ClarissaXDarjeeling @ ClarissaXDarjeeling @lemmy.world

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Joined

2 yr. ago

Fat > sugar, IMO

I was never interested in frosting, but then I met buttercream frosting, cream cheese frosting, and the like. When used sparingly, without overwhelming the cake/cupcake, it's divine :D

Tangentially related, someone told me that Brussels sprouts have been bred (er, cultivated? what's the word?) to be less bitter in recent years. So all of us who remember hating sprouts and now love 'em, it might be legitimately better!

-Here's the weirdest one: I used to hate the French language (too "mushy"!) and was super excited that my college offered German. I took THREE YEARS of German. Now I've forgotten it all, but I'm really into French and actually considering a French immersion program to get more conversational.

-Also, I used to love loud & stimulating environments (metal shows, night clubs, etc.) while now I appreciate tranquility. Gimme a used bookstore or nature walk any day! I went to a drag brunch recently cause it seemed like the kind of thing I should like as a gay-ish Millennial woman. But it was SO not my thing ... the lights, blaring music, close bodies, and cell phones documenting every second just ruined all the nice/chill things about brunch. And I can't survive an actual concert without earplugs.

-Food-wise, I hated seafood as a kid. Now I love it, including oysters and scallops and octopus and sushi/ceviche of any kind.

Neurotypical here, as far as I know.

No, there is nothing about brushing my teeth that's automatic. At some point during the evening I usually notice fuzzy-feeling teeth, or as I'm nodding off while reading my book will think "oh no, I never brushed my teeth..." There is always some small element of discipline to getting up and doing the thing. But I can usually remember without having to set an alarm or post a sticky note, if that meets your definition of "habit".

Exercise is brutal and IMO, that never gets easier, either. In contrast, I generally have an easier time with mental discipline & focus compared to physical tasks.

Strangely enough, as a (mostly) white Millennial woman, the majority of my peers now claim to have adult-onset/adult-diagnosed ADHD. Maybe this is an accurate diagnosis for some. And even if it's an exaggeration in other cases, who cares, as long as the coping strategies or medication is improving someone's quality of life.

What's sad to me, though, is when the diagnosis becomes an all-consuming identity and an excuse to stop trying altogether, a way to shut out the rest of the world. These women I know who excelled in school and work or had creative hobbies and traveled the world, now they just post mental health memes all day and joke about how it's impossible to get out of bed. And if anyone suggests maybe they TRY getting out of bed and see how it feels to participate in X, Y, Z activity like we used to, then come the accusations that we're clueless NTs who will never understand what it's like to struggle.

And that's just not true. NTs also work hard and struggle at times...that's life. So let's just make sure all these diagnoses are helping and working FOR us rather than AGAINST us. And sometimes forgetting to brush your teeth is just ... forgetting to brush your teeth.

whoopsidoodle!

I agree that it's healthy to experiment. At four years old, I was a "boy" whenever I played Peter Pan. And as a teen, I happened to go through a rather butch phase when I could easily be confused for a boy. I'm thankful that my parents weren't at all hung up on gender conformity, and neither was the community.

But if parents make a big deal out of changing a kid's name and pronouns and clothing, and swapping all the gender-stereotypical toys of one gender for another, and joining pride groups and making it a central part of the family's identity ... I think that creates a LOT of pressure for that child to continue in a trans identity (even though it's pretty unlikely their toddler was actually trans to begin with).

Why not dress however you like, play with whatever toys you like, but hold off on the assumption that gender non-conformity = transgender child? Or hold off on trying to "teach" these concepts to a little person who's perfectly content just eating dirt and playing tag?

My nephew right now is two and a half and pretty oblivious of gender. He shows no objection with being referred to with male pronouns, and yet his daycare teachers refuse to use he/him pronouns until he "comes out as cis" (in the meantime, all children are "they"). The parents in this community also fly flags and post messages like "trans children are sacred" and "bless the queer kids" constantly. It might sound lovely, and it's meant to be inclusive ... but children are quick to pick up on favoritism and which kids are considered special. In addition to that general sentiment, if parents keep asking, "Are you a boy or a girl? It's ok if you feel like a girl, sweetie" ... then eventually kids will parrot back whatever terms they hear, or whatever they think will earn a positive response. (Case in point: if you ask my nephew in an enthusiastic voice, he may confirm his identity as "cat" and "dog" and "cement mixer".)

In short: if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Don't create complexity where there wasn't any before.

My guess is that in the vast majority of cases, adults who officially "transition" their very young children are simply projecting their own desire for ally-ship. And my main gripe remains: if teachers and counselors continue to conflate gender non-conformity with transgenderism, then clearly they aren't qualified to "teach" what it is in the first place. Let boys in dresses and girls with short hair be just that, without probing for more.

I would probably be just as awkward and just as bullied. No thanks.

I think it's very difficult, in practice, to "teach" young children about gender identity without falling back on stereotypes and gender conformity.

Since an 8-year-old girl doesn't have overtly feminine characteristics like breasts or wide hips to feel physically uncomfortable with, how do you explain what it means to "feel like a boy"? The examples I've seen in elementary schools revert to showing a boy in a dress as "feeling like a girl"...when really, preferences for toys or clothing shouldn't determine your gender or cis/trans-ness. (And even at older ages, being uncomfortable with newly-sprouted breasts or hating periods doesn't make you a trans boy, of course.)

I also think there is danger in quizzing children about this at a very young age and then taking them literally. Some of my coworkers have "transitioned" their toddlers and pre-schoolers ... but these kids are still young enough to identify as cats and dogs and fairies, depending on the day. In this case, the adults aren't intentionally grooming. But it's likely that they're asking leading questions and misinterpreting childhood play through their own lens of having an established gender identity.

IMO, we'd all benefit from taking gender a bit less seriously.

Goldfish and dump in a "sharing size" bag of peanut m&ms. It's that perfect mix of salt and sweet ... I call it my fat kid trailmix

Somehow I always gravitate to the Atlantic ... so much that I actually felt bad after years of refreshing my browser for free articles, and now I actually pay real American dollars for a subscription.

Also, a few ultra local and free newspapers that with an online presence, especially when I'm in the mood to escape depressing national / international news.