body and my place in society. Being out does mean exposing that vulnerability where other people can see. Sensitivity isn't cowardice but it does mean having to realize where your limits are and how you work. A lot of us learn to put on a tough as nails affect over time so we can get through a regular ass day. Realistically I know I am not a coward any more than I am Superman. I am just doing my best

  • Pretty real stuff. A feels like lot of people just want to punch through us to hit somebody on the other side. I can't say I like the way they frame things about parents rights either. It's like they want to own their children like property not just be a major influence in their lives. The lack of empathy doesn't even really extend to their own flesh and blood much less us.

    My hometown's council is like a microcosm of the whole thing. A vocal group storms the trustee meetings to rail on and on about how we need to Protect children from gender ideology, they run over their alloted time so nobody can get any regular business done and the board turns their mic off so they can just function as a government. The "spurned Conservatives" then go to the local paper and tell everyone that their freedom of speech was unjustly curtailed because a hypocritical progressive turned their mic off. The paper prints the story uncritically and all of a sudden we're a threat to freedom of speech and democracy... They then turn around and say "I'm not transphobic" as though they didn't just paint us as bogeyman who are dangerous to be around women, kids, polling stations, government, pens and paper etc. etc. etc.

    Some days it's just a lot.

  • It's something even a lot of my friends don't even really get. I ended up going to a Birthday party where across the street from the restaurant there was a 250 plus rally of anti-trans protesters with zero counter protesters. We didn't realize the thing would be there. I ended up not being able to eat because the stress from proximity made me throw up everything.

    I know we get called sensitive snowflakes but having that level of outright hate shoved in your face can easily make anyone feel very small and very vulnerable and at some level it's visceral.

  • I mean for a lot of us the horror doesn't kick in til puberty. When you are a kid all it takes for someone to clock you as another gender is changing your clothes and whatever you have in your pants doesn't really matter so much. You might have been more okay than you think at age five or seven.

  • A lot of people do not draw the distinction between talking about things in an educational context versus it being a way they express themselves for their own needs. Laws like this make people afraid to do so until it is contested because the act of contesting it is itself punitive. The cooling effect is implicit in the design of the law because it recognizes law removes people's ability to support themselves in a society before it has a chance to be tested meaning only the secure of a minority under extreme fire can contest it and that means becoming very visible in circumstances where one's safety often relies on being invisible.

    This teacher is likely under extreme fire right now by a mob of people telling them they are a pedophile, delusional, harmful and trying to exploit every shred of exposed weaknesses to gendered nonsense one naturally lets be known when one comes out as non-binary.

    Where legal protections are shaky schools will fire teachers under concerns for that teacher's physical and mental safety if enough parents are valued at being a threat by feeling empowered by their interpretation of the law or the idea that a school is operating outside the law. Ultimately running a school is government money that needs to be paid so an employee going up against a school board for wrongful dismissal will not impact the individual school as much when the main currency for the school board employees is time and complexity of a bunch of individual parents suing because their little darling asked them what someone calling themselves Mx. means when they came home.

  • It's valid. Being non-binary trans being treated as my birth sex causes me all kinds of underlying social anxiety and makes me hate being around people the same way I hate looking in mirrors. I assume the inconvenience of having to educate people on my specific needs because the burden of doing so is more often lesser than the discomfort of not doing so.

    If I don't bother to correct someone's assumptions in a social setting it's usually because either I expect to deal with the person only very rarely and I do not give much weight at all to how they think of me... But the interaction does still remind me of everything I don't like about my experience and makes me self conscious in a harmful way.

    If it were something based out of a lack of feeling rather than a surfit it would probably be a fairly innert part of the way I express myself.

  • Sounds like the most thought out response. I sometimes wonder how many cis folk are cis because they have a gender identity solidly planted in the cultural and phenotypic sex of their body and how many are cis because they really don't have a strong underlying preference so whatever their body is it would not cause them any real discomforts.

    I definitely know folk who I suspect fit both of these models. Those cis folk who experience gender euphoria are sometimes not very subtle about it.

  • I am glad someone is calling the Florida school system on their bullshit. Being non-binary hard and being treated like the coping mechanisms you use for avoiding hating the experience of dealing with people and existing in your body are somehow a delusion, some sort of sexual kink or deliberately confusing is like trying to go about your day with weights strapped to you. It makes dealing with every social interaction so tiring. It really feels like everybody else in the room is obsessed with your sex organs and characteristics like complete perverts that they don't see the question is about how happy you are and how you feel about all the people in your life and whether you feel anxious and isolated being around them or just comfortable and able to express your full range of personhood.

    This teacher is standing up because they know there's others much worse off who aren't secure enough to do it. Pretty admirable I think.

  • You forget the modern Christian popular doctorine is no sex before marriage (though in practice this is only really expected to be binding of women because men being horny is just considered "natural") and sex between only the married people afterwards.

    Problem with tying your political identity to a base that assumes misogyny as it's religious dogma as their guiding principle is if you subscribe to it for reasons outside of religion you are still gunna get tarred by that brush.

  • Yup. One of the original tokens people used as money was kaori shells. They held value because they were considered pretty decorations, were limited in the number that entered society and were easy to serve as a intermediary trade good. All you need for a currency is for people to treat it as a currency. The other bit that usually ends up being a factor is scarcity. You can either create scarcity artificially for things like coins or bills where you make replicating them a crime or you choose a natural resource where new stuff coming in does slowly enough it doesn't destabilize the system. If ever there is a sudden glut of new currency stuff entering the system the currency gets devalued because you are tying it to stuff you need to survive like food, shelter and tools which are finite and have actual concrete value.

    Gold for instance historically was not particularly super useful but it doesn't corrode, can be infinitely reused, enters the system at a trickle and is nice and shiny so people like it. It is functionally just like trading seashells.

  • From the queer perspective the attitude isn't charming. When open season gets declared on us talking about it as a "financial loss" or an unpopular move that is a win in the long run ignores that we are being used as fungible tokens in a game rather than people seeing the human cost. When we have to leave a community because we fear for futures losing all our support structures and having to rebuild it is a cold comfort that some politicians might not get elected this month or this year. The brazen hate towards us is treated as classless rather than actually threatening. It is becoming more brazen and in places it is becoming more commonplace...more normal.

    Looking at this strictly from an our team vs their team dynamic over who proves morally superior in the end trivializes a lot of the damage done along the way. How often have we been told that we should just give up hope of things getting better and stop bringing immediately life threatening issues to the table because it isn't politically convenient? We are not pawns we are people.

  • A lot of directors look at shooting on actual film as almost a gimmick at this stage and kind of a costly one. The techs that deal in the loading/processing/storing of the media are getting more rare as the old timers retire out and there's more things that can go wrong at every level of the use of the older medium because it's heavy, more light and temperature sensitive and it is more time consuming which racks up labour costs.

    Camera folk work long ass hours compared to the rest of the shoot crew so it's favours younger techs. Those who were around in the heyday of actual film have all but moved up the ladder to DOP positions or retired meaning the new blood isn't getting the old process passed along and there's a certain level of "fuck this shit attrition" that keeps career longevity in the industry low. The techs who specialize in film are very caught up in the romance of physical film the same way some writers use typewriters but all in all it is a dying art that fewer and fewer studios are willing to bankroll.

  • Your "small pockets of crazies" are all running for government and have been flooding news programs with garbage. I am Canadian, I live in Canada and that we have Trump ralliests and Fox news addicts has meant we have 2nd amendment nutjobs up here now when we don't even have a 2nd amendment. We had a refugee crisis from the US during the 2016 election because people were scared of the stuff being said by those crazies because Muslim travel bans were being threatened. Your small pockets of crazies are running wild, getting elected because they are mainstreaming and making the the folks who share borders with you very nervous.

    You might want to look around, the wild dogs currently have the run of the neighbourhood.