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memes @lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver @startrek.website

2y ago

Pushovers

36 comments

A hot pepper will haunt you from the grave when, some time later, you scratch your eye or decide to rub one off.
- Out*
  If you're rubbing it off, please seek medical attention.
  
  Don't kink shame.
  
  On the other hand, "rub one out" is slang for a COMPLETELY different activity..
- Why would you rub your eye off?
  Also, Buc-ee's ghost pepper jerky is my addiction.
  
  Kinky.
Pineapple: am I a joke to you?
- The only fruit that'll eat you back
  
  Durian can get you in trouble with law enforcement in some parts of the world.
Shout out to elderberries which are cyanogenic and pawpaw fruit which contains a neurotoxin.
- cyanogenic
  They turn you blue?! 😱
  
  No, that's cyan. Cyanogenic is an open-source mobile operating system used as an alternative to Android.
  
  Maybe that's what happened to Eiffel 65 or that moon Elvis was singing about!
Meanwhile durian oozes into the room and onions suddenly wants to die of shame.
- If durian was so scary, why is their meat delicious.
  
  At a hotel I stayed in this summer
With a sharp knife and proper technique you can avoid the tears.
Plus you don't have to wear gloves like when you're slicing chilis.
- The only reason I slice chilis is because I crave the pain when I rub my eyes.
  
  Try rubbing your genitals next time. That's super fun.
  
  Habanero face mask
- I wear gloves when slicing chillies for aesthetic reasons only
- Yup. Just cut the root off before you start slicing the onion and there's no tears.
There's a vegetable called the black salsify, which has a number of nicknames in different languages alluding to how much of a mess it makes when you cut it.
Uh...chili peppers?
Grapefruit can put up a bit of a fight.

36 comments