Acamon @ Acamon @lemmy.world

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17

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501

Joined

2 yr. ago

Sorry, genuinely trying to understand here. So are you saying "in movies, women who have strength of character are also shown as being 'manly' (big muscles, punches people, etc). Is that how it really is?"

If that's what you're asking, I don't think it's true. Some movies have women of very strong character, who are physically weak, pacifist, etc. And some movies have women that have strong characters and are physically strong, cabable of violence, etc. And some movies have women who are douchey, flawed characters who can be physically strong.

I'm not sure I see any correlation between strength of character and physical strength, or propensity to violence, for either men or women. It's more of a genre thing - in action movies men and women are more likely to be physically tough, and in political dramas they're more likely to be physically weak. And there will be a mix of people with "strong character" and people with flawed or weak characters.

Can you explain a bit more about why you feel it is easier to learn how to enjoy being alone than learn to enjoy being in a relationship?

I defintely struggled with giving up my independence, and still find it hard to be responsible for/to another person. But I finally ended up in a relationship with someone who was also independent and we were in a very casual relationship for five years before we started to admit that we were a couple and another few years before we realised how much we now loved each other. I guess all I'm saying is relationships don't need to be one way. I have a friend who only dates people who live in other cities / countries, because that way they only see each other occasionally and at pre-arranged times, and that works for them.

But if you really feel you are happier on your own and it's just internalised social pressure that makes you want a relationship then you could try developing "singleton pride". Part of the reason gay people historically got into "gay pride" was to help the overcome their own internalised homophobia, because even if you don't agree with something you still absorb it in your upbringing and it can be hard to get past it.

So, you could try directly telling people that you're single for life and that your happy with that choice. If you're worried that society will think you're a failure for not having a relationship then confront that fear immediately and get it out the way. You'll realise that most people don't care, some people will actually be on your side, and the people who do actually think worse of you are wrong so you don't need to care about their opinions. But if you're not confident enough in your decision to proudly stand behind it, then of course doubts will sink in and you'll repeat the loop again.

Don't think so! Defintely much heavier and more solid than bbq charcoal. I don't remember it being very smoky, weird less so than wood fires (which have a distinctive and pleasant smell) or peat fires, which were also common in my region but would trigger my asthma. But possibly it was just that I was used to coal? Maybe someone else would have found it gross?

Edit: Doing a bit of research, it seems like historically home fires would use bituminous coal, but by the time I was a child it was anthracite coal that was used. Which only releases 20% of the smoke of bituminous coal. But it's still a fossil fuel, and not charcoal.

Yeah, defintely not a swifty, but down voted. I don't know a lot about TS but the little I do she doesn't seem noticeably goofy. Distinct lack of a case presented by op.

Use to have an open coal fire in my childhood home. Made many a coal fire. It's very sooty on the hands!

Great song!

Take On Me by A-Ha, when I was four I use to beg my mom to give my change for the jukebox every time we went to the local cafe, then proceed to dance about to it, week after week.

That sounds horrendous!

Been an adult for a few decades now. And, never.

Oh god, yes. I worked in a call centre for six months and it was dreadful. The combination of dealing with sometimes frustrating situations + the anonymity of a voice only call... People were regularly dreadful. Definitely at least 10% very rude people.

I also took it to be a sign of the 'banality of evil', that people having a nice time with their friends, eating some nice food, are generally pleasant. But put them in the privacy of their own home, speaking to a faceless stranger, and suddenly they can be awful. But I tried not to judge them to harshly. The design of call centres, with long hold times and staff with no real power to do anything helpful, is pretty much guaranteed to frustrate the most saintly of people.

Totally agree that eating at a restaurant doesn't mean you see all the subtle ways people are douches. But the comment above was about people shouting, so I assumed that the "10% of people are rude" was meaning obviously and noticeably rude. If it's just 10% of people are impatient / distracted / not very friendly / kinda annoying. Then sure, but I don't think anyone would be surprised with such a mild claim.

And as I said, I was a waiter in a busy restaurant for over two years. And the staff spent a lot of time complaining about the job to each other (as you do) and while many customers were annoying, kept changing their orders, or were a bit drunk and laughing loudly the whole time, blah blah, I don't remember anyone ever complaining about a customer being as rude as I regularly read / see on the Internet. I never encounter a "Karen".

I've always assumed it is just that Internet focusses on the tiny number of extreme behaviours and makes it sound more normal. But then I hear people say things like 10% of people are awful to staff and it makes me think that maybe there's a real cultural difference.

Maybe in some places. But when I go out to a restaurant, I'm often surrounded by a few dozen other diners, and no one is acting up or shouting at waiting staff. I have seen customers be obviously rude to staff but it's very rare compared to the number of "normal" interactions. Sure not everyone is friendly and totally polite, but entitled, shouting or just being an ass is an absolute exception, like less than 0.1%. I also worked as a waiter in a couple of different restaurants over a two year period, and don't remember any incidents either to me or my colleagues.

When I read comments like this it makes me wonder if I've been lucky enough to live and work in decent places, and the USA is just an nightmare hellscape, or if the reality there is much more normal and we just hear an unrepresentative sample of it.

Is that not a word you hear very often? Or does it sound like a dirty word or something?

I'm not sure if the science of it, but I find cotton to be much more comfortable. Synthetic fibres get really sweaty while cotton feels comfortable in all weather. And I use to have skin issues (eczema and psoriasis) and cotton was defitnely less irritating than synthetic fibres.

My fave is merino wool leggings, very soft and good at regulating body temperature. Doesn't get too hot but also protects from the cold.

This is a really interesting, thoughtful comment (and exactly why I love lemmy).

I don't know if it's just my lack of imagination, but I find your description of AI pet/companion as an art/media object much more plausible and interesting rather than when people discuss their possible sentience. It really doesn't seem to many steps from Spotify's discovery weekly playlist or Google Assistant reading all my emails, when combined with LLM capacity to plausibly bullshit, to having a 'virtual friend' who texts me jokes, questions and what not.

Especially since we've both normalised interacting with humans in entirely digital ways & created a massive corpus of how humans interact via social media archives. Why do I want a calendar app pinging me a notification when I could have a virtual companion message me "I hope your haircut goes well this afternoon, looking forward to seeing your new look!" or "don't fucking forget your appointment again you dumbass" depending on what companion I purchased.

Given many people's preference to "get everything in one place", it seems likely that instead of newsletters, comedy subs or travel updates, we'll just have different imaginary friends sending us the stuff we need/want to know, mixed in with our actual friends. Some of whom might as well be virtual since we never see them in the flesh.

I understand the frustration, and I think we've all seen locked posts we would like to have participated in. But can I check what you're actually arguing, are you saying that if there's ever significant interest in a post (hundreds of comments etc) then it's not appropriate for one person to close it?

If I make a "Trump just did something crazy!" post in a Android community, and I get lots of responses and spirited debate, is it wrong for the mod to close it because it's completely unrelated to the community?

If I post some super hot NSFW "does my ass look good in this thong?" post in NoStupidQuestions community, is it wrong for the mod to remove it for breaking community rules? Even if it's a question and it's getting lots of up votes and comments?

Ah! Fair point! Yeah, I guess retried / has-been youtubers are going to be a weird demographic. I wonder if they'll do nostalgia fuelled tours of student unions or coffeeshops as the kids that loved them become adults? The ones that aren't already multimillionaires.

Yeah, furthest I ever fit with a fitness program is 5x5. It's such a small amount of individual activities, they're always challenging because of the increasing weights, and it feels like there's a really clear goal that you're moving towards (not just 'go to they gym until your fit').

Focusing on getting the movement right kept me fully occupied during the actual rep and there's only a few different exercises each day so it didn't take too long. For getting started, I would just do a intense bounce / dance around the room to warm myself up (I had weights at home so I didn't need to worry about getting the gym or other people seeing me). With warm and focused reps and a bit of a cool down, I could generally do the whole thing in under 45 minutes, so even if I had spent the day lazing around I could often trick myself into "shit, it's almost six and I need to meet the guys in an hour, I guess I'll just quickly rush through my reps" (and then I would be late of course, but that's normal). A workout buddy would be the other ideal for accountability / motivation.

Is there some reference I'm not getting? Or is this just a "there are more things in heaven and earth, buddy, than are dreamt of in your philosophy" kinda thing?

In Britain lots of beers come on both sizes, and it makes comparing prices #mildlyinfuriating. Is 6x500ml at £7.99 better than 4x440ml at £4.50? What if there's an 12 pack of 330ml stubbies for £15, but it's Buy One Get One Free?