Just need to have them sent to el Salvador to serve the time for a contempt charge. Then there won't be anything that can be done (according to the very same doj lawyers)
I bought it at release and emulated it 2 days after. Much smoother on PC, even with shader recompiling. Only reason I did it was to remove the duplication patches, but the improved graphics fidelity was a major side benefit.
Ah, and if it's spring, you get to rotate the old pair out to be 'new' yard work shoes!