A technology will also continue to be slow and expensive when you have rich and powerful entrenched and ossified business interests (the fossil fuel companies) who BENEFIT from said technology being slow and expensive, and doing everything in their power to KEEP it slow and expensive, up to and INCLUDING fraud, graft, bribery, and blackmail.
Fossil fuel exec calls up his criminal friends in whatever legislative bodies he can reach "hey yeah I need this delayed and I need it to cost more in order to make my own business plans look less stupid and toxic. I don't fucking care how you do it, rubber stamp some no bid contracts for your cousin in law's consulting firm or something. Of course your family can expect some very lucrative careers, incidentally..."
he likes: big girls, pretty kitty girls, really witty girls, singin' ditty girls; he likes the leggy girls with the nice thighs; he likes a good chest no matter what size; he likes the belly folds, he likes the sixpacks, really tall queens, and the shortstacks, from the mild girls to the wild girls...
you, standing on a cliff overlooking the horizon, and ten billion light-years away there is a point you will never, ever be physically capable of reaching because the very expansion of the cosmic medium itself will move it further away from you than it already is now even if you traveled in that direction at the speed of light for ten billion years.
the only reason i don't struggle with it anymore is because i ran out of sufficient energy to struggle.
however, that was not what resolved it--not directly.
no longer agonizing over my conversations had other effects.
i decided that if all i can be is background noise, then i shall be background noise. and that ... loosened my hesitation. i physically lost the ability to attach any kind of ulterior motive or emotional baggage to what i wanted to say, and so, my messaging became more open and honest as a result, in a way i never had the choice to implement at will. it took breaking down to no longer proverbially have a wall there.
and then, at another point after this had metaphorically cleaned my slate, i decided to start over by embodying what i felt was missing. i would be the warmth that no one was showing. i would greet, and encourage, and ask nonbinary question--but i don't think this would have worked if i had not first shattered my own guard and begun engaging my social interactions with totally exposed vulnerability.
But the problem is, the mainstream and government are calling him a "terrorist" and "terrorists" don't have rights; under the USAPATRIOT Act, they are "enemy combatants" and the only thing they get is extrajudicial imprisonment and daily torture"simulated drowning".
A technology will also continue to be slow and expensive when you have rich and powerful entrenched and ossified business interests (the fossil fuel companies) who BENEFIT from said technology being slow and expensive, and doing everything in their power to KEEP it slow and expensive, up to and INCLUDING fraud, graft, bribery, and blackmail.