AFK BRB Chocolate @ AFKBRBChocolate @lemmy.world

Yet another refugee who washed up on the shore after the great Reddit disas

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2 yr. ago

Agreed. She was also frank, and not very judgemental about things that don't affect other people.

When I was young, my mind was super visual. People would talk, and there would be a stream of pictures and videos in my mind. Then I got really into reading and writing and, over the years, my mine got much less visual. I still can visualize things, but it's not the way my mind really works. It's closer to an audio book, but isn't really sound, either.

She was only a radio personality at the time, and she sounded very old. She was on the KROQ morning show a lot.

Wow, she was still alive? She seemed ancient in the 80s.

Thanks, me too!

Yeah, similar. She has CRPS, and they just don't understand that very well. Since it's neuropathic, most drugs don't do much and she doesn't like the side effects anyway. They used to call it the suicide disease because so many people would just kill themselves rather than deal with the unending, untreatable pain. Treatments have gotten somewhat better though. Still, most doctors don't know what to do with her.

Wouldn't it be cool if there was some sort of gauge they could use to see which of those it was?

There was a while when I thought my wife was getting better. Then one night she took off her socks and one of her toes was black and swollen. It turned out that she had stumbled on the stairs earlier in that day, and apparently had broken her toe, but she didn't realize because the constant pain in the other leg and foot was enough that the broken toe didn't really stand out.

I do think she's gotten a bit better over the last year or so, but it's so hard to know if it's that or she's acclimated to the pain.

I have genitofemoral neuropathy.

Oh, man, that's a tough one - sorry to hear it.

I'm not familiar with those things but, if that's all accurate, aren't those abilities themselves things that were naturally selected for?

As others have said, evolution doesn't really work that way: an individual organism doesn't make changes to suit its environment. Offspring aren't carbon copies of their parents, there's variation of pretty much every attribute. Most attributes don't really impact survivability, but sometimes they do. If certain things tend to result in an organism surviving to reproduce better than other things, those traits get reinforced and are more likely to be passed on. Over lots and lots of generations, you can end up with pretty much every organism in that species having that trait, and that trait getting more and more pronounced.

My wife has been on both of those. Neither at the moment.

My wife has had a chronic neuropathic pain condition since 2008, and this is pretty accurate. One of the interesting aspects of chronic pain is that there's no way to measure it - no way for a doctor to know how much pain a person is in other than to ask, and the answer is inherently subjective. I've seen with my wife that clearly the pain itself can vary, with one day being better or worse than the prior, but also her ability to deal with it varies. If she's tired, emotional, or cranky, the same amount of pain can be untenable.

They sometimes use antidepressants for neuropathic pain, and as I understand it the thinking is that they influence how pain is proceeded in the brain, but I always wonder if part of the success is simply that people on antidepressants get less derailed by a given level of pain.

Understood, and that makes sense. I do try to look at the conversational back and forth, not just the individual comment. So if I find myself thinking someone I know should read the whole exchange, I'm more inclined to up vote the individual comments, even the ones I disagree with.

Another exception, though, is anyone being an asshole, even if they make a good point. I prefer conversations to be civil, and don't want to give any credence to a jerk.

Even on Reddit, it was originally understood that an upvote was for a comment that contributed to the conversation, or a post that you'd recommend others see, and a downvote was the opposite. But people just naturally want to make them like/dislike buttons. I've upvoted lots of comments that I disagreed with as long as I thought they were a good faith contribution to the discussion.

An exception is when the thread is something like advice or an explanation (e.g., why is the sky blue). I'm not upvoting a wrong answer or bad advice regardless of the broader voting philosophy.

Thanks, I posted there, too

What a bullshit take.

Thanks!

I took a similar pic years ago that's still one of my favorite that I took myself

Oh, I understood, just saying that all we heard was a bunch of negatives for most people, and I'm trying to recognize that they might be somewhat balanced by some positives.

For most attributes, most people fall somewhere within normal tolerances. People might lean towards being introverted or extroverted, have sex as a higher or lower priority, etc., but they aren't that far away from a midpoint. You have some attributes that you're way out at the 90+ percentile, and that means your experience is likely going to be different from most people's.

That's probably pretty frustrating. You're as deserving of happy, rewarding relationships as anyone, but like the guy with the size 16 shoe, you're going to be harder to fit than most.

On the one hand, I firmly believe that whatever attributes you have, there are people who want exactly that. On the other hand, the less popular those attributes are, the fewer people there are who want them. You apparently need someone who leans towards sexuality, is patient enough to deal with someone who is somewhat antisocial, and is willing to put up with kind of rude things like being ghosted or whatever, but is interested in reading a kid with someone like that. That's a tiny percentage of people. You didn't mention if you have other qualities that would be really attractive to people and might help balancing things out.

So what you do is just keep plugging at it, while understanding that it's probably going to be a long search.