BonesOfTheMoon @ BonesOfTheMoon @lemmy.world

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580

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Joined

2 yr. ago

They're actually an environmental nightmare. It takes 10000 pounds of rose petals to make a single pound of rose oil, for example. They are poisonous to aquatic life and house pets, flammable, lavender and tea tree oils are endocrine disruptors. I don't know what problems you think they solve, but I only ever used peppermint oil when I worked in ER and someone rolled in who had shit their pants, a couple of drops inside a mask and you can continue working without throwing up.

Poetry! Come join us at c/poetry.

Immigrants to where?

A doctor I worked with who was born in Canada but had been working in the US decided to move back to Canada and work with us, I guess he and his family wanted to get out of the states. Well, his family hated it here, I guess just not used to our way of life, and he had lots of criticism of how OHIP does not fund things (thanks Doug the drug dealer) and bitched all the time, and so last summer he went and secretly got a new job, his family moved back to the US ahead of him, and he hung out here for the fall and announced on October 31st that he was quitting and going back to the states. I didn't see him until the day after the election and I asked him where he was moving to, and he told me, but he said now he didn't know because of the election. Well, he moved after all, I mean his family was already there, but now that the US pulled 880 billion out of Medicare which is all of Medicare alone and a lot of people lost their jobs and therefore their insurance, and funding is being pulled out of science and medicine in other places, I don't think he'll have a good time of it. He was pretty arrogant about how badly he thought we did things, and while I agree that the conservative Ontario government sucks the rigid cock of Satan, it's not like that!

However OHIP really needs to pay many doctors more. Family doctors deserve a huge raise, and many subspecialties are poorly paid for the amount of education and work they require. For example, MS neurologists and movement disorders neurologists are paid very poorly and those patients require a LOT of work.

They sure do. It's so dumb.

I spend a lot of time mulling this over, since my therapist thinks that both my SO and MIL have malignant narcissism.

What I can say about both of them is that they really find doing emotionally disruptive things absolutely vital to their lives. MIL likes to pit her kids against each other so she can watch them fight, and she smiles like a vampire who just had a delicious blood feast when she sees it. Her only grandchild develops an eating disorder? Nothing will do but to run out and buy her some size XXL pyjamas to make her feel worse. Everything for her is a provocation and meant to trigger a negative reaction, because that's what she gets off on. It's beyond being an asshole, it's pathological and emotionally disturbing.

My SO, one of the biggest examples is the gifts he buys me. They're usually highly thoughtful and unique, but they're also really for him (it's several times been a piece of art), and part of it is so he can take pictures of them for Instagram and display his fine taste in things to everyone. If I tried to move out and take those things with me, he'd probably break my arm. Nothing is really a gift with him, it's just a way for him to get himself something he can show off with. Or he'll spend a long time taking pictures of things we've bought on trips just to show what interesting and unique tastes he has and how therefore he's better than anyone else. It's really tone deaf and it really reflects how he doesn't actually enjoy anything, but rather what doing something or buying something will help to elevate his status in his mind. It's tiresome and tone deaf. It isn't that I don't like the gifts, but the whole point is that they're not really gifts at all, and my birthday or whatever is just an excuse to acquire something that makes him feel important. He really has no friends, and I think this is a desperate way to make the few people who try to be nice to him at least superficially on social media think he's important, but really nobody can stand him beyond the superficial.

I think an asshole would just not be bothered with anything so deliberately manipulative, but just be really careless with your feelings and react badly when they get angry. I think that's the difference is the deep rooted pathological nature of it.

Treatable is an optimistic way to describe it. My therapist friend says it's virtually like starting from scratch with every session she does with a borderline, they're super resistant to treatment and have very poor insight.

It's a global far right power grab, fueled by dark money and weaponized disinformation. He's just the face of it.

I'm Canadian, but Americans make a lot of great artists and musicians, and some absolutely amazing food.

It's hard to give up because some of the musicians I really like post there, and indie musicians are often struggling financially and Substack is simply a bigger platform.

This girl lost her upper lip due to her pit. https://www.reddit.com/r/BanPitBulls/comments/15kqwmd/lip_removal/

But people who actually see people who have been bitten by pit bulls agree they should be banned: https://www.cincinnati.com/story/opinion/contributors/2014/06/29/doctor-says-ban-pit-bulls/11709481/

I can't say I agree. Asshole owners don't help, but I have a good friend who is a well educated health care professional who raised one devotedly from puppyhood, spent thousands of hours and dollars on special training to try and keep her well behaved, she was a beloved family pet and very well loved, and she was a pretty good dog, but someone came in the house one day and she attacked them without warning. Animal behaviourists say part of the problem is that a pit gets very still when it's feeling threatened or aggressive, so you can't really tell until it's attacking. But honestly you couldn't get me near one.

I did!

Happened to me a few weeks ago actually. And the thing with pit bulls is that they don't really have body language that warns you they're about to attack or feel threatened, they stay very still and then fly at you, and that is a powerful bite. The nursing and emergency medicine subreddits have horror stories of children who died or lost their faces from pits.

Like 30 cm! It's still there too. Many cars still stuck in the street parking spots. And it is colder than a witch's tit.

The New Yorker books podcast and the NY Times books podcast, questionable publications for sure but their arts sections still remain very good, and the Guardian books section. Also the musician and writer John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats always has amazing and unusual recommendations on Gus Bluesky account.

You should read Neko Case's memoir if you want my two cents. It's amazing.

I was still living at home when my SO (we do not get along anymore) met my mother after a few dates. My mom has BPD, and when older women have it and it's untreated it's REALLY vicious and narcissistic and crazy. She was absolutely obsessed with every detail of my appearance. We had to walk part of the way and it was rainy out so my straightened hair got damp, and she was absolutely psychotic about how my hair looked, so I explained to him as we walked that she would be staring at my hair and extremely fixated on it, and that she would probably be curt and rude to him, which she was, but because I had to live there still I asked him to please just be peaceful and we would get out of there quickly. Well she stared at me with her psychotic violent eyes and talked endlessly about my "ruined" hair, and as predicted was snippy and dismissive to him, so being his oppositional obnoxious self he told her he was a communist to piss her off (this was the 90s and it was a very different outlook on communists then). This made my life hell for many weeks.

When I met his mother, who is a different flavour of abusive, I was not warned at all she was like that, and she gave me a highly unwelcoming look when I came in and he wandered off to fix her computer which she had demanded he come over and fix. I made feeble conversation attempts and talked about how I had been dress shopping that day for my friend's wedding and had gotten a good deal on a dress, I was the maid of honour, and she gave me a terrible look and stated that SHE only shopped second hand. I think I paid 40 dollars for the dress so it's not like I wasn't economical. That pretty much put an end to me trying to talk, and I just sat there miserably. I don't think he or his family ever really had a good picture until I came along and she started treating me poorly what a subtly abusive person she is, but she pits her kids against each other, says provocative things to upset them,called me by the wrong name on purpose since the day I met her despite being corrected several times, and does all sorts of other weird manipulative shit for attention, like pretending she's very poor (she wasn't and had more money than any of us) so giving us only secondhand Christmas gifts that she had taken for free from the Catholic charity shop she volunteered at, and wouldn't even put them in gift boxes but instead in produce boxes she took from the grocery store, full of shit nobody wanted and that we also just donated somewhere else, but also had a thing for giving you really insulting garbage gifts, like giving me her very used personal bathrobe that was positively threadbare, or waking the public golf course near her house and picking up discarded and chipped and broken golf tees and putting them in a Ziploc to give to her son in law who golfs. Or when she gave her only grandchild an old vitamin bottle filled with dish soap and a bubble wand she probably found on the ground at the park. Can't even spend one whole dollar on her only grandchild. She never worked a day in her life and got a very large alimony check every month for that time period, like 2-3K per month, did nothing for her kids but give them used crap they didn't want and threw out, and lived in this weird attention getting way, like if you went to her house for a meal and were trying to clear the table and asked her where the garbage was, and she'd tell you she didn't have a garbage can and to take it across the street to the public garbage can. Like deliberately narcissistically attention getting pseudoeccentricity. All sorts of shit like that. She's still like that even though we are long estranged for her shit behaviour to us, and I think my SO was relieved to have a reason to get away from her, and nobody in his family really has the ability to put into words all the nasty things she does or how it hurts them. So I understand why he didn't tell me because it's so hard to describe, but he also didn't really ever stand up for me, and that should have been my biggest red flag. She is just an awful person.

TL;DR, whatever it is warn them so they don't get hit in the face with it ever no matter how little you interact.

Sixteen Candles. Say Anything. Boogie Nights.

Linguine as long as it's cooked correctly. It's toothsome in the right way.

Orzo can fuck all the way off and when it gets to fuckoffville it can fuck off even further.